Kids Say the Darndest things......

[Nicole Young]

...you know they do! And I am POSITIVE that you have all heard some doozies!!!!

So.....here is my "UNOFFICIAL" challenge to you.......

Part 1---
SHARE IT!!!! Share your "Kids Say The Darndest Things" moment with all of us!!!! Cuz we all need a good laugh!!!! Just write it in this thread, so we all can have a good giggle!

Part 2---
SCRAP IT!!!!! Now get those darn moments down in writing!!!! Create a layout using whatever you have in your stash and share your moment with all DSP land!!!!!

Part 3---- (for those brave souls among you!)
SHOW IT!!!!! Got a high school graduation coming up??? How about a wedding?? Or maybe your GROWN children need a little "reminder" of what darling children they were!!! Send them a link to your DSP gallery or print out the layout and share it with them!!!!!!

[webfrau]

Fun thread idea. There are always silly things they say and for the life of me I can't think of one at the moment. I'll put my thinking cap on.

[Kathleen]

OK here is one that I probably shouldn't put in public, but here goes ...

The facts:
+ My daughter is 4
+ Being the line leader at school and gymnastics is a big deal, and carries over into other adventures (going for a walk, who goes up the stairs first, etc.)
+ A 3 liter bottle of wine is a really big bottle of wine (equivalent to 4 bottles)
+ On the night in question, I was the designated driver

The story:
We had a very family Valentine's Day. We went bowling with another family, kids and grown-ups had a blast. We continued our adventures and were going to meet two other couples. On the way in the car, the 7 of us (the bowling families) are all being very silly, singing songs, telling jokes, etc. My husband poses the question to the adults, which 3 liter bottle should we get on our way to dinner?

All Delaney hears is "liter/leader", and says repeatedly, "I want to be the line leader!"

Maybe not so funny if you aren't a wine drinker, but we laughed about it for days.

And, Nicole, ... I know your kids keep you rolling in the aisles! Where is your story????

[mizanoa]

I have a three year old son. I am 37 weeks pregnant with our second (also a boy). My SIL bought us a baby gift of three outfits. When I told my son that these new clothes were for his baby brother, he asked if we were going to put the clothes in my belly so the baby could wear them!! Pretty logical, I suppose!!

[mariafer]

This is a funny thread. I just made a post about some funnies my daughter said recently at my blog: www.perfectlyandwonderfullymade.blogspot.com if you want to take a look... but here I wanted to post a couple of funnies of my niece and nephew when they were little (now teenagers) because those are the ones I want to scrap soon!

My nephew was 4 when I got married. When my dh and I got engaged (my husband proposed at a family gathering with uncles and aunts and everybody) my nephew ran in to me and said... so when are you having the baby? Obviously I was stunned and a bit embarassed and said but I am not having a baby. And he said then why are you getting married? He asked me this question in public 2 other times after this. I kept telling him that there where other reasons to get married he just apparently didn't buy them.

my dh now my husband was lying on the couch when he visited on afternoon and my niece (then 3) went to stare at him for a long while. She finally came over to me and said. Jorge must be mean. And I said why? and she said he must be mean because he has green eyes. I was like don't say that it isn't true, your grandmother has green eyes too don't you remember. She said, then I guess she must be mean also. I asked her where she got her information and very seriously she looked at me and said 100 and 1 dalmations.

[SuzanneCWalker]

oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh! i love this, nic!!! man, do i have stories...... must think!!

[Raphne]

Both of my kids were adopted at older ages, so for attachment purposes we've co-slept. Now we're working on getting them to sleep in their own beds, in their own room, without one of us! "Sleeping with Mommy in Brown" (our bedroom is brown) is a very coveted treat, and the 3 year old really tends to get loud and silly at bedtime, and can stay awake playing with her fingers in the dark for hours! So we have a rule: If the 3 year old keeps the 6 year old awake, he gets to go sleep with Mommy in Brown. If the 6 year old keeps the 3 year old awake, SHE gets to go sleep with Mommy in Brown. It works extremely well-- at least so far lol

Last night, after answering the "What happens if X keeps me awake?" questions again, the 6 year old thought for a minute, then turned to his sister and said:

I want you to keep me awake for 30 minutes so I can go sleep with Mommy in Brown!

[Nicole Young]

Yes I will definitely have to share a few....
one really cute one that I can think of off the top of my head....

--My 3 year old DS's new excuse for not wanting to go to be is being scared, this happened one night as we were getting ready to go to bed

Tyler: "Mommy, I scared!"
Me: "What are you scared of Tyler?"
Tyler: "Monsters"
Me: "Well there is NO such thing as monsters Tyler, let pray and ask God if He can help us not be scared anymore"
---so we say a little prayer about not being scared-----
Me: "Do you feel better? Jesus will always help us, cuz He is in your heart"
Tyler: "OH MOMMY!!!! I FEEL HIM!!!!!"
Me: "...you do?????"
Tyler: "He walkin' around in my tummy Mommy!!!! I feel Him!!!!!"

