Chatting with Gundi

[Christine]

hi debi are you feeling more love now? :) I was working on my new kits yesterday (did you all see them?) and volunteer on Friday at the boys' school

[scrapper09]

Thanks so much ladies for your prayers & thoughts :pray:

I brought Mother home on Thursday 3rd but back to the Dr. on Friday 4th - home on the weekend :( we miss not going out to church with our friends - Out to another Dr. our regular on Monday 7th & he said it was Cattarah & then out again on Wednesday 9th for groceries & back treatments - so as you see I haven't had too much time :(

Thanks so much ladies your prayers & thoughts are much appreciated :hands: & still needed as Mother goes to a Heart Specialist on Monday 14th & a Respiratory Specialist first wk of March :think:

Now I'm trying to find time to catch up on my challenges...

Thanks again & I'll keep you posted :hug:

[Maggie Macpaine]

Put my DH's Uncle in your prayers. His doctor told him he has Kidney Cancer. They are going to take one of his kidneys in a few weeks. He is in his 80s.

[ReneT]

Hello girls!

Addie, so glad Sebastian is doing good with his glasses! That's great!

Chris, you've been busy! Love the kits!

Jemima, glad your mom is home, but I feel for you both with all those appointments!

We are on our way to San Antonio. Almost there. About another hour. Lindsey is very homesick, so she's excited to see us, as we are her.

Have a great weekend everyone!

[ReneT]

Oh Maggie, so sorry abou your DH's uncle! He will be in my prayers. That will be a difficult surgery at his age. Bless his heart. Does he live near you?

[Maggie Macpaine]

He does. He lives in Peoria, which is 30 minutes away. Lee's parents, his brother, and children also live nearby -- so plenty of family to take care of him.

[debilou]

Put my DH's Uncle in your prayers. His doctor told him he has Kidney Cancer. They are going to take one of his kidneys in a few weeks. He is in his 80s.

Oh, I'm so sorry Maggie.. Prayers for your uncle and your family.. hugs..:love3::love3:

[GrandmaCrys]

Prayers for your uncle, Maggie! :pray: :pray: :pray:

Continued prayers for your Mother, Jemima! :pray: :pray: :pray:

[debilou]

What is happening here.. where is everybody.. i feel so alone..

echo, echo, echo.

[Christine]

Good morning everyone! Sorry to hear about your uncle too Maggie, along w/ Jemima's mom. Hugs everyone! I am off to choir practice, then church, then I am meeting w/ some of my young women about girls' camp this summer, so who knows when I will be back :) Hugs!

[GrandmaCrys]

S.l.o.w.l.y...she walks through the empty hallways, and finding no one home, she quietly walks out the door...

[idtwinmom]

I'm here! I just haven't had a lot to talk about lately. That and busy trying to get ready for DDs 5th birthday. Still hard to believe she's within 2 weeks of that magic mark. Gotta remember to make the Drs appt. I'm sure they will want to give her shots and I will have to promise her ice cream if she sits still. LOL

[debilou]

Yes, Crys, it's been soooo lonely in here lately..

echo echo echo......

[Christine]

we had a fun family game night tonight and played spoons. I was the big winner, probably cuz everybody knows you can't sneak something (spoon or otherwise) out from under Mommy's nose, she will catch you every time :D

[ReneT]

Hello everyone! Back from San Antonio. It was great to see Lindsey & Brad. Lindsey was so glad to see us that they stayed up till we got to the hotel around 10 and stayed till after midnight Friday night. She's a girl who loves her sleep - bed at 9:30 and sleep till noon, so I think she must have been missing her dad to have stayed up that late. :)

We had lunch Saturday down on the Riverwalk, then went to the San Antonio Rodeo! Wow! That's a huge rodeo! It was fun. I hadn't been to a rodeo since the early 90's. They had this thing called Mutton Bustin which was about the funniest thing I have ever seen in my life! It's like bareback bronc riding, only with 4-6 year olds hanging on for dear life to sheep that have their hair grown out long around their necks for the kids to hang on to! Hilarious! Then after the rodeo, Clay Walker played a short concert which we really enjoyed! Fun, fun, fun. Today we had lunch with them then headed home. Lots of driving for a short visit, but it was worth it.

Note to self: when going to the SA Rodeo from 5 until after midnight (not counting the 2 hours at the River walk), and having to park blocks away, walk all over the rodeo grounds, through all the retail exhibits, then going in the entrance to the coliseum that is FARTHEST from your seat, up and down the stairs from your seat to the bathroom a couple of times, then walk back the blocks to the car after the rodeo - DO NOT WEAR HIGH HEELED BOOTS!

[addielee]

Ha ha Rene! Love your reminder.

DH and I just got home from seeing The King's Speech. What a good movie!! I knew the story behind it, but DH didn't really and we were both impressed. We also went out for dinner, leaving the kids with DH's folks. Earlier today, his grandma and aunt and uncle came for a visit, so it's been a pretty busy day. Back to the grind tomorrow morning.

Maggie and Jemima, you both have places in my thoughts.

[ReneT]

Chris, I haven't played spoons in so long! What a fun game! I need to Google the rules. Drew and Amy love to have game nights, so we may try that next weekend. Is 4 too few to play successfully?

Addie, I want to see the King's Speech. Not sure I can talk the hubby into it though. We kinda have a rule with the Netflix: We order one he will like (aliens, action, westerns, beat people up: you get the idea) then next we order one I would like (romantic comedies, comedy of any kind-except tacky bathroom humor, epics, musicals, chick-flicks). But usually at the movies, he usually wins out on what we see except when I flat out refuse to see scary movies or alien or paranormal type stuff. 1) because of my beliefs 2) because they stress me out because I sit for 2 hours stressed out from the movie itself, but also stressed out from trying not to scream which embarrasses kids and hubby (and if you listen to Gary tell the story, apparently almost caused the guy in the seat in front of me to have a small heart attach during one movie because he says I leaved over and basically screamed very loudly in his ear. I don't quite remember it that way. :D)

[addielee]

Addie, I want to see the King's Speech. Not sure I can talk the hubby into it though. We kinda have a rule with the Netflix: We order one he will like (aliens, action, westerns, beat people up: you get the idea) then next we order one I would like (romantic comedies, comedy of any kind-except tacky bathroom humor, epics, musicals, chick-flicks). But usually at the movies, he usually wins out on what we see except when I flat out refuse to see scary movies or alien or paranormal type stuff. 1) because of my beliefs 2) because they stress me out because I sit for 2 hours stressed out from the movie itself, but also stressed out from trying not to scream which embarrasses kids and hubby (and if you listen to Gary tell the story, apparently almost caused the guy in the seat in front of me to have a small heart attach during one movie because he says I leaved over and basically screamed very loudly in his ear. I don't quite remember it that way. :D)

My DH laughed out loud, clapped his hands in places and half-way through leaned over and told me how amazing the movie was. Maybe that will convince Gary?

[ReneT]

My DH laughed out loud, clapped his hands in places and half-way through leaned over and told me how amazing the movie was. Maybe that will convince Gary?

Maybe so. Maybe I can talk him into it for date night next weekend. Crossing my fingers! Everyone who I've talked to that has seen it says it's great!

[bendipez]

Where is everyone??? Oh yeah, sleeping!! Had last wisdom tooth pulled and bone graft done saturday and came home and took some nice meds and slept. Slept most of sunday too, now can't quite ho to sleep!! And saturday when i came home Shawn gave me my Valentines Day present!!! He said he wanted to give it to me right away to cheer me up..
And what was it you ask?? A double heart necklace with rubies and diamonds!!! Okay, he bought it at kmart!! Actually he had a friend take him over and he used the motorized carts they have at the store!!! He was able to get in and out easily and zip around the store!!! So, while it's not a fancy piece or even expensive piece it means a lot to both of us since he went over and picked it out himself!!!

[ReneT]

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQfB5yv_-IoA2s5YPGOE39MiAa589bJ_EzdTJhESB5s6AerAmj-4A

Have a great day girls!

[debilou]

Happy Valentine's Day to all the Gundi Girls!!!

[addielee]

Happy Valentine's Day ladies!

[GrandmaCrys]

http://img-s3-01.mytextgraphics.com/overlappingtextlive/2011/02/14/adf370b776e5b72c24e9a44516691892.gif (http://www.overlappingtextlive.com)

[GrandmaCrys]

Hello everyone! Back from San Antonio. It was great to see Lindsey & Brad. Lindsey was so glad to see us that they stayed up till we got to the hotel around 10 and stayed till after midnight Friday night. She's a girl who loves her sleep - bed at 9:30 and sleep till noon, so I think she must have been missing her dad to have stayed up that late. :)

We had lunch Saturday down on the Riverwalk, then went to the San Antonio Rodeo! Wow! That's a huge rodeo! It was fun. I hadn't been to a rodeo since the early 90's. They had this thing called Mutton Bustin which was about the funniest thing I have ever seen in my life! It's like bareback bronc riding, only with 4-6 year olds hanging on for dear life to sheep that have their hair grown out long around their necks for the kids to hang on to! Hilarious! Then after the rodeo, Clay Walker played a short concert which we really enjoyed! Fun, fun, fun. Today we had lunch with them then headed home. Lots of driving for a short visit, but it was worth it.

Note to self: when going to the SA Rodeo from 5 until after midnight (not counting the 2 hours at the River walk), and having to park blocks away, walk all over the rodeo grounds, through all the retail exhibits, then going in the entrance to the coliseum that is FARTHEST from your seat, up and down the stairs from your seat to the bathroom a couple of times, then walk back the blocks to the car after the rodeo - DO NOT WEAR HIGH HEELED BOOTS!

That sounds like such fun, Rene, (except the high-heeled boots part, which I wouldn't wear on a bet) and I LOVE Clay Walker.

[GrandmaCrys]

We had weekend guests. CK's *favorite* grandson (sssshh! don't tell ;)), his wife and stepson, 8.

Everyone but me went ice fishing from about 7-2 on Sat. Then they came home, messed around, and we all went out for pizza. Shopped a little bit and came home and played Mexican Trail dominoes. Oh! What fun. They had never played and we made converts out of all three of them. The 8 yr. old caught on quite well.

Sun. am after breakfast Waylon, the DSGS, asked if we could play again and of course we did. Then CK treated us to a Fish Fry, and we sent them home, tired, happy and full! ;)

Had such a great time together we're going to try to arrange a small vacation for the 5 of us together this June. YAY!!

[debilou]

We had weekend guests. CK's *favorite* grandson (sssshh! don't tell ;)), his wife and stepson, 8.

Everyone but me went ice fishing from about 7-2 on Sat. Then they came home, messed around, and we all went out for pizza. Shopped a little bit and came home and played Mexican Trail dominoes. Oh! What fun. They had never played and we made converts out of all three of them. The 8 yr. old caught on quite well.

Sun. am after breakfast Waylon, the DSGS, asked if we could play again and of course we did. Then CK treated us to a Fish Fry, and we sent them home, tired, happy and full! ;)

Had such a great time together we're going to try to arrange a small vacation for the 5 of us together this June. YAY!!
How fun.. and I bet, just a bet, you have photos... can't wait to see them..

[debilou]

Hello everyone! Back from San Antonio. It was great to see Lindsey & Brad. Lindsey was so glad to see us that they stayed up till we got to the hotel around 10 and stayed till after midnight Friday night. She's a girl who loves her sleep - bed at 9:30 and sleep till noon, so I think she must have been missing her dad to have stayed up that late. :)

We had lunch Saturday down on the Riverwalk, then went to the San Antonio Rodeo! Wow! That's a huge rodeo! It was fun. I hadn't been to a rodeo since the early 90's. They had this thing called Mutton Bustin which was about the funniest thing I have ever seen in my life! It's like bareback bronc riding, only with 4-6 year olds hanging on for dear life to sheep that have their hair grown out long around their necks for the kids to hang on to! Hilarious! Then after the rodeo, Clay Walker played a short concert which we really enjoyed! Fun, fun, fun. Today we had lunch with them then headed home. Lots of driving for a short visit, but it was worth it.

Note to self: when going to the SA Rodeo from 5 until after midnight (not counting the 2 hours at the River walk), and having to park blocks away, walk all over the rodeo grounds, through all the retail exhibits, then going in the entrance to the coliseum that is FARTHEST from your seat, up and down the stairs from your seat to the bathroom a couple of times, then walk back the blocks to the car after the rodeo - DO NOT WEAR HIGH HEELED BOOTS!

Oh, the high heeled boots really not the problem - get a cab... we use them all the time in San Antonio - to get from location to location .

and, the trick is to stand on the corner - right before a major hotel - so you don't have to stand in your high heel boots longer than necessary - after a major event - every hotel valet - is swamped with requests for cabs- but, if you go to the corner before the cab turns into the hotel, swipe the cab - it costs like $5 with tip to get to your next downtown location. works like a charm...

[Christine]

oooh you are sneaky Debi!

Sounds like lots of fun, Rene.

Glad you had a great w/e Crys and wahoo to Bendi. :D

Here's the way we play spoons, and since we do elimination, it gets down to only 2 people so 4 is fine. :D

have people sit around a table close together so everyone can reach is best. Deal each person 4 cards. There are 2 goals, 1st to get 4 matching cards and 2nd but really the most important to get a spoon. LOL You have one less spoon than people. The dealer has all of the rest of the deck and picks up the top card decides to keep it or pass it on to the next person on the left, places it face down if passing it on, 2nd person picks it up and chooses keep or pass on, etc etc all the way around the table. Once the dealer runs out of cards in the pile, they start taking the cards that the person on their right is setting down. This continues until someone has 4 matching card, then that person grabs a spoon (sneaky is good and just keep passing cards) as soon as people realize that a spoon is missing, the mad grab begins. Who ever ends up w/ no spoon gets a letter S-P-O-O-N-S. You are out once you have spelled spoons, remove one spoon and play continues until there is only one person left. Ask questions if this doesn't make sense.

[Christine]

oh yeah and happy valentines day to everyone! HUGS!!

[ReneT]

Everyone but me went ice fishing from about 7-2 on Sat. Then they came home, messed around, and we all went out for pizza. Shopped a little bit and came home and played Mexican Trail dominoes. Oh! What fun. They had never played and we made converts out of all three of them. The 8 yr. old caught on quite well.

We played a game called Mexican TRAIN dominoes several years ago with Gary's sister and her family when they came in town for Christmas. We loved it so much and played it 2 nights in a row. Then a few months later, we decided to buy our own game, just exactly like theirs, but by that time, had forgotten exactly how the game went (or how they played it) so we never could figure out how to do it. The directions didn't sound anything like the way we had been playing, so we were lost. :( We never have played it since. We need to try it again since we have Drew & Amy who now like to have game nights.

Had such a great time together we're going to try to arrange a small vacation for the 5 of us together this June. YAY!!

That will be fun - for the 5 of you to take a trip together!

Oh, the high heeled boots really not the problem - get a cab... we use them all the time in San Antonio - to get from location to location.

Well we were leaving from Brad & Lindsey's house, which is out near Sea World, so a cab really wasn't an option. All the hotels downtown check to make sure you have a room there before you can park in their lots, and the lot we parked in at the Riverwalk was timed, so we couldn't leave the car there for the rest of the evening. There were only certain parking areas we felt comfortable parking in. Some looked like the kinda places we really didn't want to walk back to after dark. We told Brad if he wants to be a good son-in-law, next time he needed to get us limo service so we could be dropped off in front of the coliseum.:rofl::rofl: He had great box seats for us for the rodeo with access to the VIP bar upstairs, but we had to give him a hard time anyway. (His dad actually has the block of seats and let us 4 have them for the night.)

Here's the way we play spoons, and since we do elimination, it gets down to only 2 people so 4 is fine. :D

have people sit around a table close together so everyone can reach is best. Deal each person 4 cards. There are 2 goals, 1st to get 4 matching cards and 2nd but really the most important to get a spoon. LOL You have one less spoon than people. The dealer has all of the rest of the deck and picks up the top card decides to keep it or pass it on to the next person on the left, places it face down if passing it on, 2nd person picks it up and chooses keep or pass on, etc etc all the way around the table. Once the dealer runs out of cards in the pile, they start taking the cards that the person on their right is setting down. This continues until someone has 4 matching card, then that person grabs a spoon (sneaky is good and just keep passing cards) as soon as people realize that a spoon is missing, the mad grab begins. Who ever ends up w/ no spoon gets a letter S-P-O-O-N-S. You are out once you have spelled spoons, remove one spoon and play continues until there is only one person left. Ask questions if this doesn't make sense.

Thanks! We'll play it Sunday. I talked to him earlier and they want to come over Sunday for games.

He asked me what Gary I are were doing for Valentine's Day and I told him nothing since Gary had to go work in Amarillo again this week, so he invited me to go to dinner on his and Amy's date. I told him no thank you, but I thought it was sweet. (I'm again going to pretend in my head that he was concerned about me being alone on Valentine's Day instead of that he knew if I went along, I would pay. :lol::lol:)

[PQ]

I just wanted to make certain that ya'll see this new thread:

http://www.digitalscrapbookplace.com/forum/showthread.php?p=946280#post946280

You have to choose your favorite couple AND MAKE THEM YOUR AVATAR....it is suppose to be an ON-SCREEN couple.....but I decided that I would just go with my favorite couple.

[ReneT]

You had me all confused there for a minute PQ! That's hilarious!:lol::lol:

[ReneT]

OK venting alert!!!! And I need some advice!!!!

OK, so those of you who have been around the Gundi thread for awhile, remember how I didn't want to do Lindsey and Brad's engagement photos, but she really wanted me to and begged me to even tho I told her I wasn't ready for that? Remember how nervous I was about taking them. OK, so then remember how we found out that her friend was going to just take "some shots for fun" of Lindsey & Brad the weekend before, but we were told that my photos were going to be the "official" engagement photos? OK, so then remember how I took all those photos and did DAYS AND DAYS worth of post processing on them so they would look as good as I could possibly get them to look? OK, so then remember when my photos were never used for any engagement photo and her friend's "just for fun" photo was chosen for the Save the Date cards? So then I was embarrassed and hurt that none of the photos I took and worked on so hard were chosen for the Save the Date. So that was months and months ago, and I just wanted to forget about it all and have only scrapped a few of those photos.

Well guess what? You'll never IN A MILLION YEARS guess what, so I'll just tell you. I got a text message today from Lindsey with a photo on it. It was a text of one of the photos I took of them that day. In the photo, my photo was hung on a wall in a black frame. Lindsey said had Brad had submitted my photo and it had won a contest and was now hanging on a wall in the San Antonio courthouse! I was so excited! She went on to say that about 300 were submitted and only about 50 were chosen to be displayed on the walls of the courthouse! I was getting even more excited! On my phone, I enlarged the text of the photo of my photo and I realized there was a placard on the frame and it had someone's name on it. I asked Lindsey who was the person who's name was on the frame. She told me it was a friend of Brad's and that it was actually this friend who had submitted my photo. Apparently he told Brad he needed a "really high quality" photo to submit, so Brad had given him that photo and he submitted it. She then texted that she guessed since he submitted it, he got credit for it. I asked her if it was a photography contest, and she didn't answer me back then. Later I got a text from her saying she had asked Brad about the contest and the text said "It was a new courthouse with no decor, so they let the employees submit options."

So here's a copy of the photo in the text. It's a photo of MY photo hanging on the wall in a frame with someone else's name on it. Don't you think when people see the photo in the courthouse, they think he took it because it has his name on it? What should I say/do? I know it's not a copyrighted photo, but seriously, I feel like someone is getting/taking credit for my photo. But I feel like if I say anything about it, that opens up a whole can of worms with Lindsey, Brad and Brad's best man at the wedding!

[PQ]

Rene, I think that they ought to be ashamed of themselves. I don't know what I would say....but they are thieves. They have stolen your work and put their names on it.

[GrandmaCrys]

Rene, I agree with PQ! That is the tackiest thing I have ever heard. You should be outraged!!! :eek: :eek:

Wish I could tell you what to say/how to feel, but I can't.

I had something similar happen. CK's DGD, the mother of the twins. I had taken several pictures of the girls and then sent them to her, because I thought they were pretty good. Never got an acknowledgment of her receiving the pictures, let alone a thank you. :yikes: :yikes:

As time goes on, she sends me an email; please vote for the girls, they're in an online photo contest. So, dutiful Grandma that I am, I go to vote. Hot damn! If it isn't my photos she submitted! I was livid. But, in the *interest of family*, I never said a word. :( But, then, I'm a wienie! ;)

[Christine]

Rene, I would say something, that is just not right and yes actually there definitely is some sort of copyright on it. It is YOUR artistic property. Now I am not an expert, but it doesn't HAVE to have the circled c on it to be copyrighted or have an official legal thing. According to Scott Kelby you can add a copyright notice on your pictures right as you put them in the computer. Particularly at a COURTHOUSE, do they really want stolen art hanging on their walls? I would say something to Lindsey and Brad and just say look that is my picture, I am more than willing to have it hanging there, but I want my name on it.

[Christine]

uggggg Crys, I would so not be happy either

[Christine]

Rene, maybe you could approach it from that aspect, "look the courthouse probably doesn't want something hanging on their walls that is illegally credited to the wrong person." :)

[ReneT]

Thanks for the support guys! I don't know what to do. It makes me proud that it was chosen to be displayed. It looks cool framed and matted, but then I see the name placard, and I think about someone taking MY photo, converting it to black and white (I had given Lindsey & Brad a couple of different photo effects for that photo, but not B/W), having it printed, matted, and his name put on it, and it just upsets me so much!

Wonder if he realizes the person whose work he is taking credit for will be the step-mother of the bride at the wedding he is about to stand up at? And the father of the bride is not too happy with him at the moment either!!!

And why would Brad give him a photo of mine anyway? And does Lindsey not realize that they aren't just free to give away the photos I took to anyone they choose? Or does she realize what has happened, she's just not going to say anything to Brad about it? I just don't know.

[ReneT]

Rene, maybe you could approach it from that aspect, "look the courthouse probably doesn't want something hanging on their walls that is illegally credited to the wrong person." :)

That's exactly what Gary said! He said knowing how courthouses are, he probably had to sign something that said it was his work or that he had permission to use it. So I think I will approach it like you suggested.

[stitchmich]

I am so outraged that I may fly down to Texas, visit that courthouse and remove it from the wall myself! I know that some people don't get the concept of a person's photo being their artwork or property. Some people think it's just a picture. BUT I do not understand how anyone could have a photo that is not theirs hanging on a wall with their name on it... in a courthouse no less! That should be blatantly obviously wrong. I think Gary has to step in on this one.

Ask them this... if Rene painted a picture would you sign your name on it and hang it on the wall? Would you put your name on one of her scrapbook pages and send it to a contest with your name on it? Her photograph is equally her art. It's wonderful that it's hanging in the courthouse, but surely you understand it should have her name on it.

[debilou]

OK venting alert!!!! And I need some advice!!!!

OK, so those of you who have been around the Gundi thread for awhile, remember how I didn't want to do Lindsey and Brad's engagement photos, but she really wanted me to and begged me to even tho I told her I wasn't ready for that? Remember how nervous I was about taking them. OK, so then remember how we found out that her friend was going to just take "some shots for fun" of Lindsey & Brad the weekend before, but we were told that my photos were going to be the "official" engagement photos? OK, so then remember how I took all those photos and did DAYS AND DAYS worth of post processing on them so they would look as good as I could possibly get them to look? OK, so then remember when my photos were never used for any engagement photo and her friend's "just for fun" photo was chosen for the Save the Date cards? So then I was embarassed and hurt that none of the photos I took and worked on so hard were chosen for the Save the Date. So that was months and months ago, and I just wanted to forget about it all and have only scrapped a few of those photos.

Well guess what? You'll never IN A MILLION YEARS guess what, so I'll just tell you. I got a text message today from Lindsey with a photo on it. It was a text of one of the photos I took of them that day. In the photo, my photo was hung on a wall in a black frame. Lindsey said had Brad had submitted my photo and it had won a contest and was now hanging on a wall in the San Antonio courthouse! I was so excited! She went on to say that about 300 were submitted and only about 50 were chosen to be displayed on the walls of the courthouse! I was getting even more excited! On my phone, I enlarged the text of the photo of my photo and I realized there was a placard on the frame and it had someone's name on it. I asked Lindsey who was the person who's name was on the frame. She told me it was a friend of Brad's and that it wasactually this friend who had submitted my photo. Apparently he told Brad he needed a "really high quality" photo to submit, so Brad had given him that photo and he submitted it. She then texted that she guessed since he submitted it, he got credit for it. I asked her if it was a photography contest, and she didn't answer me back then. Later I got a text from her saying she had asked Brad about the contest and the text said "It was a new courthouse with no decor, so they let the employees submit options."

So here's a copy of the photo in the text. It's a photo of MY photo hanging on the wall in a frame with someone else's name on it. Don't you think when people see the photo in the courthouse, they think he took it because it has his name on it? What should I say/do? I know it's not a copyrighted photo, but seriously, I feel like someone is getting/taking credit for my photo. But I feel like if I say anything about it, that opens up a whole can of worms with Lindsey, Brad and Brad's best man at the wedding!

Did he get any money for this photo?

You can't just claim a copyright - because well, you didn't copyright the photos
but, you can do an expedited copyright.

And, then you have total rights to the photo and any derivatives (meaning - if he had changed anything in the photo - the original photo is still yours)..

Then you have every right to hall his butt to court..

[debilou]

And, I am going to San Antonio soon.. if I see it at the court house, I will personally rip it off the walls, if that will make you happy ok...

or spray graffiti on it... something like that ok..

that is just a horrible thing to do..

I can't even image entering someone else's photo into a photo contest - well maybe one of Sands - since she lives so far away - she can't hit me from there.. lol..

no really that's a horrible thing to do..


But, here's the truth..

If you take a photo - you can add a copyright to the EXIF data - in your camera - or in CS5 (in the info fields)..
or you can add a copyright somewhere on top of your photo before you post the photo on say a photo sharing site, say flickr or smug mug...

but, it doesn't make a bit of difference

the only way a photo is copy righted is to COPY RIGHT IT!

You can put - i can't off the top of my head remember how many - but i know it's at least a 1000 in a batch for $35.00 to the copyright office.

the thumbnails for your photos just have to be large enough for a judge to say, yes, that was your photo.

if you were to say - oh, sure I copyrighted that photo - when you really didn't

the first thing the other side would ask for is for your copyright number established by the copyright office. Since Rene doesn't have one, she would not have a case

Rene's photo is actually in what is called public domain.. she knows, Lindsey, Brad, and, creep know who took the photo, but, Rene sadly has no case..

Unless - she does an expedited copyright of the photo. Then she could file a claim...

[Christine]

The thing is I don't think Rene actually wants to file a suit etc, or any sort of payment, she just wants credit for her work. I would think that the courthouse, would not want any sort of bad publicity for using stolen work and really I would hope that the guy in question would not be such a jerk that he would make it a battle. Common decency says you don't take another's work and claim it as your own. Hopefully it is one of those deals where he just didn't think and will do the right thing and give Rene credit.

[sands_healy]

OK venting alert!!!! And I need some advice!!!!

OK, so those of you who have been around the Gundi thread for awhile, remember how I didn't want to do Lindsey and Brad's engagement photos, but she really wanted me to and begged me to even tho I told her I wasn't ready for that? Remember how nervous I was about taking them. OK, so then remember how we found out that her friend was going to just take "some shots for fun" of Lindsey & Brad the weekend before, but we were told that my photos were going to be the "official" engagement photos? OK, so then remember how I took all those photos and did DAYS AND DAYS worth of post processing on them so they would look as good as I could possibly get them to look? OK, so then remember when my photos were never used for any engagement photo and her friend's "just for fun" photo was chosen for the Save the Date cards? So then I was embarassed and hurt that none of the photos I took and worked on so hard were chosen for the Save the Date. So that was months and months ago, and I just wanted to forget about it all and have only scrapped a few of those photos.

Well guess what? You'll never IN A MILLION YEARS guess what, so I'll just tell you. I got a text message today from Lindsey with a photo on it. It was a text of one of the photos I took of them that day. In the photo, my photo was hung on a wall in a black frame. Lindsey said had Brad had submitted my photo and it had won a contest and was now hanging on a wall in the San Antonio courthouse! I was so excited! She went on to say that about 300 were submitted and only about 50 were chosen to be displayed on the walls of the courthouse! I was getting even more excited! On my phone, I enlarged the text of the photo of my photo and I realized there was a placard on the frame and it had someone's name on it. I asked Lindsey who was the person who's name was on the frame. She told me it was a friend of Brad's and that it wasactually this friend who had submitted my photo. Apparently he told Brad he needed a "really high quality" photo to submit, so Brad had given him that photo and he submitted it. She then texted that she guessed since he submitted it, he got credit for it. I asked her if it was a photography contest, and she didn't answer me back then. Later I got a text from her saying she had asked Brad about the contest and the text said "It was a new courthouse with no decor, so they let the employees submit options."

So here's a copy of the photo in the text. It's a photo of MY photo hanging on the wall in a frame with someone else's name on it. Don't you think when people see the photo in the courthouse, they think he took it because it has his name on it? What should I say/do? I know it's not a copyrighted photo, but seriously, I feel like someone is getting/taking credit for my photo. But I feel like if I say anything about it, that opens up a whole can of worms with Lindsey, Brad and Brad's best man at the wedding!

Oh my freaking gosh Rene!!! How dare he share your photo with someone else anyway! I would be just livid! The fact that you took the photo makes it copyrighted! I know you don't want to unsettle things for the wedding, but boy I would find a way to let him know.

[>>aruaL<<]

Rene, I totally understand why you feel the way you do.... but, I have another thought, playing devils advocate here....

Is it possible that it was all really innocent? I mean, maybe he doesn't (just as Lindsey doesn't) realize he can't just use a photo and submit to a contest, have it recolored, matted and hung on the wall. Also, maybe HE didn't actually take the credit for the photo, maybe the person in charge of this shindig never asked all of the people "who OWNS this photo?".... maybe he/she just was stupid and assumed, and put the submitting persons name on it. I bet there are others hanging next to it, with the same 'issue' going on. Maybe the friend didn't actually want/take credit for it.... he submitted it, THEY assumed and THEY put his name.... maybe?

Also, on Lindsey giving him a photo to start with..... I don't think people think twice about it, that is to mean, people who don't know better... people who are not into photography/art/etc they don't know they really shouldn't just pass around a photo that they didn't take. I am no photographer by any means, but I happened to get a reallllly cool shot of my nephew. I emailed it to my sister in law with a message that just simply said "thought you'd like to see this photo, it's from Christmas at mom's house, he looks adorable!" and next thing I know, 2 days later, a mass email came from her to everyone in her family (and our family as well) showing off this pic that simply said "here is a photo that was taken at Grandma W's house on Christmas". Everyone told her how adorable and cool the photo was and all she said was "thank you" her mom asked if she could get the original file so that she could have it printed and hung in the hallway with the other grandkids photos... I'm not mad though, cause I know her, and I know she's not a thief (even though I don't really like her much at all) and I know that she didn't do any of it to be a thief, to be vindictive or to claim it as hers. It was just something she's not wise about and she didn't think about. People pass pictures around all the time, and she just is one of those people.. simply because she just doesn't know better.

So I guess what I'm saying is, don't get too angry over it... yet.... talk to them and find out what the intentions were, how it all really went down, and THEN decide how you want to feel about it. My gut just tells me that it wasn't done maliciously at all.

And if it WAS done maliciously, then they better be able to run fast, cause I have a feeling they in for a butt-whoopin!!! heheheeh :-)

[debilou]

I bet we haven't heard the end of this story.........

[Christine]

so Debi where are you getting your info? I tried to go to the copyright division of the government and couldn't find anything specifically. When google I get different non-government groups that want to "do the work for you". I think we need something like New Zealand, Lauren gave me this link:

http://www.copyright.org.nz/viewInfosheet.php?sheet=340

How simple is that?!

[Christine]

oh I just found some more info from the US Copyright Office, Copyright Basics: http://www.copyright.gov/circs/circ1.pdf

How to Secure a Copyright
Copyright Secured Automatically upon Creation
The way in which copyright protection is secured is frequently
misunderstood. No publication or registration or other action
in the Copyright Office is required to secure copyright.

So the way I am reading this, it is copyrighted upon creation period, you do not have to put the c on it or register it etc, but doing these things, increases your ability to prove things in court if need be

[GrandmaCrys]

I think Laura has a point, Rene. Before getting up and arms, just have *the conversation* about the sequence of events. Good luck, Friend. You know we're behind you all the way. (And you really need to get this issue cleared up before the wedding.)

[GrandmaCrys]

Good job, Super Sleuth Gundi! :D

[stitchmich]

Good thoughts, Laura. Always good to check our emotions and make sure you have the full story.

[debilou]

oh I just found some more info from the US Copyright Office, Copyright Basics: http://www.copyright.gov/circs/circ1.pdf

How to Secure a Copyright
Copyright Secured Automatically upon Creation
The way in which copyright protection is secured is frequently
misunderstood. No publication or registration or other action
in the Copyright Office is required to secure copyright.

So the way I am reading this, it is copyrighted upon creation period, you do not have to put the c on it or register it etc, but doing these things, increases your ability to prove things in court if need be

I took a class by a copyright lawyer who specializes in art and photographic works.

[debilou]

oh I just found some more info from the US Copyright Office, Copyright Basics: http://www.copyright.gov/circs/circ1.pdf

How to Secure a Copyright
Copyright Secured Automatically upon Creation
The way in which copyright protection is secured is frequently
misunderstood. No publication or registration or other action
in the Copyright Office is required to secure copyright.

So the way I am reading this, it is copyrighted upon creation period, you do not have to put the c on it or register it etc, but doing these things, increases your ability to prove things in court if need be

but here is the rest of it Christine.. i won't argue the point.. but a copyright is the only way to protect photos, works of art, songs, etc..

When is my work protected?
Your work is under copyright protection the moment it is created and fixed in a tangible form that it is perceptible either directly or with the aid of a machine or device.

Do I have to register with your office to be protected?
No. In general, registration is voluntary. Copyright exists from the moment the work is created. You will have to register, however, if you wish to bring a lawsuit for infringement of a U.S. work. See Circular 1, Copyright Basics, section “Copyright Registration.”

Why should I register my work if copyright protection is automatic?
Registration is recommended for a number of reasons. Many choose to register their works because they wish to have the facts of their copyright on the public record and have a certificate of registration. Registered works may be eligible for statutory damages and attorney's fees in successful litigation. Finally, if registration occurs within 5 years of publication, it is considered prima facie evidence in a court of law. See Circular 1, Copyright Basics, section “Copyright Registration” and Circular 38b, Highlights of Copyright Amendments Contained in the Uruguay Round Agreements Act (URAA), on non-U.S. works.

I’ve heard about a “poor man’s copyright.” What is it?
The practice of sending a copy of your own work to yourself is sometimes called a “poor man’s copyright.” There is no provision in the copyright law regarding any such type of protection, and it is not a substitute for registration.



That's why DSP attaches a TOU to every single kit or element they say, and, if you read it carefully, they talk about the copyright issues.. they don't just send us one once a year or so.. they send with every kit, every freebie, every single item..

[Christine]

yeah I guess the issue for most of us, like on photography etc is even if you do get an official copyright, the expense of litigation etc etc would outweigh the benefits and ultimately it is no different than stealing a car. Do people do it? yes Is it right? no Does having a title prevent your car from being stolen? no You still have to find it, prove it is yours, get the law involved, so ultimately we rely on the honesty of our society and the fact that legitimate businesses don't want the bad publicity of doing something shady. Hence the reason Sam's gives me such crap about printing my photos w/o a photographers release. LOL

[debilou]

Christine, I'm with you. most people I feel are honest. I'd like to think so at least. But, I have had photos stolen off of flickr.. before i started water marking them right across the center with a shadow of copyright symbol Debi Anderson photography.

oh, now they ask, may i use your photo please.. and, i can decide.. BECAUSE THEY CAN"T USE THE PHOTO without me removing the silly thing..

it's happened twice before i had to go thru and, batch process all my darn flckr photos that i cared about..

Now I've actually sold 4 photos.. because why they have to ask.. very nicely.

[Christine]

Christine, I'm with you. most people I feel are honest. I'd like to think so at least. But, I have had photos stolen off of flickr.. before i started water marking them right across the center with a shadow of copyright symbol Debi Anderson photography.

oh, now they ask, may i use your photo please.. and, i can decide.. BECAUSE THEY CAN"T USE THE PHOTO without me removing the silly thing..

it's happened twice before i had to go thru and, batch process all my darn flckr photos that i cared about..

Now I've actually sold 4 photos.. because why they have to ask.. very nicely.

so do you actually register w/ the copyright office etc?

[Christine]

and wahoo for you that you have sold some!

[ReneT]

I am so outraged that I may fly down to Texas, visit that courthouse and remove it from the wall myself! I know that some people don't get the concept of a person's photo being their artwork or property. Some people think it's just a picture. BUT I do not understand how anyone could have a photo that is not theirs hanging on a wall with their name on it... in a courthouse no less! That should be blatantly obviously wrong. I think Gary has to step in on this one.