[Nicole Young]

and Suz...I KNOW you have some good stories!!! Start sharing girl!!!!!

[Kathleen]

Thanks for the morning laughs, ladies!

[ReneT]

The first one that comes to mind for me is one day when my son was probably 4 or 5 years old, we had just been to church. We lived in Sterling City, a small West Texas town of about 1500 people. Everyone knew everyone else and we were good friends with our pastor. So after church, we went to lunch with our pastor and his family. We all order and the food comes. So the pastor says, "Let's bless this meal." Drew then proceeds to say, "We don't pray at restaurants, only at home." I wanted to crawl under the table! :lol:

[Pezjunky]

For a while my 2 yr old was staying up really late at night. To try and get him sleepy I'd turn off all the lights and we'd watch old episodes 'House' online, which was just interesting enough to keep him sitting still but just boring enough to let him go to sleep. After a few nights of that he'd start walking around with a scarf or even shoelace hanging around his neck like a stethoscope and tell us he was "Dr. House". One day he was doing this and I asked him if he was being Dr House and he said "Nope, I'm Dr. Appointment!"

[GrandmaCrys]

Very cute thread, Nicole! I don't have any pictures from our past with which to scrap these, but I can remember the stories as though they were yesterday.

I've always worked at early jobs and would have to take my boys to the babysitter's while it was still dark. (At least in the wintertime)

One morning while all of us were sitting in the front seat of my car (remember, back in the 70's we werent' concerned about carseats/backseats. :( :rolleyes:) on the way to the sitter's my younger son, (probably 4-5 at the time) sitting in the middle, looked up at me and said:

"Mommy...you look so pretty in the dark!"

(Just don't let me out in the daytime! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:)

Jump forward to the next fall and we're at my younger brother's wedding.

The bride is walking down the aisle and the same son leans over and says:

"Aunt Kathy looks as pretty as she ever will!"

(Sorry, Auntie, it's all downhill from here!! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:)

[Nicole Young]

Bahahahah, I am loving these stories guys!!!! Too funny!!!!

So we had a semi-hilarious moment at the park today....

DS falls down and scrapes knee and starts crying when he informs me
"Mommy, I fall and my knee is just broken all apart!!!! Its SOOOOO bad!!!!!"

Ummm there was NO blood, barely a scrape but a dramatic 10 minute bawling and screaming fest unfolded from this minor injury!!! Uughhhhhh!!!

[Corgi Lover]

Hehehehe - this is a great thread! I am going to go work on a page right now that I must scrap! But in the meantime...

DD fell yesterday and there was a minor scratch on the knee and a small cut on her hand. Well, she cried and cried and we HAD to go get bandaides right then. She limped and cried and had to show everyone that would stop long enough. LOL I know it hurt but it totally cracks me up how dramatic they can be! The more tired they are the worse it is too!

[Corgi Lover]

I can remember a funny story of me from when I was little.

One summer I kept getting severe hives. They were huge and all over. It was aweful and I was so miserable. One afternoon my mom had called the dr. and was waiting for them to call back. I finally told her to hurry up and call Dr. John! (this is funny because Dr. John was our large animal veterinarian as we had a dairy farm and when an animal was down or sick he came out to the farm and he was always fast).

[JacH]

I'm so glad I can tell this story somewhere, as I can't put it on my blog because my friend reads it....

My friend is going to have a baby next week. I was talking to my three-year-old daughter about it, and she said, "I didn't know she was going to have a baby." I asked her if she had noticed my friend's big tummy. "I saw it. But Mom, her bum is so big too! I just thought she was bigger than you. You don't have a big bum or a big tummy, Mom."

Too funny.

[jennyharris28]

My corny story involves the recent wedding of my hubby's brother. When she saw the bride she said "mommy look its a princess" I replied, "No they are getting married."
She replied "oh, its a merry princess."

The conversation continued when they left for their honeymoon. She asked and we tried to explain they were leaving to spend time by themselves, no kids, since they got married. In her five year old logic she said "You and Daddy should get married so I can go to Grandpa's." I have no idea how she thought that up. We have been married 12 years.

The conversation kept going when she asked if she could get married. I told her she could when she was all grown up. She replied "Will I be grown up by Christmas? Then I could ask Santa." (I think ask Santa for a dress, but maybe she wants to be Mrs. Santa) Either way weddings were a bit hard for her to fathom.