Ask them this... if Rene painted a picture would you sign your name on it and hang it on the wall? Would you put your name on one of her scrapbook pages and send it to a contest with your name on it? Her photograph is equally her art. It's wonderful that it's hanging in the courthouse, but surely you understand it should have her name on it.

The thing is I don't think Rene actually wants to file a suit etc, or any sort of payment, she just wants credit for her work. I would think that the courthouse, would not want any sort of bad publicity for using stolen work and really I would hope that the guy in question would not be such a jerk that he would make it a battle. Common decency says you don't take another's work and claim it as your own. Hopefully it is one of those deals where he just didn't think and will do the right thing and give Rene credit.

Oh my freaking gosh Rene!!! How dare he share your photo with someone else anyway! I would be just livid! The fact that you took the photo makes it copyrighted! I know you don't want to unsettle things for the wedding, but boy I would find a way to let him know.

Rene, I totally understand why you feel the way you do.... but, I have another thought, playing devils advocate here....

Is it possible that it was all really innocent? I mean, maybe he doesn't (just as Lindsey doesn't) realize he can't just use a photo and submit to a contest, have it recolored, matted and hung on the wall. Also, maybe HE didn't actually take the credit for the photo, maybe the person in charge of this shindig never asked all of the people "who OWNS this photo?".... maybe he/she just was stupid and assumed, and put the submitting persons name on it. I bet there are others hanging next to it, with the same 'issue' going on. Maybe the friend didn't actually want/take credit for it.... he submitted it, THEY assumed and THEY put his name.... maybe?

Also, on Lindsey giving him a photo to start with..... I don't think people think twice about it, that is to mean, people who don't know better... people who are not into photography/art/etc they don't know they really shouldn't just pass around a photo that they didn't take. I am no photographer by any means, but I happened to get a reallllly cool shot of my nephew. I emailed it to my sister in law with a message that just simply said "thought you'd like to see this photo, it's from Christmas at mom's house, he looks adorable!" and next thing I know, 2 days later, a mass email came from her to everyone in her family (and our family as well) showing off this pic that simply said "here is a photo that was taken at Grandma W's house on Christmas". Everyone told her how adorable and cool the photo was and all she said was "thank you" her mom asked if she could get the original file so that she could have it printed and hung in the hallway with the other grandkids photos... I'm not mad though, cause I know her, and I know she's not a thief (even though I don't really like her much at all) and I know that she didn't do any of it to be a thief, to be vindictive or to claim it as hers. It was just something she's not wise about and she didn't think about. People pass pictures around all the time, and she just is one of those people.. simply because she just doesn't know better.

So I guess what I'm saying is, don't get too angry over it... yet.... talk to them and find out what the intentions were, how it all really went down, and THEN decide how you want to feel about it. My gut just tells me that it wasn't done maliciously at all.

And if it WAS done maliciously, then they better be able to run fast, cause I have a feeling they in for a butt-whoopin!!! heheheeh :-)

Hey guys! Thanks for everyone's support! I have not said anything to Lindsey yet, via replying to the last text she sent me about it. I got a FB message from her last night regarding some wedding issues, and it was clear to me in reading the tone of her message that she has no clue I am even upset about anything, which tells me that at least as the far as the 2 of them go, nothing was intentional or malicious. I don't think they thought twice about giving the photo to him to submit for a contest. They probably just thought "cool, a photo of us is on display at the SA courthouse!". But at the same time, once the wedding is over and a certain amount of time has passed, the photographer we hired for the wedding is going to give Lindsey a CD of medium resolution images of the wedding. Do you think they would ever consider giving that CD to someone to enter one of those photos in a contest? NO! They would know it was illegal.

My problem is just like Chris said, I want credit for that photo. It's like it's suddenly gone from photos that were not good enough for them to use for their engagement photos, to a photo that is being looked at by lots of people every day and that someone actually liked enough to have it being in one of the winning photos to display. As time passes, it is feeling increasingly weirder and weirder to me that someone I don't know, took my photo, made some changes to it, had it printed out in whatever size that is, had it framed and matted, and it is now hanging in a courthouse 600 miles from my house with someone else's name on it! He is obviously getting and TAKING credit for my work! And what happens to that photo when the contest is over? If what Lindsey says is true, that it is now permanent art for the "new courthouse", then it stays on the wall for years with his name on it?

Can you guys tell from the photo, if his name is on a sticker on the glass of the photo, or if it is actually inside the frame, inside a cut in the mat? I can't tell for sure.

I just don't know what to do, but I do know I will say something about it and let them know that it is not right for him to be taking credit for my photo and that I am not happy about it. I just have to figure out how to say that in a way that will not make anyone angry or defensive right before the wedding.

[addielee]

Oh gosh Rene! I don't know what i'd do. I do know that it's not right and that it needs to be righted, but how, I don't know. :hug:

[ReneT]

yeah I guess the issue for most of us, like on photography etc is even if you do get an official copyright, the expense of litigation etc etc would outweigh the benefits and ultimately it is no different than stealing a car. Do people do it? yes Is it right? no Does having a title prevent your car from being stolen? no You still have to find it, prove it is yours, get the law involved, so ultimately we rely on the honesty of our society and the fact that legitimate businesses don't want the bad publicity of doing something shady. Hence the reason Sam's gives me such crap about printing my photos w/o a photographers release. LOL

I know! I've had to sign papers at Sams too one time saying I took the photos before they would give them to me! I wonder if this guy had to sign something when he had it printed or when he handed it over to the courthouse for them to display? Gary thinks I should call the courthouse and find out as much as I can about the contest, artwork, what happens to the photos, how long they will be displayed, etc.

[>>aruaL<<]

I know! I've had to sign papers at Sams too one time saying I took the photos before they would give them to me! I wonder if this guy had to sign something when he had it printed or when he handed it over to the courthouse for them to display? Gary thinks I should call the courthouse and find out as much as I can about the contest, artwork, what happens to the photos, how long they will be displayed, etc.


Thats what I would do.

[>>aruaL<<]

I can't tell either, Rene, if it's a sticker on the glass or if it's inside the matting... hmm

[Christine]

if it is inside the glass I want to know who picked that stupid spot. LOL

[debilou]

and wahoo for you that you have sold some!

Thank you on the sale part

Do i register, well, not yet.. but i told the people i sold the photos too that they were registered with the copyright office of course - ok, a white lie

my biggest project is to register the 300 - soon to be 500 early 1900 reproductions that i have done for my daddy.

If I don't copyright them, they will become public domain. After I took the copyright class at NAPP, the lawyer who gave the class kindly gave me about 45 minutes of his personal time telling me the exact way to copyright these older photos.. Because his class was of course geared toward new photos..

He's a great guy..

so, those are the ones i'm most concerned with to tell you the truth. They took longer for me to deal with - than the photos i'm asked to take of my neighbors, their dogs, or their grand kids.

[ReneT]

Thank you on the sale part

Do i register, well, not yet.. but i told the people i sold the photos too that they were registered with the copyright office of course - ok, a white lie

my biggest project is to register the 300 - soon to be 500 early 1900 reproductions that i have done for my daddy.

If I don't copyright them, they will become public domain. After I took the copyright class at NAPP, the lawyer who gave the class kindly gave me about 45 minutes of his personal time telling me the exact way to copyright these older photos.. Because his class was of course geared toward new photos..

He's a great guy..

so, those are the ones i'm most concerned with to tell you the truth. They took longer for me to deal with - than the photos i'm asked to take of my neighbors, their dogs, or their grand kids.

That was nice of him to do that. As much work as you've done with all those photos, I know you want to make sure they are protected. :yes:

[ReneT]

if it is inside the glass I want to know who picked that stupid spot. LOL

Yeah, no kidding! :rofl:

[Maggie Macpaine]

Very tricky waters to navigate. I pray God will grant you wisdom. I'd take the weenie way out like Crys [but that's just cause I'm a weenie pirate--I'm sure I'd seeth some and never give them a picture again (at least not one without my name emblazoned on it)]

[ReneT]

I talked to Gary about it again this evening. I could tell by what he was saying that he doesn't want me to say or do anything about it. I wrote down what I wanted to say and read it to him, but he says that once I say ANYTHING that Lindsey, Brad and the best man (A.K.A. Stealer of My Photo) :D are going to get upset and defensive, no matter what I say, then that won't be good for the wedding etc.

He's going to call the courthouse tomorrow and see if he can find out some information about the contest in general, but not say anything specific about the photo. I told him the main things I wanted to know are:
1)What was the contest? Was it a contest to have employees' personal art displayed in the courthouse? (I do know it must have been a photography contest because Lindsey said Lance had told Brad "It had to be a pic with really high quality").
2) Did the people who submitted have to sign anything saying it was their artwork or they had permission to use it, or giving the courthouse permission to display it?
3) Did the employee submit digital files or printed photographs? Were the photographs framed by the courthouse or the person who submitted the photo?
4) How long will they be displayed and what will happen to them when they are removed?

So maybe he can find out something tomorrow. He has worked with that county's appraisal district for years, so he thinks he can find out something.

[ReneT]

OK, so enough of my whining about my photo.

Did everyone have a good Valentine's Day?

Laura, how was your Vegas trip?

[bendipez]

Okay, gonna barge in here with a question that needs Christine's expertise!!!
Am taking 500mg amoxicillin 3x a day. To keep my system in check wanted to take some probiotics. What should i look for? Is there a difference between refridgerated and non refridgerated?? What is a good amount of live cultures?? Does the price matter? And aside from price any difference between buying from Whole Foods or Target or CVS or even GNC????

[Maggie Macpaine]

I had a dream..........

In this dream my family and I were sight seeing in Chicago. We stopped at some restaurant for dinner. As we are waiting on our food, the big table near us began filling up with people. It turns out the people were designers and program planners for DSP. It was the yearly planning meeting. After that, the dream morphed into an issue using the lovely airport scanners to get on an AMTRAK train.

[debilou]

OK, so enough of my whining about my photo.

Did everyone have a good Valentine's Day?

Laura, how was your Vegas trip?

I had a wonderful valentine's day.. I hope everyone had a great day...

And, today off to a BD lunch for my niece Janece-y - I'm so glad she moved close to us.. she is just the most delightful person to be around..... she just brightens up everyone's day..

So, we should have a fun ladies lunch... so off to get ready.. oh and, buy a present.. I've only had 3 months to do it.. I have given her some family (Keith's side) heirloom photos, but I haven't finished any more.. so, I'll give those to her another time..

But, she's trying really hard to buy a new home.. so, I know just the thing to get her.. so, off - to have fun.. bye for a while.

[>>aruaL<<]

Rene, I don't know if I could do the controntation before the wedding, I'd be worried I'd really create some ugliness that would drag over to the wedding day.... well, the SOMP really is the one who may have created it, but you know what I mean.. so I understand how Gary might be wishing for you not to. I hope your able to resolve it at some point though.

The concert was absolutely fantastic, it was just over 4 1/2 hours long! Vegas? Eh, I can do without Vegas. I don't like Vegas at all. Never really have. It's just not my cup o' tea.
But I did enjoy the concert a ton. I will return to the MGM Grand's Garden Arena for more concerts, fantastic place.

[ReneT]

I had a dream..........

In this dream my family and I were sight seeing in Chicago. We stopped at some restaurant for dinner. As we are waiting on our food, the big table near us began filling up with people. It turns out the people were designers and program planners for DSP. It was the yearly planning meeting. After that, the dream morphed into an issue using the lovely airport scanners to get on an AMTRAK train.


How funny. Don't you sometimes wonder why you dream what you dream?

And, today off to a BD lunch for my niece Janece-y - I'm so glad she moved close to us.. she is just the most delightful person to be around..... she just brightens up everyone's day..

So, we should have a fun ladies lunch... so off to get ready.. oh and, buy a present.. I've only had 3 months to do it.. I have given her some family (Keith's side) heirloom photos, but I haven't finished any more.. so, I'll give those to her another time..

But, she's trying really hard to buy a new home.. so, I know just the thing to get her.. so, off - to have fun.. bye for a while.

Have a fun girls day out!!!

Rene, I don't know if I could do the controntation before the wedding, I'd be worried I'd really create some ugliness that would drag over to the wedding day.... well, the SOMP really is the one who may have created it, but you know what I mean.. so I understand how Gary might be wishing for you not to. I hope your able to resolve it at some point though.

The concert was absolutely fantastic, it was just over 4 1/2 hours long! Vegas? Eh, I can do without Vegas. I don't like Vegas at all. Never really have. It's just not my cup o' tea.
But I did enjoy the concert a ton. I will return to the MGM Grand's Garden Arena for more concerts, fantastic place.

You're probably right, and that's probably what we will do. :rolleyes:

Wow! 4 1/2 hour concert! That's a long time to sit and a long time to sing! Glad you enjoyed it!!!

[>>aruaL<<]

How funny. Don't you sometimes wonder why you dream what you dream?



Have a fun girls day out!!!



You're probably right, and that's probably what we will do. :rolleyes:

Wow! 4 1/2 hour concert! That's a long time to sit and a long time to sing! Glad you enjoyed it!!!

It was fun. It was Reba, George and Leanne... and a short appearance from Leanne's daughter and god-daughter, and Reba also in addition to singing, did a super funny skit with another gal (I just remember her name is Melissa... don't have a clue who she is... lol) and it was hysterically funny, loved it. George sang for just over 2 hours himself.... by the end of the entire 4 1/2 hours, my butt and back were killin me!!! :rofl: And then we walked back to our hotel, and seen some extremely trashy women, and equally trashy men, yuk! I have been to Vegas a million times, and yet everytime it's shocking to me.

[ReneT]

It was fun. It was Reba, George and Leanne... and a short appearance from Leanne's daughter and god-daughter, and Reba also in addition to singing, did a super funny skit with another gal (I just remember her name is Melissa... don't have a clue who she is... lol) and it was hysterically funny, loved it. George sang for just over 2 hours himself.... by the end of the entire 4 1/2 hours, my butt and back were killin me!!! :rofl: And then we walked back to our hotel, and seen some extremely trashy women, and equally trashy men, yuk! I have been to Vegas a million times, and yet everytime it's shocking to me.

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

[GrandmaCrys]

How fun.. and I bet, just a bet, you have photos... can't wait to see them..

:no: :no: :no: Never even took it out of the bag! :eek: :eek:



I had a dream..........

In this dream my family and I were sight seeing in Chicago. We stopped at some restaurant for dinner. As we are waiting on our food, the big table near us began filling up with people. It turns out the people were designers and program planners for DSP. It was the yearly planning meeting. After that, the dream morphed into an issue using the lovely airport scanners to get on an AMTRAK train.

Welcome to my world; I have crazy dreams like that ALL the time. :annoyed: :annoyed:

Laura, could it have been Melissa Peterman? The blond girl that was on the Reba TV show with her?

[>>aruaL<<]

:no: :no: :no: Never even took it out of the bag! :eek: :eek:





Welcome to my world; I have crazy dreams like that ALL the time. :annoyed: :annoyed:

Laura, could it have been Melissa Peterman? The blond girl that was on the Reba TV show with her?

Yes! That's exactly who it was! She was sooo funny in that skit with Reba....

[Maggie Macpaine]

BTW. My EHD was found today. My youngest found it in the toy box. Now.....just how did it get into the toy box????

[GrandmaCrys]

BTW. My EHD was found today. My youngest found it in the toy box. Now.....just how did it get into the toy box????

OMG! Whatever was it doing in there and does it still work?

[Christine]

Okay, gonna barge in here with a question that needs Christine's expertise!!!
Am taking 500mg amoxicillin 3x a day. To keep my system in check wanted to take some probiotics. What should i look for? Is there a difference between refridgerated and non refridgerated?? What is a good amount of live cultures?? Does the price matter? And aside from price any difference between buying from Whole Foods or Target or CVS or even GNC????

amoxicillin isn't a terribly bad antibiotic for killing off the good bacteria, so personally I would just do yogurt w/ live cultures, which most of them are. ie. dannon, yoplait, etc. It usually says so on the label. hmmm on the non refrigerated ones. I don't think we have those. I typically sell lactinex from the pharmacy. All of those probiotics are considered "foods" not drugs, so we don't get much literature on them and as far as which store, shouldn't matter which one, the more important thing is to look at the company. There's a lot less regulation regarding "foods" than "drugs" so a reputable company is more likely to have a good product. All that being said, I would still recommend yogurt w/ live cultures first, due to the expense, unless you know that you have had issues in the past that the yogurt didn't take care of. and then I would probably recommend lactinex, although we have had some good lactobacillus generic products recently, they just haven't been tried as much

[Christine]

OMG! Whatever was it doing in there and does it still work?

I thought does it work, right off too! :rofl:

[ReneT]

BTW. My EHD was found today. My youngest found it in the toy box. Now.....just how did it get into the toy box????

I bet this is what happened to it. The gremlins put it there!

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_NOI-A77oPIM/S1iHtNDuDbI/AAAAAAAAA08/ez9YSQZiBWI/s400/Computer%252BGremlins.JPG

[Christine]

So Rene, how much longer until the wedding? I don't want to cause problems, but it kinda irks me that it is ok for YOU to be upset for the wedding, especially if a simple conversation would fix it.

[ReneT]

So Rene, how much longer until the wedding? I don't want to cause problems, but it kinda irks me that it is ok for YOU to be upset for the wedding, especially if a simple conversation would fix it.

The wedding is April 16th. Bridal shower is Feb 26th.

Gary called his friend at the appraisal district today, but she didn't know anyone over there who could answer any questions, but based on what the text said about a "new courthouse" I think I have figured out which building it has to be, which is the same one this guy would be working in - kind of an annex of the courthouse. So I'm gonna call their main # tomorrow and see if I can find out any info about the contest itself. I think if I can figure out if the contest was a "submit your own photos" kinda thing, then I can safely assume he's passing off my photo as one he took, instead of just submitting a photo, any photo. Then I think Gary is going to call Brad and just tell him that it's wrong for his friend to being taking/getting the credit for my photo. But I'm not sure about that part. We've been back and forth over and over trying to decide what and when to say something. :( Why are things so difficult? Being a stepfamily thing I think is what makes this so hard. If it were just my child, I would be OK with handling it immediately.

[Christine]

ok but regardless if you are the mother or step mother or some random stranger off the street, it is still not right and at some point the girls need to grow up and recognize you for the awesome person you are, not expect you to walk around on eggshells, trying not to cause issues in their world, but not caring about any ripples they are causing in YOURS. I hope I am not making things worse and if I am please ignore :)

[PQ]

amoxicillin isn't a terribly bad antibiotic for killing off the good bacteria, so personally I would just do yogurt w/ live cultures, which most of them are. ie. dannon, yoplait, etc. It usually says so on the label. hmmm on the non refrigerated ones. I don't think we have those. I typically sell lactinex from the pharmacy. All of those probiotics are considered "foods" not drugs, so we don't get much literature on them and as far as which store, shouldn't matter which one, the more important thing is to look at the company. There's a lot less regulation regarding "foods" than "drugs" so a reputable company is more likely to have a good product. All that being said, I would still recommend yogurt w/ live cultures first, due to the expense, unless you know that you have had issues in the past that the yogurt didn't take care of. and then I would probably recommend lactinex, although we have had some good lactobacillus generic products recently, they just haven't been tried as much
I cannot believe this....there is something that I could have been taking prophylactic-ally???? Between the remicade and the methotrexate, I can LOOK AT an antibiotic and get a yeast infection that runs the entire length of my GI tract...IT IS SO PAINFUL. How come physicians don't know about lactinex? Is it some kind of well guarded secret? I don't know whether I should be thrilled to know about this....or angry because nobody has ever told me about it before.

[bendipez]

Thanks Christine!!!
Stopped at our local Safeway and got some activia and the danon liquid probioticy stuff.
Although looking at the labels there was a lotta sugars etc.!! Gonna go to whole foods tomorrow for a better selection!!!

[ReneT]

ok but regardless if you are the mother or step mother or some random stranger off the street, it is still not right and at some point the girls need to grow up and recognize you for the awesome person you are, not expect you to walk around on eggshells, trying not to cause issues in their world, but not caring about any ripples they are causing in YOURS. I hope I am not making things worse and if I am please ignore :)

No, you are not making things worse. I know you're right. Last night I was so upset about it, that I used "Notes" on my iPhone to type out what I wanted to say. I read it to Gary and he said "no matter what you say, or how you say it, it's gonna upset people", which is his way of saying "I really wish you wouldn't". It's very hard to be married to an avoid-conflict-at-all-costs kinda guy, when that is not who I am. And I think I've said this before to you guys that all the hurt and humiliation that originally went along with these photos is all tied up in this issue too, so I know if I ever actually sit down and have a conversation with either of them about it, all that will come out too. So I think he's afraid that by the time I'm done, it will be a huge mess. :rolleyes:

And while I'm venting, I think I'll just keep venting. :D As you know, we have paid for this entire wedding, except for the cake and dress, which her mother paid for. By the time it's done, the dress & the cake will be about 1/10th of the amount we have paid. Which is fine, we told Lindsey we would pay for the wedding, BUT I've done every bit of the work all by myself. I wanted to be involved, not just write checks, but I didn't really think I'd be stuck doing everything myself. Monday I spent 3 hours on the phone calling hotels in town to get rates for a block of rooms for out of town family & friends. Then today, I spent another hour, finalizing the plans with the hotel they decided on. The invitations were mailed to my house. I sent her a message telling her they had arrived, thinking she would offer to stuff them when she came into town for her shower, but she said she wants to go by what the lady who she ordered them from told her, and send them out 8 weeks before the wedding, which is a week BEFORE the shower. Naturally. She said "I'm sure it won't take you long to do those." Seriously? So Gary and I literally spent about 5 hours total stuffing envelopes, making sure each piece (RSVP, RSVP envelope, invitation) was placed in the smaller envelope and then the larger envelope in the order that the paper that came with them said they were supposed to be, licking 200 envelopes, applying stamps to both invitation and RSVP envelope, etc.

Then, and this one takes the cake, I sent her an email Monday with all the info on it for the hotels so they could decide which one they wanted to use based on the price friends and family will have to pay for the rooms and also based on what the hotel was offering the 2 of them on the night of their wedding. She sends me back an email that basically says if Gary and I are going to pay for the hotel room for her and Brad to stay in after the wedding, they will go with the more expensive nicer one, but if we aren't going to pay, they will stay at the cheaper one. I just found that to be very rude and ungrateful for all we have spent and done. I told her we would not pay for their hotel room after they are married. I'm sure she wasn't too impressed with that, but that's kinda part of the honeymoon, which is the groom's responsibility. His mother is paying for their honeymoon - to Aruba!!!! Who gets to go to Aruba when you're 24?

OK, I'm done now. I'm sure there's more somewhere inside me, but I'll shut up now. :D

[GrandmaCrys]

Rene, I feel you pain. All I can say is typically being a bride-to-be brings out the WORST in women. Is that right? :no: :no: :no: Is that true? :yes: :yes: :yes: BUT...also... in cases such as as these, ofttimes, the more you give, the more they expect. Seems these days there's not very much gratitude or respect left in this world.

And I know Gary's girls are wonderful, but children of divorced parents really do learn early on how to work all the angles, pit one against the other, and get the most bang for their buck. (Especially is there's an *avoid-conflict-at-all-costs* sort of person involved and an over-anxious and willing step-parent to kick around. :()

Now I'll shut up! ;)

[debilou]

It was fun. It was Reba, George and Leanne... and a short appearance from Leanne's daughter and god-daughter, and Reba also in addition to singing, did a super funny skit with another gal (I just remember her name is Melissa... don't have a clue who she is... lol) and it was hysterically funny, loved it. George sang for just over 2 hours himself.... by the end of the entire 4 1/2 hours, my butt and back were killin me!!! :rofl: And then we walked back to our hotel, and seen some extremely trashy women, and equally trashy men, yuk! I have been to Vegas a million times, and yet everytime it's shocking to me.

Glad you had a great time.. but, i'm shocked trashy men - women in Vegas.. shocking.. i've never seen that before.. :rolleyes:

[debilou]

BTW. My EHD was found today. My youngest found it in the toy box. Now.....just how did it get into the toy box????

Yeah, YIPPE... Didn't i mention, look in the toy box.. i thought i mentioned that...

Glad you found it..

[PQ]

OMGosh, I hope it is ok if I step in and make a comment here.....

At the end of Crys' post I literally said BINGO! out loud. Kids of divorced parents DEFINITELY learn to work the angles, and your step-daughter could teach advanced classes on the subject. Shame on her.

Gary should change his name to Doug....Doug would gnaw off his own right arm if it would allow him to dodge a confrontation....I know what a double edged sword it is to be married to a man who will avoid confrontation at all costs.

I am still ruminating over what I would do if it were my photo (with someone else's name on it) hanging on the wall in a public building.......I WOULD NOT be able to let that one go....there is too much of my life blood coursing through my photos to let someone else steal them....but that's just me....

BUT the wedding....the expense of the wedding.....the time spent working on the wedding...the lack of gratitude (but let's all remember that she is awfully young)...Maybe I would have to go on valium in addition to having my tongue amputated, but I wouldn't say a word....voicing that opinion would cause hard feelings and it might create a rift that could never be repaired....PLUS, if you said something, it wouldn't change a thing, so why open yourself up to that kind of drama?

Rene....we are leading somewhat parallel lives....I sent Shannon (oldest daughter who is getting married in May) a white topaz tennis bracelet ( it is gorgeous) with a note that said, "We wanted to buy you something beautiful to wear on your wedding day....we hope that you like this....we are looking forward to seeing our beautiful daughter walk down the isle.....). We also sent her money and EIGHT place settings of her fine china. Shannon called us when the bracelet arrived- not to say thank you - she called because she wanted the reciept for the bracelet so that she could return it and get the money. When Shannon asked if she could return the bracelet, I shook my head in disbelief and said in my cheeriest voice, "Absolutely." (My jaws were tight for three days after that conversation, but nothing that I could have said was going to instill gratitude in her, so why say anything at all.....)

BTW.....the groom's grandmother is sending Shannon and her groom to Aruba for their honeymoon.

[debilou]

The wedding is April 16th. Bridal shower is Feb 26th.

Gary called his friend at the appraisal district today, but she didn't know anyone over there who could answer any questions, but based on what the text said about a "new courthouse" I think I have figured out which building it has to be, which is the same one this guy would be working in - kind of an annex of the courthouse. So I'm gonna call their main # tomorrow and see if I can find out any info about the contest itself. I think if I can figure out if the contest was a "submit your own photos" kinda thing, then I can safely assume he's passing off my photo as one he took, instead of just submitting a photo, any photo. Then I think Gary is going to call Brad and just tell him that it's wrong for his friend to being taking/getting the credit for my photo. But I'm not sure about that part. We've been back and forth over and over trying to decide what and when to say something. :( Why are things so difficult? Being a stepfamily thing I think is what makes this so hard. If it were just my child, I would be OK with handling it immediately.


You know, I told my DH this story yesterday... and, then mentioned Laura's devil's advocate statement.. (and, your kids ages)...

And, I hate to say it but.. here is what he said - They actually PROBABLY think that by you giving them the photos - the photos were GIFTED to them... just like if you gave them a lamp or chair or whatever.. So, if for example you gave them a lamp. And, they no longer needed that lamp.. It would be ok - to give the lamp away to someone else - having no clue about the value of the lamp to you.

and, having no idea about copyrights or anything else..

We are so involved in scrap booking and, photography on a daily basis - we were all totally outraged.. and, we should be...

but, maybe they didn't have a clue as to what they really did.. and, how wrong it was..

does that the situation ok - NO! should they be talked to about it, he thought they should, so that they know

first how hurt you are, and, second, that what they did was so wrong, so, it never happens again...and, in the future, when you take family photos.. you need to tell them they are copyrighted photos.. (whether you really copyright them or not).

just thought you should have another opinion.

[debilou]

Ok, I've spent 2 full days, (minus a way fun lunch)... on taxes..

one more - maybe just a half a day.. and, I will be done.. done.. with taxes..

yippee.. done.. then I can scrap again.. see you later gators.

[>>aruaL<<]

I do for sure think they need a talkin' to about it... I think at this point, the dilemma for you is WHEN to do it. I personally just couldn't do it before the wedding... because for ME, I look at it like this: This photograph issue will be resolved one way or another and the dust will settle and all will be right in the world/family again, and it won't ever (hopefully) be thought of again once that happens. However, if it becomes ugly (in my family it would) and puts a cloud over the wedding, I'd feel awful because those memories will be with bride/groom FOREVER and I would hate to feel like I am remembered as the one who put a cloud over someones wedding day. I personally wouldn't be able to live with myself. Even though that would mean that I have to be the one who is hurt and having to wait it out, in order to resolve it after the wedding. It does stink having to be the hurt one, when you did nothing wrong at all and they are the ones who did, but... *if* you did it before the wedding and *if* it got ugly and *if* it put a dark cloud over the wedding, the shower and everything else leading up to that day... COULD you live with yourself knowing that you played a part in that dark cloud? I think if your answer is no... then you should think about waiting... if your answer is yes, then handle it today and get rid of the hurt sooner rather than later, no reason to waste away days on it if your okay with handling it now.

I also don't think it has anything to do with step/bio children either. I think you'd have this same dilemma either way, it's just how us mom's are.

*hugs* for you Rene!

[>>aruaL<<]

Wow... all these ungrateful children that the world is full of today. I think todays kids feel they are ENTITLED to whatever they want and whenever they want it. It's kinda scary to think about what will all of our grandchildren be like if this is how our children are acting!
YIKES!!

My best friend went through the whole wedding fiasco with her son and his bride last year (they got married in October) and oh my gosh, I pray my kids never marry. I wouldn't have ever even thought of acting the way all these kids are, when I was planning my wedding. My parents woulda told me to find the nearest bridge and JUMP!

ahahahaha... :-)

[PQ]

You know, I told my DH this story yesterday... and, then mentioned Laura's devil's advocate statement.. (and, your kids ages)...

And, I hate to say it but.. here is what he said - They actually PROBABLY think that by you giving them the photos - the photos were GIFTED to them... just like if you gave them a lamp or chair or whatever.. So, if for example you gave them a lamp. And, they no longer needed that lamp.. It would be ok - to give the lamp away to someone else - having no clue about the value of the lamp to you.

and, having no idea about copyrights or anything else..

We are so involved in scrap booking and, photography on a daily basis - we were all totally outraged.. and, we should be...

but, maybe they didn't have a clue as to what they really did.. and, how wrong it was..

does that the situation ok - NO! should they be talked to about it, he thought they should, so that they know

first how hurt you are, and, second, that what they did was so wrong, so, it never happens again...and, in the future, when you take family photos.. you need to tell them they are copyrighted photos.. (whether you really copyright them or not).

just thought you should have another opinion.

OMGosh, this scerio never entered my mind....I'll bet that you are right...

[bendipez]

Okay , i'm gonna chime in here from a different angle. Lindsey may not have thought there was anything wrong with sharing a really cool picture, kinda like sharing a book.
However I am a little creeped out about the guy who is passing the picture off as his!!
Who in their right mind would use someone else's picture?? I'm thinking the focus is not on what the kids did but on what the person who is using the photo did!! He is the one who knows it is wrong and is implying the photo was done by him!!!

[>>aruaL<<]

But Brenda, we don't know just yet if he really IS passing it off as his own. We assume he is, but we don't know that for sure. Perhaps the person in charge of the contest just assumed it was his and put his name, without ever asking the contestants for info on the rightful owners. If he is passing it off as his own, he's a jerk.

[bendipez]

But Brenda, we don't know just yet if he really IS passing it off as his own. We assume he is, but we don't know that for sure. Perhaps the person in charge of the contest just assumed it was his and put his name, without ever asking the contestants for info on the rightful owners. If he is passing it off as his own, he's a jerk.

True that !!!

[ReneT]

I pretty much agree with almost everything you all are saying. I would never go into all the things I have felt about this wedding and the work I've put into it. It's what I signed up for, and I've actually had fun doing it. I wanted her to have the wedding of her dreams, and that's what I've tried to create. It's just the lack of gratefulness that bothers me so much. Sure, she will say thanks for doing this or that occasionally, but the comments like "here's my dress, you need to get it cleaned before the wedding. It got dirty during the bridal portraits" or "it won't take you long to stuff the invitations" or "I'll stay at the expensive hotel if you pay for it", kinda offsets the occasional thank you. Both of my stepdaughters are spoiled. Lindsey's worse than Emily. They've never known what it's like to be broke, not be able to afford whatever you want, not be given everything they ask for. Yes, they were raised in a single parent home, but when that single mom is paid $6000 tax free a month by us (their mom's payoff on what her 1/2 of Gary's business was worth at the time of the divorce), they have never lived like most children of single parents do. Their mom has never worked and lives in a very nice house and no worries at all, at least not financially. Any time something comes up that is not the usual, like prom, yearbooks, driver's ed, etc, we get a call asking us to pay for it because mom "can't afford it". She can, obviously, but she knows if she has the girls call their dad, he will feel bad and do it, because if he doesn't, she tells them he can afford it, he just doesn't want to spend it on them.

So bottom line is, I have no intention of saying anything about how I've felt through this wedding process. I agree that would cause long term damage, but the photo thing is a totally different thing in my opinion. I just can't decide like y'all have said if it's better to do it now, or wait 2 more months until after the wedding. I haven't slept (OK, I know that's not unusual, but still), I haven't eaten, I'm on the verge of tears. I just felt so humiliated when she didn't use any of the 100's of photos I took for her engagement Save the Dates like she said she would, then when I saw that someone actually did like one of my photos enough for it to win a contest and be displayed in the SA courthouse, I was so excited and felt better about my photos until I saw someone else was getting credit for it. It felt like someone had stuck a needle in my balloon. I really don't believe that Lindsey or Brad did anything on purpose or maliciously. I truly don't. I think they thought it was OK to give the photo to a friend for a contest, not knowing he might be trying to pass the photo off as his. But I just don't think I can let this lie. I just have to figure out when to say something.

I want to apologize to you guys for all these posts during the last 4 days about this situation. I know you've got to be tired of reading about it. And I know I'm probably repeating myself over and over, but it's just been a huge thing for me, and I know you guys will listen. Other than Gary, I don't really have anyone to talk to. None of my friends are really the kind of friends you tell the "ugly" stuff to. KWIM? So thanks again for being you. :love1:

[>>aruaL<<]

Rene, you can post another 4 days worth or 40 years worth and we'll be here to listen and help, even if it's just to assure you that your feelings are absolutely valid. Your absolutely stuck in a bad spot on this one, that is for sure. You'll get it all figured out though, I'm sure of that :-)

Tell Lindsey to .. uhh.. go stuff an envelope! hehe :-)

Kids can be ungrateful sometimes no matter what their financial upbringing is, I think it's not until they are full grown adults, living on their own, with their own children that they truly realize what brats they were as kids. I think it's just the way life goes, sadly. I know that I was a brat sometimes growing up and I didn't realize it til I grew up and had kids, and even now sometimes I still refuse to admit I was a brat at times ;-)

[ReneT]

Thanks Laura!

Well, I just spent about 30 minutes on the phone with the courthouse trying to find someone who knew something. Finally ended up with the DA's office which is where the guy works at that courthouse. It was not a courthouse-wide contest, it was only a DA thing. I found out that the employees were asked to submit their ORIGINAL photos that they took, using a Texas theme. Then someone judged the photos and decided on about 50 of the 300 that would be displayed. Those 50 photos are for sale!!!!! So now there is no doubt that we have to say something about it now, rather than later. He definitely passed off my photo as being a photo he took, and now it's for sale! So finally Gary got upset too knowing all this, so he is going to call Lindsey tonight and go from there - he will either talk to Brad about it or call his best man directly and that photo will either be removed from the DA's office, or I will be given credit for it. I think at this point, I just want it removed. Things will be interesting this evening!

[PQ]

Okay , i'm gonna chime in here from a different angle. Lindsey may not have thought there was anything wrong with sharing a really cool picture, kinda like sharing a book.
However I am a little creeped out about the guy who is passing the picture off as his!!
Who in their right mind would use someone else's picture?? I'm thinking the focus is not on what the kids did but on what the person who is using the photo did!! He is the one who knows it is wrong and is implying the photo was done by him!!!

Amen, Bendi. Amen.

[PQ]

http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee128/francornelius/guywhostolerenesphoto.jpg

[ReneT]

Thanks for the laugh PQ! That made me snort!!!! :rofl::rofl::rofl:

[GrandmaCrys]

Oh my, Rene, that newest twist definitely puts a nefarious air on the entire situation. So, either the Best Man is hearing-impaired, or he knowingly passed YOUR picture off as HIS OWN. This bitter pill should not be swallowed. ;)

Good luck.

[>>aruaL<<]

Ohhh yikes... yep, sounds like it must be handled now, with it being up for sale! Yikes!
Hey, go buy it! hehe :-)

I must say, cause I haven't yet... I reallly love that photo Rene, you did an absolutely beautiful job... it's such a cool photo!

[Maggie Macpaine]

Ouch. And he works at the DA office?!!!?

[ReneT]

Yeah, I can just see it now:

Me: Pardon me m'am, but I would like to purchase this photo.

M'am: Of course. Do you like this photographer's work?

Me: Actually yes I do. IT'S MY WORK!

M'am: Of no, you must be mistaken. Lance took this photo.

Me: I can assure you that he didn't.

M'am: I'm not sure who you think you are, but I have a signed paper that says Lance took this photo.

Me: I'll tell you who I think I am. I am the person who took this blankety-blank photo! So let me buy my own photo from you!


OK, can you tell I've been obsessing about this for 4 days now? :rofl::rofl:

[Maggie Macpaine]

On another note. My EHD seems to work. At least it says it's backing up. I hope I never need to find out.

Oh, and I just found out that D.A. Points (golf) 6th grade teacher was my 5th grade teacher. Does that make me famous by association??? He was an awesome teacher--BTW

[ReneT]

I must say, cause I haven't yet... I reallly love that photo Rene, you did an absolutely beautiful job... it's such a cool photo!

Thank you! It was one of my favorite too. Although I had run a vintage action on it that made it look kinda "westerny" due to Brad's jeans & boots. Apparently they like it better in black & white. But I'm not bitter. :lol::lol:

[ReneT]

On another note. My EHD seems to work. At least it says it's backing up. I hope I never need to find out.

Oh, and I just found out that D.A. Points (golf) 6th grade teacher was my 5th grade teacher. Does that make me famous by association??? He was an awesome teacher--BTW

How cool - on both accounts. Glad it's working. I think think that definitely makes you famous by association! :tup::tup: Maybe you can get tickets to the US Open? :lol:

[Maggie Macpaine]

Sure, I'll get right on that :D

[ReneT]

6:10 in the morning, and I haven't been to sleep. Ugh! I went to bed at 10:30 because I just felt so drained and tired, but then couldn't go to sleep, so finally got up at 1:00.

Looking forward to tomorrow (or today, I guess is what you call it). I'm having lunch with a friend of mine whom I haven't seen in awhile. She got engaged on Valentine's Day. Drew and her son used to go to school together and be great friends in elementary school. So that will be a nice break. Then I seriously need to start getting things together for our taxes. Ick!

So here's what happened tonight: Gary called Lindsey after she got off work and asked her what she knew about the photo situation, and then he said, "Then I'll tell you what I know." She said she didn't know anything about any of it until she got the text photo Monday that she sent to me. She said Brad had told her that night that his friend had asked if he had any photos that were a certain large file size, so he looked through what he had on his computer, and that was one of them, so he sent that one and several more, not thinking anything about it. So then Gary told her about the photos being for sale, how neither they nor the friend owned the rights to that photo, and that I was very excited initially to see the photo on display until I realized it had someone's name on it. So Gary asked her how she wanted him to handle it: she could talk to Brad and then Brad could talk to his friend, but whatever, Brad and friend needed to make it right. He let her know that he was extremely upset, so she was probably about to pass out, because he rarely ever gets upset with them.

Within a few minutes, Gary got a call from Brad. Gary said he almost had to laugh because Brad was talking 100 miles an hour, trying to explain that neither one of them meant anything malicious by it, that they didn't think it was a big deal, but that he and his friend were equally responsible and would figure out what to do to make it right. So he asked Gary if he could call me to talk to me about it.

Within a few minutes after that, I got a call from Brad, who was again talking 100 miles an hour, trying to explain how innocent he thought it was and how sorry he was. When he finally stopped talking long enough for me to say anything, I told him I thought he needed to know the back story so he would fully understand where I was coming from. So trying really hard not to burst into tears, I told him about how I felt about taking the photos in the first place, how hurt and embarrassed I was when they just pretty much discarded my photos after all my hard work and chose the other photo. I told him I understood different people have different tastes and that's fine, but that I felt at the very least they could have come to me ahead of time and explained that they weren't using any of my photos, just to give me a head's up so I would have understood, instead of trying to hide it from me. So I said, had it not been for all that stuff, this current thing would have made me angry, but would not have hurt me as well, so it was all like a snowball rolling downhill. He didn't know about any of that stuff. Lindsey never told him that she had told her dad that her friend's photos were just for fun and that they would be using mine. He was never in on the choosing of the photo. All of that was news to him. He said he understood how I felt and was glad we had talked about that because it obviously needed to be said. I told him the reason why I had never said anything is because I didn't want to appear to be whiney, the stepfamily situation, and also because I wanted Lindsey's wedding to be as perfect as we could make it for her, so I just sat on my feelings, but when the photos resurfaced again, it just all brought it right back. So he said he was in contact with his friend, who did admit that he signed the paper saying the photo was his, but he was going to try to fix the situation. I told him, what I wanted ultimately was for the card or whatever it is that has his name on it to say: Photo by Rene Tibbets, submitted by Lance A******. So I'm waiting to hear what happens next.

So overall I felt good about the conversation with Brad, and I am hoping he went to Lindsey tonight and told her all the things I had said. He also thanked me very sincerely for all the time, energy and money we had spent on this wedding. He says he couldn't imagine how much time I have spent on it all. I guess it was the first time I felt like anything I have done has even been recognized, other than the occasional "thanks" I get from Lindsey right before she asks for something else. And I don't want anyone to think I haven't enjoyed working on this wedding or anything like that, because I have loved it, it's just that it's nice for someone to acknowledge what you have done. Sometimes I just wonder does anyone realize that I am the STEPmother, not the MOTHER of the bride? Does anyone find that weird? I wouldn't want anyone planning my daughter's wedding but me if I had a birth daughter. I just simply can not imagine showing up to this wedding knowing all I really did was go sample cake flavors. But I guess that's just me.

Well I've gone on and on again. Sorry, I was typing and couldn't shut up! :D

[addielee]

It sounds like everyone kept their heads and handled it perfectly. Let's hope Lance does his part in it. I so appreciate that Gary stepped up to deal with Lindsey. That's what should happen in a step family. :hug: I hope you got some sleep.

[sands_healy]

I'm glad you talked about it Rene, and I'm hoping that the photo will eventually bear your name on it :hug:

[GrandmaCrys]

Rene, I am so proud of Gary and you!!! How wonderful to get this all out in the open, rather than keeping it all bottled up and allowing it to fester.

Make this a life lesson.

From reading your little journal (:rofl: :rofl:) I'm seeing a very positive reaction to what you had feared would be horrid. ;) So many times we *assume* what will happen and our minds have a way of building the *worse case scenarios*. Sounds like all parties involved were very adult-acting. I'm also hoping when Brad talks to Lindsey, she will see how important open communication is.

That you were able to have a discussion without erupting into a storm of tears is very impressive and something I could NOT do! ;)

We love you.

Now, after this, if you can't sleep, it's because you're just plain weird. :yikes: :yikes:

[ReneT]

Thanks for all your positive comments. I really appreciate you all helping me through all this and letting me talk it out. I know I can be long winded (longed type-ed?), but not only have you helped me, you've probably saved Gary from having to shoot himself from having to listen to me over and over. :rofl::rofl:

Oh, and Crys, I am just plain weird. I really want to go lay down right now, but gotta go do some bookkeeping then get ready for lunch with my friend and grocery shopping. Bleh!

But tonight's another night and hopefully I will sleep some.

I love you all too! You rock! :drumroll::drumroll:

[GrandmaCrys]

Thanks for all your positive comments. I really appreciate you all helping me through all this and letting me talk it out. I know I can be long winded (longed type-ed?), but not only have you helped me, you've probably saved Gary from having to shoot himself from having to listen to me over and over. :rofl::rofl:

Oh, and Crys, I am just plain weird. I really want to go lay down right now, but gotta go do some bookkeeping then get ready for lunch with my friend and grocery shopping. Bleh!

But tonight's another night and hopefully I will sleep some.

I love you all too! You rock! :drumroll::drumroll:

Oh, I knew that! ;) :D :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[ReneT]

Oh, I knew that! ;) :D :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Gary calls me fire & ice! Fine one minute, not easy to be around the next. (I'm pretty sure there's a layout in there somewhere. :D)

[Christine]

Rene so glad to hear that this is being handled in a mature and responsible matter on their part. and so much better that it can get solved and not be something that would just be eating at you during the whole wedding

[debilou]

I'm proud of you RENE!!

And, you didn't go on too long.. I'm so glad this issue was resolved way before the wedding...

[debilou]

Yay Yippee, Taxes done, filed... just some last minute clean up to do...
another year..done.

[PQ]

Rene, I just wanted to let you know that you are my hero. The older I get, the more I appreciate people who try very hard to be genuinely kind everyday. If Lindsey never wakes up and smells the coffee and realizes what an extraordinary woman you are, I want you to know that I do. You are truly phenomenal and I certainly do hope that I get to meet you in the flesh one day.

[Maggie Macpaine]

Yeah Renee!!!!

Ugh Taxes!!!


Grrrrr......you are not allowed to have finished your taxes before I begin mine Debi!!

[>>aruaL<<]

Awesome, Rene!

I also think the friend owes you an apology too. Ultimately he's the one who did the wrong. He signed the dang paper saying it was his!?? Ugh.

I bet Lindsey and Brad never ever hand out a photo to anyone again... lol! :-)

[debilou]

Yeah Renee!!!!

Ugh Taxes!!!


Grrrrr......you are not allowed to have finished your taxes before I begin mine Debi!!

Sorry, my pirate friend, I didn't know it was a race.. I spent 4 full days on doing nothing but the stupid taxes.. and, then the shred.. of all the junk i didn't need ...

and, then blah blah.. I hate taxes..

And, then my DH (I find out) - and, in this case the D does not equal DARLING - offered my tax service help to several others.... He knows nothing nada zilch about taxes..

and, I HATE doing them..

hey, they can go to several places around and get them done for free like the public library..

so, I gave him that info.. for them.. including the hours they are available..

Plus I don't want the responsibility, i'm not certified. I just do our own taxes.. so sorry my pirate friend..

I thought you'd be happy enough when I whispered to you - look in the toy box, look in the toy box.. but nope..

[Maggie Macpaine]

Haha...I don't even want you to do them. That would still require sifting and organization on my part. I just want them to go away. It won't happen though.

[debilou]

Haha...I don't even want you to do them. That would still require sifting and organization on my part. I just want them to go away. It won't happen though.

I have some tinkerbell glitter stickers, do you want me to send you one.. that will help I know it..

[addielee]

Good morning everyone! It's a long weekend here so we are just laying low. Might go to an RV show later and a little shopping, but otherwise, no plans. Hmmm, maybe some more scrapping!

[debilou]

Good morning everyone! It's a long weekend here so we are just laying low. Might go to an RV show later and a little shopping, but otherwise, no plans. Hmmm, maybe some more scrapping!

Oh, are you going to buy one.. how cool.. then you could come all the way to Texas.. way cool...

[>>aruaL<<]

I hate taxes... I hate it even more that Uncle Sam eats so much of our money. LOL!

[ReneT]

Rene so glad to hear that this is being handled in a mature and responsible matter on their part. and so much better that it can get solved and not be something that would just be eating at you during the whole wedding

I'm proud of you RENE!!

And, you didn't go on too long.. I'm so glad this issue was resolved way before the wedding...

Yeah Renee!!!!

Awesome, Rene!

I also think the friend owes you an apology too. Ultimately he's the one who did the wrong. He signed the dang paper saying it was his!?? Ugh.

I bet Lindsey and Brad never ever hand out a photo to anyone again... lol! :-)

Thanks everyone! :love1::love1::love1::love1:

Laura, that's what Gary said too, that he should apologize, but I don't see that happening.

[ReneT]

Rene, I just wanted to let you know that you are my hero. The older I get, the more I appreciate people who try very hard to be genuinely kind everyday. If Lindsey never wakes up and smells the coffee and realizes what an extraordinary woman you are, I want you to know that I do. You are truly phenomenal and I certainly do hope that I get to meet you in the flesh one day.

I was going to reply to this last night when I read it, but it brought me to tears, so I decided to wait until today. Thank you so much for your sweet words. It meant a lot to me.


And (from your post on my ski layout) I would LOVE to meet you when you go to Durango and we're in CO!!!!!

[ReneT]

Good grief you girls are quiet this weekend!!!! Where is everyone?

I'm just wasting time until Drew & Amy come over for nachos and game night. They LOVE to play games! Which is great, cuz so do we!!!!

I've actually gotten some scrapping done this weekend, so I don't feel as overwhelmed as I did last week. I think I may actually catch up before the end of the month!

[debilou]

Good grief you girls are quiet this weekend!!!! Where is everyone?

I'm just wasting time until Drew & Amy come over for nachos and game night. They LOVE to play games! Which is great, cuz so do we!!!!

I've actually gotten some scrapping done this weekend, so I don't feel as overwhelmed as I did last week. I think I may actually catch up before the end of the month!

Pq and I are each making separate vacation plans... I'm so excited.. i'm so excited

be back later with details.. yipee yahoo.

[ReneT]

Pq and I are each making separate vacation plans... I'm so excited.. i'm so excited

be back later with details.. yipee yahoo.

Sounds like fun! I've already made mine. Just a little 4 day trip to Vegas. Decided not to do the trip up the CA coast this summer like we had planned. 2 weddings and a high school graduation this year, so we decided a shorter, less expensive vacation would be in order. Plus with all the stress and planning lately, I just didn't feel up to figuring out how to drive about 4 hours each day on the winding HWY 1, figure out how far we would actually get with some areas being 30mph, figure out where to book overnight reservations in the areas we wanted to see, and how to get where we needed to be on time. It was just all a bit much more my brain to deal with this year. So maybe next year or the next. And maybe I'll have a travel agent figure all that out for me. :D (I'm having deja vu. Did I already tell you guys this? Now that I think about it, maybe I told you when Laura was talking about her trip to Vegas. If so, please forgive me. I'm 45 and have lost 1/2 my brain mass I suspect. :rofl::rofl: A friend of mine of Facebook posted this morning that his brain was still intact, but his body wouldn't follow. Neither my brain nor my body are intact. :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:)

[addielee]

Not a whole lot going on here. We did go to the RV show yesterday, but didn't buy anything. We have an old tent trailer and will probably keep it for a for a while longer. We would like to be able to have something bigger so we could go for longer trips, but won't go there until DH needs a new vehicle. At that point we could go for a couple of weeks at a time and DH could continue to commute to work. We would love to do a big road trip some summer. Some of those RVs are nicer than houses!!

Today I made banana bread muffins, then we went swimming, then to the mall to get Sebastian's glasses fixed. It wasn't Sebastian's fault at all. DH took the glasses off to help him get dressed and left them on the coffee table. Then Jeremiah found them.I'm sure Lenscrafters will know us well soon. We went there because of their repair/replacement program. They repaired them on the spot. I've ordered him a second pair online so hopefully those will be here soon.

Now I'm sitting back and watching the Heritage Classic, an outdoor hockey game featuring my favourite team while the boys are napping/resting. Tomorrow is a holiday for us, Family Day.

[debilou]

Not a whole lot going on here. We did go to the RV show yesterday, but didn't buy anything. We have an old tent trailer and will probably keep it for a for a while longer. We would like to be able to have something bigger so we could go for longer trips, but won't go there until DH needs a new vehicle. At that point we could go for a couple of weeks at a time and DH could continue to commute to work. We would love to do a big road trip some summer. Some of those RVs are nicer than houses!!

Today I made banana bread muffins, then we went swimming, then to the mall to get Sebastian's glasses fixed. It wasn't Sebastian's fault at all. DH took the glasses off to help him get dressed and left them on the coffee table. Then Jeremiah found them.I'm sure Lenscrafters will know us well soon. We went there because of their repair/replacement program. They repaired them on the spot. I've ordered him a second pair online so hopefully those will be here soon.

Now I'm sitting back and watching the Heritage Classic, an outdoor hockey game featuring my favourite team while the boys are napping/resting. Tomorrow is a holiday for us, Family Day.

tomorrow is a US holiday - President's day... so a bunch of working PEEPS will be off...

have fun..

[Maggie Macpaine]

We are visiting my sister. Enjoying the time watching the kids play together and plotting (Oops. Did I say that out loud?)

[GrandmaCrys]

I'm back from the weekend, but too tired to do anything. Slept to most of the Nascar race. :rofl: :rofl:

[debilou]

We are visiting my sister. Enjoying the time watching the kids play together and plotting (Oops. Did I say that out loud?)

Nope.

[ReneT]

Good morning Gundi Girls! I'm up and at em early this morning. I had Gary wake me up at 7 when he left for the airport for a conference. Trying to do some scanning and scrapping before I go to my first acupuncture appointment and to run some errands this afternoon. I have decided to try the acupuncture a few times before my appointment with the orthopedic doctor in April. The situation is just getting worse, and when I am finally sleeping, it wakes me up because I can not find a position that doesn't hurt. Last night I hung it on a chair as I was walking away from it and the pain was so bad I thought I could have cried. It's weird, not every movement hurts, but the ones that do are awful! So I am praying that today will provide a bit of relief. Cross your fingers for me. I don't even know if the ortho doctor can even do anything besides give me a true diagnosis with an MRI or something. Don't know if they make surgery for tendonitis.

What all do you guys have going on today?

[Maggie Macpaine]

I know there is a surgery for carpel tunnel. So, who knows. I hope you get some relief.

[ReneT]

Thanks Maggie!

[debilou]

Good morning Gundi Girls! I'm up and at em early this morning. I had Gary wake me up at 7 when he left for the airport for a conference. Trying to do some scanning and scrapping before I go to my first acupuncture appointment and to run some errands this afternoon. I have decided to try the acupuncture a few times before my appointment with the orthopedic doctor in April. The situation is just getting worse, and when I am finally sleeping, it wakes me up because I can not find a position that doesn't hurt. Last night I hung it on a chair as I was walking away from it and the pain was so bad I thought I could have cried. It's weird, not every movement hurts, but the ones that do are awful! So I am praying that today will provide a bit of relief. Cross your fingers for me. I don't even know if the ortho doctor can even do anything besides give me a true diagnosis with an MRI or something. Don't know if they make surgery for tendonitis.

What all do you guys have going on today?

Ouch.. I hope you get some relief and quick.

[PQ]

Rene.....I am knowledgeable about all things tendinitis...what is inflamed?

[ReneT]

Rene.....I am knowledgeable about all things tendinitis...what is inflamed?

It's in my right upper arm where the doctor says the tendon meets the muscle about 1/2 way up the upper arm. It started 2 years ago after a really busy time at our business where I was lifting boxes of 10 reams of paper for about 10-12 hours a day for about 2 months. I had done this same type of thing for years twice a year, about the same amount of time, but never had the problem, then all of a sudden, I had this injury. At first it was just annoying, so I didn't do anything about it because I thought it would go away after I was no longer lifting the boxes. It never did and about a year ago got worse, and then in the last couple of months (or close to it) it hurts horribly. The worst part is in the area I mentioned above. It hurts to lift my arm over my head, reach behind me like to put on a jacket, reach across my body. Then in the last 2 weeks, it has started to hurt almost non-stop in my clavicle area and back of my shoulder and I have heard a popping noise a few times with a certain movement. I've tried everything. Prescription anti-inflamatory meds, steroid shots, chiropractic, cold laser treatment, putting it in a sling, off the computer for 3 weeks, hot/cold therapy, physical therapy. So the acupuncture is my last ditch effort before seeing the orthopedic doc in April that I already have an appt with. My reg doctor says he can't put any more steroid shots in it-didn't help much the last time anyway.

[addielee]

Oh Rene, that sounds awful! I hope you can get some relief with acupuncture.

Not much going on here today...might this be our hibernation day??

[Christine]

definitely no fun, Rene, hope it gets better soon or at least you can figure out what is going on

[ReneT]

Thanks guys. I think I told you this before, that Gary says I'm on the computer too much, but that can't be it because I've done 2 things to help that: I put in a lower keyboard try so my arms were not so high when typing and scrapping, and when the mac was in the shop after Christmas for 2 weeks and I was only using the ipad to chat in my recliner, it didn't get better, if fact it got worse. I just don't feel old enough to have the kind of problems I have, but I guess anyone can get an injury from overuse of a part of the body.

[>>aruaL<<]

Good morning!
Been up since 3am... got Dh's breakfast made, got his lunch packed and him off to work... then at 6am I got DS up and ready for boyscouts and out the door at 7am to put the US Flags all along the boulevard. It's a beautifulllllllllllllllllllllll sight! Its one of my favorite things to see, US Flags lining the boulevard.... :-) Afterwards we went to breakfast together, just me and DS, it was so nice. Now we are home and trying to plan our Summer vacation. Half of us wants to go across country in the motorhome, but the other half says we have done that a million times and so lets go on a cruise this time instead. Soooooooo MAYBE a cruise will happen if all 4 can agree and if we can find one that runs during the Summer, it seems that most do not run out of local areas. We could drive to Washington and leave from a port there. Hmm. It's doable, but ugh, bummer. Might be our only option. If not a cruise, then we need to pick where we will go in the motorhome...

I hate planning this stuff.

[ReneT]

Good morning!
Been up since 3am... got Dh's breakfast made, got his lunch packed and him off to work... then at 6am I got DS up and ready for boyscouts and out the door at 7am to put the US Flags all along the boulevard. It's a beautifulllllllllllllllllllllll sight! Its one of my favorite things to see, US Flags lining the boulevard.... :-) Afterwards we went to breakfast together, just me and DS, it was so nice. Now we are home and trying to plan our Summer vacation. Half of us wants to go across country in the motorhome, but the other half says we have done that a million times and so lets go on a cruise this time instead. Soooooooo MAYBE a cruise will happen if all 4 can agree and if we can find one that runs during the Summer, it seems that most do not run out of local areas. We could drive to Washington and leave from a port there. Hmm. It's doable, but ugh, bummer. Might be our only option. If not a cruise, then we need to pick where we will go in the motorhome...

I hate planning this stuff.

Both would be fun! Depends on whether you want to do the work/cooking yourself in the RV or have all that done for you on the cruise. Wonder why they don't leave out of CA in the summer?

[Maggie Macpaine]

Must be in the air. We've been talking vacations too. Nothing amazing though.

[GrandmaCrys]

Yeah, we never do *amazing* vacations, but have been thinking of 4 days at our favorite spot with a grandson, his wife and step-son, and my oldest grandson. Amazing? :no: :no: Very fun? :yes: :yes:

[GrandmaCrys]

Rene, I'm praying you get some relief. :pray: :pray:

[>>aruaL<<]

Rene, I *love* going in the RV once it's all packed and we are on our way.... but I *hate* the packing, the cooking, the cleaning, the UNpacking, the CLEANING for storage, etc. Hate hate hate that part. But all the other parts I like. It's a vacation for THEM, surely not for me. It's why I'd prefer not doing the RV, we have done it a bazillion times, we have been across the country so many times, I'm not sure I wanna do it again this Summer.

[debilou]

Good morning!
Been up since 3am... got Dh's breakfast made, got his lunch packed and him off to work... then at 6am I got DS up and ready for boyscouts and out the door at 7am to put the US Flags all along the boulevard. It's a beautifulllllllllllllllllllllll sight! Its one of my favorite things to see, US Flags lining the boulevard.... :-) Afterwards we went to breakfast together, just me and DS, it was so nice. Now we are home and trying to plan our Summer vacation. Half of us wants to go across country in the motorhome, but the other half says we have done that a million times and so lets go on a cruise this time instead. Soooooooo MAYBE a cruise will happen if all 4 can agree and if we can find one that runs during the Summer, it seems that most do not run out of local areas. We could drive to Washington and leave from a port there. Hmm. It's doable, but ugh, bummer. Might be our only option. If not a cruise, then we need to pick where we will go in the motorhome...

I hate planning this stuff.

I hope you plan a fun one... And, one lot requiring a lot of planning.

I had DH do the planning this year.. and, he spent way more than he would have let me spend.. so we are going to EUROPE! and, See some castles..

We go in June... I'm not bugging him with a lot of questions.. hey he made the reservations and, paid the bills... I just need to know what to pack and, when to be ready..

I know we go thru most of the UK.. that's the most I got out of him, without being a pest.. we've never gone to Europe before.. and, we compared bucket lists.. and, that's what we both picked..

he checked out a couple of other places on our bucket list - and, let's say we both have very good taste.. and, we can't afford our bucket list... :rofl::rofl::rofl:

But, the UK we can barely afford.. but, we better do it fairly soon.. or we never will...

Yay Yippee..

and, since we didn't get an invitation to William's and Kate's Wedding.. so, we didn't pick that week... We are going later in the year..

[debilou]

Yeah, we never do *amazing* vacations, but have been thinking of 4 days at our favorite spot with a grandson, his wife and step-son, and my oldest grandson. Amazing? :no: :no: Very fun? :yes: :yes:

That is VERY FUN!! I would trade many of our vacations for time with the grandkids..

[debilou]

Rene, I *love* going in the RV once it's all packed and we are on our way.... but I *hate* the packing, the cooking, the cleaning, the UNpacking, the CLEANING for storage, etc. Hate hate hate that part. But all the other parts I like. It's a vacation for THEM, surely not for me. It's why I'd prefer not doing the RV, we have done it a bazillion times, we have been across the country so many times, I'm not sure I wanna do it again this Summer.

don't blame you ONE single bit.. I hate doing all of the planning, and the rest that you said, you come home so darn tired.. you need a vacation..

do something where YOU will have fun too..
just my thoughts.. and, if they read this.. don't tell them where i live ok..

[Maggie Macpaine]

Europe is fun. Watch out for the gypsies in Italy. They gave our group troubles the first time I was over there. My parents didn't have trouble with them, and they've been more recently, but they were always trying to get stuff when I was there.

[debilou]

Europe is fun. Watch out for the gypsies in Italy. They gave our group troubles the first time I was over there. My parents didn't have trouble with them, and they've been more recently, but they were always trying to get stuff when I was there.

Thanks pirate girl.. we aren't going there.

[GrandmaCrys]

Rene, I *love* going in the RV once it's all packed and we are on our way.... but I *hate* the packing, the cooking, the cleaning, the UNpacking, the CLEANING for storage, etc. Hate hate hate that part. But all the other parts I like. It's a vacation for THEM, surely not for me. It's why I'd prefer not doing the RV, we have done it a bazillion times, we have been across the country so many times, I'm not sure I wanna do it again this Summer.

I'm with you, Girl Friend. If I'm going to have to cook and clean, I'd just as soon do it in the comfort of my home. ;)

That is VERY FUN!! I would trade many of our vacations for time with the grandkids..

You know, most of my fun childhood memories revolve around my *favorite* grandparents. That's what I'm trying to re-create with mine. ;) I, who does not remember much of anything, can still remember vacations with my grandparents. CK teases me, because one of our vacation spots he is very familiar with. I'm NOT. But I remember being there and having a blast. And that's the important part. :D

[GrandmaCrys]

Oh, and debi, your vacation sounds marvelous. I just cannot believe you didn't invite me along. :cry: :cry: :cry:

[ReneT]

Oh Debi, how fun!!! I'm so excited for you!!! Can't wait to see those photos!

I agree too Laura, about working, cooking during your vacation. I love taking ours for short trips, but I would not want that to be my main vacation for the year. I want to eat out, have someone clean the room, etc. Gary on the other hand, would love to spend 2 weeks in the RV, cooking out on the grill, cooking inside, sitting in the chair watching satellite tv. We are so different, it's surprising we even like each other. :D

Here's how my appointment went yesterday:
Needles don't bother me, so it was no big deal. She spent a bit explaining the origin of it, and letting me tell her all I have tried and that it had gotten worse. I originally thought she was also a medical doctor in this country, but she's not, only in China, but she did tell me she didn't think she could cure the problem, only help me with the pain. She thinks based on what I told her about how it has gotten worse even though I am no longer lifting the heavy boxes anymore, that there is something else going on. She said regardless of whether this helps or not, I definitely need to keep my appointment with the orthopedic doctor. She said she had an idea of what it might be, but since she is not licensed as a physician in this country, she really couldn't go into that. I go back in a week for another treatment and to tell her if it was better, worse or the same, and she'll make a plan from there until the April appointment. She said I might notice a difference this evening or tomorrow. So far no difference, but not giving up yet.

[GrandmaCrys]

Prayers are with you Rene, that at the very least you get some relief (lots, hopefully) from the pain till you can find the source.

[ReneT]

Thanks Crys. Can you come be my substitute mom? :)

[debilou]

Rene, I hope you get relief soon... I can't imagine the pain.

[GrandmaCrys]

Thanks Crys. Can you come be my substitute mom? :)

:yes: :yes: :yes: :yes: :yes: ;)

[addielee]

Hi ladies, jsut popping in quickly before I need to get ready to go to band. Had a good day at school. The boys are happily fed and hopefully the rest of my evening goes well. I just can't stop thinking about those in Christchurch though. :(

[Christine]

I got week 6 of my P365 project done, now off to finish up week 7, just in time for week 8. LOL

http://www.digitalscrapbookplace.com/forum/../gallery/data/7040/thumbs/LAWKI_6.jpg (http://www.digitalscrapbookplace.com/forum/../gallery/showphoto.php?photo=381409&title=life-as-we-know-itweek-6&cat=all)
Life as we know it - week 6 (http://www.digitalscrapbookplace.com/forum/../gallery/showphoto.php?photo=381409&title=life-as-we-know-itweek-6&cat=all)

[bendipez]

Thanks Crys. Can you come be my substitute mom? :)
Me too, especially since you are already Shawn's grandma.....

[debilou]

:yes: :yes: :yes: :yes: :yes: ;)

I need a substitute mom too... will you be mine too... please pretty please.. :love3::love3:

[debilou]

Good morning ladies.. hope everyone is doing fine..

Still praying for the Kiwi ladies tho.. what a horrible tragedy there..

And, I'm off to Exercise and then Scrap.. see ya later gators.

[GrandmaCrys]

Me too, especially since you are already Shawn's grandma.....

Why sure! I grandma's heart is very large! ;) :D

I need a substitute mom too... will you be mine too... please pretty please.. :love3::love3:

Of course I will. :hug: :hug: :hug: 007: (but you have to do everything I say and take care of me in my old age.) :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Christine]

Good morning everyone! Lots to do today for me, kinda the way it always is though isn't it? :)

[debilou]

Why sure! I grandma's heart is very large! ;) :D



Of course I will. :hug: :hug: :hug: 007: (but you have to do everything I say and take care of me in my old age.) :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I already do, don't i....:love3::love3:

[ReneT]

Good morning! Another busy day for me too. Trying to get a page scrapped for the heritage challenge tonight, while simultaneously scanning. Then this afternoon I've got some errands and appointments.

Finally heard back from Brad on what was going to be the outcome of the photo situation. After the long conversation we had about it and his promises that "Lance and I will do whatever we have to do to make this right", now here's the text I got last night: "Lance talked to his boss (old prosecutor in office and now a judge) and she said taking any action would jeopardize his job since he signed that form when he submitted the pic. I wish that wasn't the case given the circumstances. He has not been able to get up to that office either to look at how the label was put on since it is in a different building as him downtown. Do keep in mind it is on a secure non-public floor though. This was an eye opening experience for Lance and I and we both realized it wasn't the smartest thing we've ever done. I wish I had not given it to him so carelessly. I'm sorry. If either of you want to discuss this more feel free to give me a call."

So unless I throw a big fit about it, it will forever remain on the wall in the courthouse with Lance's name on it, and it's just not worth it to me to cause issues between Lindsey & Brad and me.

[debilou]

Good morning! Another busy day for me too. Trying to get a page scrapped for the heritage challenge tonight, while simultaneously scanning. Then this afternoon I've got some errands and appointments.

Finally heard back from Brad on what was going to be the outcome of the photo situation. After the long conversation we had about it and his promises that "Lance and I will do whatever we have to do to make this right", now here's the text I got last night: "Lance talked to his boss (old prosecutor in office and now a judge) and she said taking any action would jeopardize his job since he signed that form when he submitted the pic. I wish that wasn't the case given the circumstances. He has not been able to get up to that office either to look at how the label was put on since it is in a different building as him downtown. Do keep in mind it is on a secure non-public floor though. This was an eye opening experience for Lance and I and we both realized it wasn't the smartest thing we've ever done. I wish I had not given it to him so carelessly. I'm sorry. If either of you want to discuss this more feel free to give me a call."

So unless I throw a big fit about it, it will forever remain on the wall in the courthouse with Lance's name on it, and it's just not worth it to me to cause issues between Lindsey & Brad and me.

First, that was Chicken of him to TEXT you rather than to call you and discuss...

Second, I so wish it was on a public floor - because I will be in San Antonio in a couple of weeks.. I'd love to see how the whole exhibit is worded and displayed..

third.. I do think your kids Brad & Lindsey did have an eye opening experience no matter what - they now understand, any photo taken of them is COPYRIGHTED.. they can't just give it away..

But, what to do now... I really don't know..

[ReneT]

I'm just going to let it lie. The stress of last week really got to me, and with all the wedding stuff that I am doing right now, every day brings a new thing or things to do, go get, pay for, work on, etc. I just don't have the fight in me right now. I can already tell Lindsey has been distant to me in her private messages on Facebook and her texts when she has to message me about wedding stuff. She can criticize to her heart's content, but doesn't handle anyone questioning her or someone/something she is involved with. So, since the bridal shower is Saturday, and I am handling about as much as I can at the moment, I feel it's just better to let it go. That is so not my nature, but I tend to be a big chicken when it comes to dealing with negative issues with the stepdaughters, and I really don't know why that is, other than I've tried so hard to be the best stepmom I can be, and also (as stupid as this sounds) I really don't want them going to their mom and saying negative stuff about me and then them sit around and discuss what a horrid stepmom I am. I know it sounds silly and I just shouldn't care what their mom thinks or says about me, I think it's a pride issue.

[debilou]

I'm just going to let it lie. The stress of last week really got to me, and with all the wedding stuff that I am doing right now, every day brings a new thing or things to do, go get, pay for, work on, etc. I just don't have the fight in me right now. I can already tell Lindsey has been distant to me in her private messages on Facebook and her texts when she has to message me about wedding stuff. She can criticize to her heart's content, but doesn't handle anyone questioning her or someone/something she is involved with. So, since the bridal shower is Saturday, and I am handling about as much as I can at the moment, I feel it's just better to let it go. That is so not my nature, but I tend to be a big chicken when it comes to dealing with negative issues with the stepdaughters, and I really don't know why that is, other than I've tried so hard to be the best stepmom I can be, and also (as stupid as this sounds) I really don't want them going to their mom and saying negative stuff about me and then them sit around and discuss what a horrid stepmom I am. I know it sounds silly and I just shouldn't care what their mom thinks or says about me, I think it's a pride issue.

Well, as a step mom... Rene, it makes perfect sense to me..

I completely support your decision.. it's made.. now stick to it..

let it go - the hurt feelings, the whole situation.

put it in a big bubble.. and blow it away..

That's the best advice I can give you..

otherwise it will just eat away at you... just blow the whole thing away.. and, forget it.. chalk it up to

Lesson learned..

[ReneT]

Well, as a step mom... Rene, it makes perfect sense to me..

I completely support your decision.. it's made.. now stick to it..

let it go - the hurt feelings, the whole situation.

put it in a big bubble.. and blow it away..

That's the best advice I can give you..

otherwise it will just eat away at you... just blow the whole thing away.. and, forget it.. chalk it up to

Lesson learned..

Yep, I agree. It's time to move on. Thanks girl.

[Christine]

ugggggh that is such a cop out on Brad and Lance's part. So basically it is ok to do something wrong and not take care of it because there might be a bad consequence. It seems to me that Lance ought to buck up and be a man and say yes I screwed up, my integrity is worth something to me, so I want to make it right.

I understand where you are coming from Rene, but I still think Lance (and Brad for that matter) is showing low moral character. Hugs!

[Christine]

and ta duh! week 7 is done now too :tup:

http://www.digitalscrapbookplace.com/forum/../gallery/data/7040/thumbs/LAWKI_7.jpg (http://www.digitalscrapbookplace.com/forum/../gallery/showphoto.php?photo=381428&title=life-as-we-know-itweek-7&cat=7040)
Life as we know it - week 7 (http://www.digitalscrapbookplace.com/forum/../gallery/showphoto.php?photo=381428&title=life-as-we-know-itweek-7&cat=7040)

[ReneT]

ugggggh that is such a cop out on Brad and Lance's part. So basically it is ok to do something wrong and not take care of it because there might be a bad consequence. It seems to me that Lance ought to buck up and be a man and say yes I screwed up, my integrity is worth something to me, so I want to make it right.

I understand where you are coming from Rene, but I still think Lance (and Brad for that matter) is showing low moral character. Hugs!

I totally agree. This is what I really want to say to Brad:

1) You can not convince me that a 28 year old man who has worked in the DA's office and now works for a judge, did not know it was wrong and illegal to sign his name on a piece of paper saying he took the photo when he knew he didn't.
2) Even if he doesn't want to lose his job, he could at least man-up and give me a call to personally apologize.
3) I'm disappointed in you right now because you would much rather protect your best friend than to do the right thing for your future in-laws.
4) After all this back-pedaling, I now no longer feel that all the words you said on the phone last week were sincere.

AND another thing, a point brought up by a friend of mine, what kind of judge advises an employee to not come forward on an issue like this, or come forward herself when she knows the truth?

[debilou]

I totally agree. This is what I really want to say to Brad:

1) You can not convince me that a 28 year old man who has worked in the DA's office and now works for a judge, did not know it was wrong and illegal to sign his name on a piece of paper saying he took the photo when he knew he didn't.
2) Even if he doesn't want to lose his job, he could at least man-up and give me a call to personally apologize.
3) I'm disappointed in you right now because you would much rather protect your best friend than to do the right thing for your future in-laws.
4) After all this back-pedaling, I now no longer feel that all the words you said on the phone last week were sincere.

AND another thing, a point brought up by a friend of mine, what kind of judge advises an employee to not come forward on an issue like this, or come forward herself when she knows the truth?

Agreed, but obviously he is NOT a MAN with integrity... OR HE WOULDN"T HAVE TAKEN ANY PHOTO NOT HIS AND PUT HIS NAME ON IT TO BEGIN WITH!!!

[Christine]

so what all did Gary say about this?

[Christine]

grrrr the more I think about this, the madder it makes me!

[>>aruaL<<]

Rene, I think letting it go is probably the best thing for you, given the circumstances.
I do however have a question, maybe I missed this in earlier posts (or maybe I just forgot..lol) but... has this Lance guy even called YOU to discuss it AND to apologize?? I think that's the very least he could do.... especially since your willing to save his job over it.

[>>aruaL<<]

I totally agree. This is what I really want to say to Brad:

1) You can not convince me that a 28 year old man who has worked in the DA's office and now works for a judge, did not know it was wrong and illegal to sign his name on a piece of paper saying he took the photo when he knew he didn't.
2) Even if he doesn't want to lose his job, he could at least man-up and give me a call to personally apologize.
3) I'm disappointed in you right now because you would much rather protect your best friend than to do the right thing for your future in-laws.
4) After all this back-pedaling, I now no longer feel that all the words you said on the phone last week were sincere.

AND another thing, a point brought up by a friend of mine, what kind of judge advises an employee to not come forward on an issue like this, or come forward herself when she knows the truth?

Ooops, I just read this (after I already posted..) so my question is answered. He's a jerk.

And, sadly I know of many judges who would give this sort of advice. I worked in criminal and family law for 10 years, I have seen it allllllll.... it's like the movies, but in real life. LOL :-)

[GrandmaCrys]

ugggggh that is such a cop out on Brad and Lance's part. So basically it is ok to do something wrong and not take care of it because there might be a bad consequence. It seems to me that Lance ought to buck up and be a man and say yes I screwed up, my integrity is worth something to me, so I want to make it right.

I understand where you are coming from Rene, but I still think Lance (and Brad for that matter) is showing low moral character. Hugs!

I'm in agreement with you, Chris.

I totally agree. This is what I really want to say to Brad:

1) You can not convince me that a 28 year old man who has worked in the DA's office and now works for a judge, did not know it was wrong and illegal to sign his name on a piece of paper saying he took the photo when he knew he didn't.
2) Even if he doesn't want to lose his job, he could at least man-up and give me a call to personally apologize.
3) I'm disappointed in you right now because you would much rather protect your best friend than to do the right thing for your future in-laws.
4) After all this back-pedaling, I now no longer feel that all the words you said on the phone last week were sincere.

AND another thing, a point brought up by a friend of mine, what kind of judge advises an employee to not come forward on an issue like this, or come forward herself when she knows the truth?

That was my very first thought when reading your original message about the *little men*. :(

I always like to hope that those who work in law don't feel that they're above the law, but I know that's just not true.

I understand the family/step-family aspect of all this, but I would so want to go after the best man for being of low character. Keep in mind, I've already said I was a wienie, and I wouldn't actually do anything, but I would so want to.

And with that being said, if you're not going to pursue
it, I agree with Debi; you must let it go, before it eats you up more than it already has. :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[Christine]

now see I guess I am a "meanie" cuz I would sooooooo go after him. That whole attitude of well what could I possibly do now doesn't fly so much with me. I can hear it now, well judge I am so sorry that I robbed that bank, but I have already spent the money, so let's just all ignore this and pretend that it never happened because after all it might inconvenience me to make it right! :mad:

Having said all of that, I have only been on the step daughter side of the equation, but quite honestly I have never had an issue like this because I respect my step-parents and wouldn't do this kind of thing to ANYBODY, besides why does bad behavior get a pass when you are dealing w/ family. Seems to me that those are the people who LEAST deserve to be treated badly (ie Brad and Lindsey, not you Rene, hope you are getting my drift)

[Christine]

ugg that is still not very clear, I am saying they should not treat you this way, especially because you are family. Does that make more sense? :)

[>>aruaL<<]

I totally get what your saying Christine. For me, I couldn't do it before my daughter's (or even my sons.... just to make that clear, lol) wedding... BUT, I could sure as heck do it immediately after!! Whats a real bummer is that the son-in-law obviously doesn't have the respect for family, as he's more about protecting the best friend. It makes me angry that the thief, Lance, didn't have the guts to call Rene himself.... which for me, means he realllyyyyyy got a 'pass', he should at the veryyyy least have to feel the wrath of Rene's hurt feelings. I don't even know him, and I don't like him. I tried reallly hard at the start of it, to give him the benefit of the doubt, hoping it wasn't him who was low enough to claim the photo as his own. I had hoped it was all just a big misunderstanding. But obviously, he's lacking integrity!

[GrandmaCrys]

ugg that is still not very clear, I am saying they should not treat you this way, especially because you are family. Does that make more sense? :)

It all made perfect sense to me the first time. ;) Too bad most of the world does not work this way.

I could tell you step-family stories that would curdle your blood. :annoyed: :annoyed: :annoyed: :annoyed:

[Christine]

laura immediately after works for me too :D Particularly if he is going SELL it! That makes him even more of a thief!

[ReneT]

Let me see if I can respond to and/or answer questions and comments.

Gary said initially last night when I showed him the text from Brad, "I'll just call him and handle this once and for all." He didn't do that, but that's how he tends to respond to issues initially. He will say he's going to go all out or say this or that, but being a non-confrontational kinda guy, rarely does it, unless the situation or person is right there in front of him at the moment he gets angry. If some time passes, he usually just lets it go. I asked him today if he thought my feelings were legitimate and he said yes, and then I asked him how he felt about it and he said, "I gave up hoping or wishing people would do the right thing a long time ago. You just haven't gotten there yet." And I think that's true. I don't know how - never have - to quit wishing for people to do the right thing, not hurt my feelings, whatever the case may be. Even tho in my head I know it's not going to happen, I don't know how to not wish it would happen.

I definitely agree that at the very least Lance should have called me to apologize. I am interested to see how he reacts to me at the wedding - if he doesn't mention it or if he will say something then.

You know when this whole wedding thing started, I was just so excited about it and was so glad to be included in all the planning, but as time has gone on and more and more stuff has happened, I'm just so ready for it to be done. I am the STEPmother for Pete's sake and I have done 99.9% of all the work, which I certainly don't mind doing, but I do feel like I'm being used at times with no appreciation at all. After my talk with Brad, I really felt like he was the one person who understood what all I've done, but after his going back on "Lance and I will do whatever we have to do to make this right", I have lost a great deal of respect for him and feel like a great deal of that initial conversation was only because he knew Gary was extremely mad at that time.

There doesn't seem to be any ASKING if I can do something, it's either expected or just plain told to me what I need to do. Such as "you need to take my dress to the cleaners to get the hem cleaned where it got dirty during my bridal portraits", "it won't take you long to stuff the envelopes with the invitations", "if you and dad are paying for the hotel room for me and Brad the night of our wedding, we'll stay in the more expensive one, but if we have to pay for it ourselves, we'll stay in the cheaper one". :eek::eek::eek:

Maybe all these things, not to mention the ones I haven't told you about, are minor, but when you add them all up they have become a mountain of hurt, betrayal, feeling used, and being overwhelmed.

And Crys, I know what you and Debi say about letting it go is right. I have to pull myself together and just move forward. It has been a long long time since I have been in the emotional place that I am right now. I don't go a day without tears at some point for a couple of weeks now. I think I'm just overwhelmed and tired.

I just hope you all know how much I love you and appreciate your support and letting me vent here. :love3::love3::love3: You and the members of my first DET team that I got to meet and get close to at Adobe last year have been a blessing in my life during this time and others.

[GrandmaCrys]

Rene: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[>>aruaL<<]

Rene, wouldn't the world be wonderful if everyone acted like us!? *hugs*
My daddy always said "it's a tough world out there, don't expect people to act like you do, you will only be disappointed throughout life".... and he's right. I am like Gary, I gave up on the general population long ago, for the most part. Once in a while, I'm surprised...

Just remember, karma will come back around to Lance... and to Brad. It will. Don't know when or to what degree, but it's gonna.

Send Lance a card.. a simple one, the photo he stole on one side, and on the other simply write "the Gundi girls think your a jerk, and I agree with them, Sincerely, the one you stole from.. ReneT"

*super big hug!*

[addielee]

Oh, Rene, you shouldn't feel the need to cry so often. :cry: I wish I could give you a big hug. :hug:

[Christine]

LOL Laura! That is awesome!

[Christine]

So Rene, only do what YOU want to do for the wedding. You do NOT OWE them! Clearly they don't care about putting your needs first. YOu don't need to be mean and nasty about it, but if you are busy or just plain don't want to do xyz, when it is demanded, just say I am sorry I am busy that day/time whatever, you will have to ASK someone else to do it. ;)

[bendipez]

Shawn just offered to roll over and beat their a$$..!!

[Maggie Macpaine]

So Rene, only do what YOU want to do for the wedding. You do NOT OWE them! Clearly they don't care about putting your needs first. YOu don't need to be mean and nasty about it, but if you are busy or just plain don't want to do xyz, when it is demanded, just say I am sorry I am busy that day/time whatever, you will have to ASK someone else to do it. ;)

I agree!!

[debilou]

laura immediately after works for me too :D Particularly if he is going SELL it! That makes him even more of a thief!

What - he's going to SELL it...

I missed that part.. what????

[debilou]

Rene, wouldn't the world be wonderful if everyone acted like us!? *hugs*
My daddy always said "it's a tough world out there, don't expect people to act like you do, you will only be disappointed throughout life".... and he's right. I am like Gary, I gave up on the general population long ago, for the most part. Once in a while, I'm surprised...

Just remember, karma will come back around to Lance... and to Brad. It will. Don't know when or to what degree, but it's gonna.

Send Lance a card.. a simple one, the photo he stole on one side, and on the other simply write "the Gundi girls think your a jerk, and I agree with them, Sincerely, the one you stole from.. ReneT"

*super big hug!*

I'm with Laura on this one... I'll put my name on this card.. and, I'd bet you'd get a bunch on "peeps" to sign it... he is a jerk..

and, you have been mistreated by all 3 of them... that is not right..

and, you shouldn't be crying.. I wish I could hug you.. but here's a cyber hug coming your way.. :love3::love3::love3:

[debilou]

Gosh, wouldn't it be nice to get the Judges name - and, send the Judge a letter to tell him/her what happened...

and, maybe the JERK never even talked to him/her about the photo.. hmm.. that would be interesting..

I can't believe a judge - who is put their to uphold the LAW - would do something like this.. I would think they would try to make things right if they could (but maybe they didn't know all of the facts.. hmm, i have to wonder.. ).

[Christine]

Good morning everyone!

Good point Debi, we only have the jerk's word that he talked to the judge etc. And let's see how many of us think, the jerk is all that anxious to tell the TRUTH! Gosh I don't see a lot of hands raised.

We had one of our plays last night. It was A Tale of Two Cities and it was FABULOUS!

[>>aruaL<<]

I too question if he even talked to them about it. But, it really doesn't shock me one bit that a judge, or anyone else for that matter, would give such an answer. It's a cruel world we live in, sometimes.

Honestly, I'm not sure which one makes me more mad... Brad or Lance. Maybe both, equally. Brad makes me mad because he's family, and he should be protecting family...but he's obviously not. It sounds like he's just tryin to be a smooth talker to get out of the hot water. Maybe he never even told his friend??!! Nowwwww wouldn't THAT be something!! Maybe he's not got the guts to confront his friend about it, just like he doesn't have the guts to stand up for FAMILY!! And then, there is Lance.... Lance is simply a thief. I don't like thieves.

Can we call off the wedding and find the bride a new groom??! ahahaha... jussst kidding!

:-)

[ReneT]

Yeah, Gary and I have both wondered if Lance really did talk to the judge. We'll never know.

But no, we can't call off the wedding, because as of today, I've lost 23 pounds!!!! And I have a cute pair of black pants and fitted white shirt to wear to the rehearsal dinner and if my dress for the wedding turns out to look like what I think it is going to after it is altered, I will be wearing it with an awesome pair of shoes (which I haven't found yet), a tan, cute hair, some big ole dangly earrings and an awesome pedicure! :rofl::rofl::rofl:

[Chellie]

Chris' comment:
besides why does bad behavior get a pass when you are dealing w/ family. Seems to me that those are the people who LEAST deserve it

See I agree w/ that statement 100%. I was talking to my bros and mother about how the loved ones get the short end of the stick while "strangers" seem to get the respect and consideration that's actually due to the loved ones. My bros were saying how the ones you are more close to gets the bad end of the deal while those you hardly know gets the good end. One shouldn't do wrong to either but when it comes to those who you are suppose to love/care about, they shouldn't be mistreated while someone you hardly knows gets treated better. So backwards! :confused:

[bendipez]

Yeah, Gary and I have both wondered if Lance really did talk to the judge. We'll never know.

But no, we can't call off the wedding, because as of today, I've lost 23 pounds!!!! And I have a cute pair of black pants and fitted white shirt to wear to the rehearsal dinner and if my dress for the wedding turns out to look like what I think it is going to after it is altered, I will be wearing it with an awesome pair of shoes (which I haven't found yet), a tan, cute hair, some big ole dangly earrings and an awesome pedicure! :rofl::rofl::rofl:

Go get Shellaced!!!

[>>aruaL<<]

Hey Rene... your gonna be looking sooooooooooooooooooo hawt, be sure Lance don't get his hands on THOSE photos, he'll sell those too and I'm worried about WHO he may sell them to!!! ahahahahahahaahahahahah!!!! :-)

It's a good thing we can find some sort of light heartedness during a bad situation huh... :-)

[>>aruaL<<]

Today I leave for a couple days.... DH is graduating tomorrow!!!!! I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooo VERYYYYYYYYYYYY prouddddddddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!! He's got Summa C*m Laude ropes around his neck!! How that man maintained PERFECT grades throughout everything he's been through, and being a wonderful husband and father at the same time, is beyond me. He's strong willed!

[ReneT]

Chris' comment:
besides why does bad behavior get a pass when you are dealing w/ family. Seems to me that those are the people who LEAST deserve it

See I agree w/ that statement 100%. I was talking to my bros and mother about how the loved ones get the short end of the stick while "strangers" seem to get the respect and consideration that's actually due to the loved ones. My bros were saying how the ones you are more close to gets the bad end of the deal while those you hardly know gets the good end. One shouldn't do wrong to either but when it comes to those who you are suppose to love/care about, they shouldn't be mistreated while someone you hardly knows gets treated better. So backwards! :confused:


That's very true Chellie. When I was in college, studying early child development (guess I should have been focusing on teen/early adult development :lol::lol::lol:) I remember my professor saying that the reason that is, is that they know the people closest to them will love them no matter what, and they don't know that about strangers, so they only show the best sides of themselves to other people while moms and dads tend to get the worst.

Hey Rene... your gonna be looking sooooooooooooooooooo hawt, be sure Lance don't get his hands on THOSE photos, he'll sell those too and I'm worried about WHO he may sell them to!!! ahahahahahahaahahahahah!!!! :-)

It's a good thing we can find some sort of light heartedness during a bad situation huh... :-)

heehee

Today I leave for a couple days.... DH is graduating tomorrow!!!!! I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooo VERYYYYYYYYYYYY prouddddddddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!! He's got Summa C*m Laude ropes around his neck!! How that man maintained PERFECT grades throughout everything he's been through, and being a wonderful husband and father at the same time, is beyond me. He's strong willed!

You guys have fun! That is so impressive! WOW!!! Yay for him!!!!!

[debilou]

Today I leave for a couple days.... DH is graduating tomorrow!!!!! I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooo VERYYYYYYYYYYYY prouddddddddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!! He's got Summa C*m Laude ropes around his neck!! How that man maintained PERFECT grades throughout everything he's been through, and being a wonderful husband and father at the same time, is beyond me. He's strong willed!

Congrats MR & MRS LAURA BACKWARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Christine]

Chris' comment:
besides why does bad behavior get a pass when you are dealing w/ family. Seems to me that those are the people who LEAST deserve it

See I agree w/ that statement 100%. I was talking to my bros and mother about how the loved ones get the short end of the stick while "strangers" seem to get the respect and consideration that's actually due to the loved ones. My bros were saying how the ones you are more close to gets the bad end of the deal while those you hardly know gets the good end. One shouldn't do wrong to either but when it comes to those who you are suppose to love/care about, they shouldn't be mistreated while someone you hardly knows gets treated better. So backwards! :confused:

whoooo so glad somebody got what I was trying to say! :D

[Christine]

wahooo Rene, you will be awesome!

WTG to both Laura and hubby. That is so awesome! Make sure to take lots of pictures. :yes:

Speaking of higher education. DH and I went up to the U today and I took a picture of Skaggs Hall, where I spent many many many classes. (think almost 4 solid years) They are building a new version coming soon, apparently. I am not sure if they are tearing the old one down or just adding on or what. Right now it looks quite a bit like it did when we went there, but SO many of the buildings around it have changed. It was a bit unreal feeling. Of course, I took a picture, since I still needed one for my PAD. Can you even believe I have been doing this for almost 2 months! I never never never got past about a week before. I am amazed!

[ReneT]

Speaking of higher education. DH and I went up to the U today and I took a picture of Skaggs Hall, where I spent many many many classes. (think almost 4 solid years) They are building a new version coming soon, apparently. I am not sure if they are tearing the old one down or just adding on or what. Right now it looks quite a bit like it did when we went there, but SO many of the buildings around it have changed. It was a bit unreal feeling. Of course, I took a picture, since I still needed one for my PAD. Can you even believe I have been doing this for almost 2 months! I never never never got past about a week before. I am amazed!

Yay Chris!!!!! That's awesome!! I have not even attempted that because I know it would never happen!!!! And I'd run out of ideas of what to take photos of. :rolleyes:

[volvoguy]

Hi GGs,

I saw a posting on FB this afternoon talking about an article in Professional Photographer mag that mentioned the ability to download photos from FB. If you upload a hi-res photo, it can be downloaded as a slightly less quality photo, but still very good quality. One person mentioned uploading with watermark and another said that 72dpi photos appear fine on FB, but would make poor quality images when printed.

We all learned a lot about people and ownership of our work from Rene's experience.

[addielee]

Hi ladies. Just a quick note to say I'm without internet at home for a week except via my smartphone so I will be a little MIA for a while. :hug:

[Shana34]

Hey guys. I just wanted to pop in and say hello....and I'll be doing so more often as I just got out of the situation I was in and I'm back at home. :D I've missed you all and I hope you're all doing well!!! :D

[ReneT]

Hi GGs,

I saw a posting on FB this afternoon talking about an article in Professional Photographer mag that mentioned the ability to download photos from FB. If you upload a hi-res photo, it can be downloaded as a slightly less quality photo, but still very good quality. One person mentioned uploading with watermark and another said that 72dpi photos appear fine on FB, but would make poor quality images when printed.

We all learned a lot about people and ownership of our work from Rene's experience.

That's interesting. I had seen on FB that you could choose to upload high res photos if you wanted but I never choose that because it says it takes 10x's longer.

[ReneT]

Hey guys. I just wanted to pop in and say hello....and I'll be doing so more often as I just got out of the situation I was in and I'm back at home. :D I've missed you all and I hope you're all doing well!!! :D

Hi Shana!!!!

[Christine]

Yay Chris!!!!! That's awesome!! I have not even attempted that because I know it would never happen!!!! And I'd run out of ideas of what to take photos of. :rolleyes:

well there have not been very many days where we don't have SOMETHING going on, hnmmmm does this surprise anyone? ;) In fact, one of things I want to do is take pics of stuff that mean something to me specifically, but haven't had many "empty" days so far, but I am compiling a list for those days then I will be ready :)

[Christine]

just got home from the swim team banquet, DD1 lettered and got the "oooooh he is cute" award. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: DH and I both busted out laughing.

(The team captains give out an award to every swimmer about something that is specific to him or her. Usually they are funny)

[Christine]

btw, Rene, what have you done to lose 23 pounds? That is fabulous, although you were pretty skinny when you were here, where did you have 23 pounds to lose?

I should have lost some weight today for sure. I did a 20 min Jillian DVD that was a KILLER this am. Little while after that dh wanted to go play basketball for an hour, so we did, then tonight, the whole family went and played for 1 1/2 hours with a couple of dd1's friends. My knees are now KILLING me!

[Christine]

Hmmmmm do you ever get the feeling you are just talking to yourself? ;)

[debilou]

Hi ladies. Just a quick note to say I'm without internet at home for a week except via my smartphone so I will be a little MIA for a while. :hug:

Miss you Addie.. Hope you can at least scrap a lot..

Shana, good to hear from you hope all is well...

[debilou]

just got home from the swim team banquet, DD1 lettered and got the "oooooh he is cute" award. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: DH and I both busted out laughing.

(The team captains give out an award to every swimmer about something that is specific to him or her. Usually they are funny)

That is funny.. can't wait to see the photos.. :rofl:

[debilou]

Hmmmmm do you ever get the feeling you are just talking to yourself? ;)

Who me..

[debilou]

btw, Rene, what have you done to lose 23 pounds? That is fabulous, although you were pretty skinny when you were here, where did you have 23 pounds to lose?

I should have lost some weight today for sure. I did a 20 min Jillian DVD that was a KILLER this am. Little while after that dh wanted to go play basketball for an hour, so we did, then tonight, the whole family went and played for 1 1/2 hours with a couple of dd1's friends. My knees are now KILLING me!

Rene, NEEDS TO LOSE 23 pounds.. then i must need to lose about 150 or so..

Rene is skinny.. Rene what do you want to be a size negative 4..???

Now really.. Ok, I need to lose weight.. but really rene..

Oh Christine do you lke the Jillian workout???

[Shana34]

Wow, Congrats Rene on the 23 pounds!!! I second the question as to how you did it! I've lost about 65 since August and I'm at the point now where I need to actually start working at it too. LOL (Scary I've lost that much and I still have about 100 to lose....I let myself get out of control for all those years.)

Thanks for the welcome back. I wasn't in a very good situation all those months. I was with someone (well he didn't want to "commit," but it was like we were a couple) who was emotional abusive and manipulative. I finally woke up Wednesday and called my best friend and brother....had 2 ex-marines come to get me out. So I couldn't turn back. Last night was rough, but I'm feeling a bit better today. Like my brother said, this is the start of a new chapter. :D

[ReneT]

Hmmmmm do you ever get the feeling you are just talking to yourself? ;)

I feel like I'm talking to myself a majority of the time, mostly because I am. :rofl::rofl::rofl:

About the weight loss, I have just been eating less and eating healthy since December. One day a week I eat what I want, but usually by that time, my stomach is just used to eating less, so I don't crave the foods I used to, or want to eat as much as I used to. And it's been easier with Gary being out of town in Amarillo most of the week. I eat lots of grilled chicken, fish, and fruit. Rarely bread. Stopped drinking Coke except on my one day a week, and drink LOTS of water. And the stress of the last couple of weeks has had a great deal to do with it too. I don't want to eat when I'm depressed or stressed.

I was so excited because 2 days ago I fit into my size 6 jeans that have no stretch in them. Before I got serious, I was wearing an 8 that had LOTS of stretch, so I figure technically, that was a 10. My ultimate goal would be a size 4, but that's never where my body was naturally even when I was young, so not sure that's going to happen.

So I'm about to go get ready to meet Lindsey for 2 appointments with the photographer and wedding venue, so finalize some things since she's in town for her bridal shower tomorrow. Based on the texts I got from her last night about today, I'm guessing she's going to act like nothing happened.

Shana, glad that you got out of the bad situation!!! No one deserves that!!!

[debilou]

I second what Christine says Shana... Yeah YOU!

And, I'm soooo proud of my Husband.. He was in the bowling alley.. this little 9 year old boy was there to buy a new ball. He knew the cost and, he had worked and saved up for it. But, he didn't know that it cost to have the ball drilled. So, when he went to pay for it, he found out it cost an additional $40. Well, this little 9 year old was almost in tears. He had worked so long to save up for this special ball. Now how much longer before he could get the ball he wanted.. so, he walked out of the pro shop.. with his head down.. (his mom was still there - asking when they ordered and, how long before he could order again, etc.)..

So, Keith watched the little boy for awhile, and, it just broke his heart.. so, he went back to the pro shop and, handed the mother the $40. and, said, here you go - get your son his ball. If you ever want to pay me back you can.. or instead do something nice for someone else.

Well, she called out to her son.. and, (Meanwhile Keith leaves.. but, can kind of hear what is going on)... and, she tells her son.. he can get his ball. that this nice man gave him the money for the ball.. Well, he ordered the ball, and, he will have it in time for this Saturday's tournament.. He was so happy.

But, not as happy as Keith... I love him so much.. He does so much good with his bowling programs..

He has got one girl a full ride bowling scholarship... he is actively working on another one...

I know why I married him...

[Christine]

Rene, NEEDS TO LOSE 23 pounds.. then i must need to lose about 150 or so..

Rene is skinny.. Rene what do you want to be a size negative 4..???

Now really.. Ok, I need to lose weight.. but really rene..

Oh Christine do you lke the Jillian workout???

Yes I really do, I have a couple of DVDs of hers and let me tell you you WORK HARD!

Wow, Congrats Rene on the 23 pounds!!! I second the question as to how you did it! I've lost about 65 since August and I'm at the point now where I need to actually start working at it too. LOL (Scary I've lost that much and I still have about 100 to lose....I let myself get out of control for all those years.)

Thanks for the welcome back. I wasn't in a very good situation all those months. I was with someone (well he didn't want to "commit," but it was like we were a couple) who was emotional abusive and manipulative. I finally woke up Wednesday and called my best friend and brother....had 2 ex-marines come to get me out. So I couldn't turn back. Last night was rough, but I'm feeling a bit better today. Like my brother said, this is the start of a new chapter. :D

Shana I am so glad you are out of that situation! I was worried about you. Stay strong and remember you do NOT deserve to be treated like that!

I second what Christine says Shana... Yeah YOU!

And, I'm soooo proud of my Husband.. He was in the bowling alley.. this little 9 year old boy was there to buy a new ball. He knew the cost and, he had worked and saved up for it. But, he didn't know that it cost to have the ball drilled. So, when he went to pay for it, he found out it cost an additional $40. Well, this little 9 year old was almost in tears. He had worked so long to save up for this special ball. Now how much longer before he could get the ball he wanted.. so, he walked out of the pro shop.. with his head down.. (his mom was still there - asking when they ordered and, how long before he could order again, etc.)..

So, Keith watched the little boy for awhile, and, it just broke his heart.. so, he went back to the pro shop and, handed the mother the $40. and, said, here you go - get your son his ball. If you ever want to pay me back you can.. or instead do something nice for someone else.

Well, she called out to her son.. and, (Meanwhile Keith leaves.. but, can kind of hear what is going on)... and, she tells her son.. he can get his ball. that this nice man gave him the money for the ball.. Well, he ordered the ball, and, he will have it in time for this Saturday's tournament.. He was so happy.

But, not as happy as Keith... I love him so much.. He does so much good with his bowling programs..

He has got one girl a full ride bowling scholarship... he is actively working on another one...

I know why I married him...

ahhhhhh that is so sweet! It made me cry!

[ReneT]

I second what Christine says Shana... Yeah YOU!

And, I'm soooo proud of my Husband.. He was in the bowling alley.. this little 9 year old boy was there to buy a new ball. He knew the cost and, he had worked and saved up for it. But, he didn't know that it cost to have the ball drilled. So, when he went to pay for it, he found out it cost an additional $40. Well, this little 9 year old was almost in tears. He had worked so long to save up for this special ball. Now how much longer before he could get the ball he wanted.. so, he walked out of the pro shop.. with his head down.. (his mom was still there - asking when they ordered and, how long before he could order again, etc.)..

So, Keith watched the little boy for awhile, and, it just broke his heart.. so, he went back to the pro shop and, handed the mother the $40. and, said, here you go - get your son his ball. If you ever want to pay me back you can.. or instead do something nice for someone else.

Well, she called out to her son.. and, (Meanwhile Keith leaves.. but, can kind of hear what is going on)... and, she tells her son.. he can get his ball. that this nice man gave him the money for the ball.. Well, he ordered the ball, and, he will have it in time for this Saturday's tournament.. He was so happy.

But, not as happy as Keith... I love him so much.. He does so much good with his bowling programs..

He has got one girl a full ride bowling scholarship... he is actively working on another one...

I know why I married him...

Oh my gosh Debi, that is the sweetest thing ever!!!!!! What a great guy you have!!!!!

[ReneT]

Today is the bridal shower. So I've gotta get my gift wrapped. It's at my friend's house who so sweetly offered to host it, so that's good. I'll feel comfortable there.

Yesterday after noon I went to my DMIL's house and we talked for about 5 hours! She's just the greatest, and knows a lot more about what's going on then she appears to most of the time. It felt good to get it all off my chest, and we talked about a great deal of other things too. I felt better last night than I have in a long time, and I know Gary probably enjoyed the break from having to listen to me, so all in all it was a good evening.

Tonight is date night. Yay!

Have a great day everyone!

[debilou]

Today is the bridal shower. So I've gotta get my gift wrapped. It's at my friend's house who so sweetly offered to host it, so that's good. I'll feel comfortable there.

Yesterday after noon I went to my DMIL's house and we talked for about 5 hours! She's just the greatest, and knows a lot more about what's going on then she appears to most of the time. It felt good to get it all off my chest, and we talked about a great deal of other things too. I felt better last night than I have in a long time, and I know Gary probably enjoyed the break from having to listen to me, so all in all it was a good evening.

Tonight is date night. Yay!


Have a great day everyone!


Have fun....:love3::love3:

[Maggie Macpaine]

Contest is done. My kids pulled it together and walked away with a first. Why do 8th graders insist on saving their best efforts for the event and not making their best a regular practice?? I may be grayer and bald, but I was pleased with them last night.

[debilou]

Contest is done. My kids pulled it together and walked away with a first. Why do 8th graders insist on saving their best efforts for the event and not making their best a regular practice?? I may be grayer and bald, but I was pleased with them last night.

Congrats! You should be one proud mama!!!!!!!

[Christine]

wahoo Maggie!

[Shana34]

Wow Debi...you have a wonderful man to call yours!! That was so sweet of him. I wish there were a lot more people like him in this world.

Have fun at the bridal shower and date night Rene!!!

Congrats Maggie!!!

So I've been being abducted pretty much 24/7 since I got out. I know how much everyone loves me, and I feel so bad because it's been rough. I try to remind myself that HE made the mistake and HE treated me badly, but I miss him still. And then I get down thinking I'm the sick one for still missing and loving him. What's really bothering me lately is that I'm still lying. I've NEVER been a liar, and I prided myself on that...but he turned me in to one...I had to hide things and lie just to get by. I made the choice to lie ultimately, so I need to face my own responsibility in everything, but is it so wrong to feel like most of it wasn't my fault? I mean he would pressure and beat me down mentally and get upset and throw a tantrum until I gave in and then build me back up...so IS it my fault? But anyway, back to the lying. I've been struggling VERY badly since I left...and he's contacted me. My friends and family don't want me to talk to him at all. I was honest with them that he texted me and I texted him back the past few days, but I've hidden the fact that I have spoken to him on the phone. One friend that I've been staying with since last night (she's trying to keep me busy and in good spirits) has been cool about us talking. She doesn't think it's THAT bad that I talk to him every once in a while. So today he texts me and tells me he has a car....he misses me so much and he just wants to see me. I've missed him too...very much...so I asked her if she had a problem with him picking me up for an hour and I'll come right back. She got upset, but said I'm an adult and I can make my own decisions. He picked me up, and now that I'm back, I'm thinking I needed it. He was nice, but he still insists he's not an addict. He now has our landlord (and his boss) helping him out, so it's not like he's going to hit rock bottom anytime soon. He's lying to him....the landlord thinks he's clean. But he told me how the landlord has been so understanding and how he thinks that I did a lot of wrong things. Pretty much he thinks I moved out because I'm depressed and it's just my clinical depression....not that Eddie did anything to CAUSE me being depressed...I am just overly emotional and over-react to everything.

So now I have to keep the fact that I saw him from my family and the rest of my friends because I'm afraid they'll hate me, and I have the friends I'm with right now mad at me. But it helped. I know he's not going to change...and I REALLY have to stay strong and not give him any leeway until he gets clean...if ANY at all...ever. I told him that in the car, and he told me that he IS clean. Then explained that since he's not out buying it on the street now, he considers himself clean. It's a losing battle. So now I'm just guilty that I was weak again and saw him...despite the fact that I have a group of people that are willing to do whatever it takes to keep me away from him for my own good. I just wish I could explain to them how I feel...I wish they could see that I think there's a good guy there...once you get past the addiction...and that I don't want to lose the hope that there IS hope for him. When do you give up that hope, though?

Sorry to go on so long, I just don't know what to do or say anymore...I'm lost. I know I'm loved, and they're here for me, but I also feel imprisoned right now. Like MY every move is being watched. I wish I had never met him, but I did...and I fell in love with him...and I still care for him. If I could just switch it off in an instant, I would, because I'm not going to choose him over my friends and family anymore, but I just wish they'd be a little more understanding that I AM struggling....hard. There WERE good points to my time with him. It wasn't ALL bad. He does have a light that shines through every once in a while.

[debilou]

I'm so sorry you are going thru all of this shana... But I really think your friends are giving you good advice. I know it's hard to leave him...

Maybe this would help - i don't know what he is addicted to - but tell him - you won't see, talk, text him until he gets his 3 month - AA or NA token... would that help..

At least that would give you a break, and, it would give him a goal.

And, then you could find out if he is the decent guy you think he is.

[Shana34]

I'm so sorry you are going thru all of this shana... But I really think your friends are giving you good advice. I know it's hard to leave him...

Maybe this would help - i don't know what he is addicted to - but tell him - you won't see, talk, text him until he gets his 3 month - AA or NA token... would that help..

At least that would give you a break, and, it would give him a goal.

And, then you could find out if he is the decent guy you think he is.


I told him today that I couldn't see him again until he was clean, but I like that idea even better. He's already called me since I saw him to tell me he loves me and he can't wait to see me again. I'm actually going to say that to him tonight. I don't know if I should call Stu (the landlord/boss.) I grew up with Stu's kids, and my dad is friends with him. My parents paid our security deposit and I would really like to get that back for them if possible, but more importantly, I'd like Stu to know the truth. Eddie's a master manipulater. He told me that Stu told him either yesterday or this morning that if Eddie stayed on track and kept up with everything, Stu's going to treat him like his own son and pretty much give him a car and a house that he can start renting out. Stu thinks I was in the wrong for talking to my friends about personal matters. Is it that wrong to turn to your friends and be honest with them that your "significant other" has a drug problem?

[debilou]

No Shana IT IS NOT WRONG. Every person I know with a drug or alcohol problem does EXACTLY what your boyfriend is doing. THAT IS WHAT THEY DO! I know I have several in my own family - i have close friends with them in their family!

the story is always the same - they are Manipulalators - that's how they cruise thru life. they find some one like you - and, they always tell them the same story.. They love them, they will never do it again.

I can tell you the same story from at least 5 alcoholics that i know - what you are doing is ENABLING him. As long as you ENABLE him, he can continue to do what he is doing.

Unless you put a boundary down - like - you MUST SHOW ME YOUR AA 3 month token.

or something like that - nothing will ever change

I can tell you about my 50 year old brother - with 3 kids - but you know what - his wife still puts up with him

I don't - I won't talk to him - won't be in the same room with him - he is a liar - he is a con man. he is a drunk. I won't tolerate him any longer.

He is running out of people to enable him tho.

He is only one that i know. without breaking confidential issues - I could go on and on.

they all say the same thing - and, will ask for money, your love, your time. etc.

SAY NO! Get away!

Unless he cleans up his act! Walk away now.

If he does clean up his act. Then and only then go back.. and, if he ever faulters - and, I mean a single drink...

You walk away again..

I hate to sound so harsh about it.. but I've lived with it in my own family for too many years.

I know what it's done to my parents - to my brother's wife.. his children..

It's an unacceptable way to live.