[jennyharris28]

What luck! My new sister-in-law had posted her wedding pics and there was one of my DD hugging her. (annoying her really - she followed the bride everywhere till we sat down for refreshments). But they were cute and my DD loved my SIL's dress. My story is above and I just couldn't wait to do this layout. Super fun way to preserve memories. Click on it to see the full version - I just posted it in the Cafe gallery because I had no idea where else. Can't wait to see all the others!
http://www.digitalscrapbookplace.com/gallery/data/4918/thumbs/AprJBreception04.jpg (http://www.digitalscrapbookplace.com/gallery/showphoto.php?photo=318456)

[moog25]

The first thing that came to mind was one I already scrapped in 2005.My older kids and their friends were sitting talking about various things as Gemma, age 4 was sitting quietly nearby. The conversation turned to horoscopes and their signs and Gemma suddenly announced "And I'm an aquarium!"
http://www.digitalscrapbookplace.com/gallery/showphoto.php?photo=51724&ppuser=24217

Going back a bit farther, When Christopher, my oldest was about 4 we were standing in the local market with my sister Sarah when he asked her how old she was. She replied "How old do you think I am?" He thought for a moment and said "8?" We got a good laugh out of that one.

[moog25]

I thought of another one.
When Chris was in first grade he had a very nice young teacher who unfortunately had acne. We were in the middle of town one day when I asked him "Isn't that your teacher over there?", to which he replied, very loudly, "Does she have pimples all over her face?" I was so embarrassed!

[Nicole Young]

LOL, ohhh I have been peaking in here all day reading new stories!!! Love them!!!

So tonight....DS (3 1/2 years) wants a bandaid for a non-existent scratch and asks Daddy...conversation is as follows:

Tyler: "I need a bandaid! My finger hurts"
Daddy: "You dont need a bandaid Tyler! You're fine!"
Tyler: "Me really need a bandaid"
Daddy: "No Tyler. Who's the boss?" (only a dad would find this to be a logical question!)
Tyler thinks for a few moments, then replies...... "Mommy is!"

Ahhhh gotta love those loyal kids!

[PQ FRAN]

Great idea Nicole!~

[Sammimagoo]

oh this is a great idea Nicole :)
The stories so far are funny!!
I only just did a layout on my youngest a few days ago...no matter how many times I tried to tell him he was positive this little reptile was called an "ecko" :)

http://www.digitalscrapbookplace.com/forum/../gallery/data/994/thumbs/I-caught-an-Ecko-125.jpg (http://www.digitalscrapbookplace.com/forum/../gallery/showphoto.php?photo=318192)
I caught an ECKO (http://www.digitalscrapbookplace.com/forum/../gallery/showphoto.php?photo=318192)

[Donut]

Great idea Nicole and these are all so funny!!

I have always tried to write things like this down as I know how easy it is to forget them!!
Here are a few my kids have come out with over the years, (mainly by my resident comedian Emily! )

Alex (13) listening to a song online that a friend had sent him a link to. " I think this signer is Australian. Either that or he's got a blocked nose"

Driving home on the motorway one night we saw a plane overhead that appeared to be going really fast.
Emily (12) "Look at that plane! Its going really fast!"
Becky (17) "No Em, its not really going that fast, it just looks as if it is. It's an illusion"
Emily - "No, no I don't illuge"

I was playing a Dire Straits CD. 'Money for Nothing' came on and I was singing away.
Emily(11) "Mummy? Is this a One Hit Wonder?"

And one more:

I was talking to the kids about some questions I wanted to ask them so that I could do a layout on their answers.
I asked Emily(12) "What does your Mum do all day?" She answered "Play on the computer" I laughed and said "I wish! I play on the computer in the evenings after dinner when its relaxing time." To which Emily answered " Huh!! Thats when I'm home and it's not relaxing when I'm around, I'm a heck of a handful!"

[Scrappy Mama]

This is a great thread! I'm going to have to think about this.

[wndyeliza]

Here's one of mine from 2 days ago...my youngest daughter and her hubby are here from Montana. Its no secret that my grandchildren are very important to me, but also to my other kids as well...so Jenni calls her sister and here's the granddaughter crying in the background.

Jenni: Whats wrong with Jayna?
Melissa: Ian's hitting.
Jenni: Let me talk to him....Dada, why are you hitting? huh? You know its not right to hit! Guess what? I'm at Grandma and Grandpa Steve's house!
Ian: oh oh....

[ReneT]

LOL, ohhh I have been peaking in here all day reading new stories!!! Love them!!!

So tonight....DS (3 1/2 years) wants a bandaid for a non-existent scratch and asks Daddy...conversation is as follows:

Tyler: "I need a bandaid! My finger hurts"
Daddy: "You dont need a bandaid Tyler! You're fine!"
Tyler: "Me really need a bandaid"
Daddy: "No Tyler. Who's the boss?" (only a dad would find this to be a logical question!)
Tyler thinks for a few moments, then replies...... "Mommy is!"

Ahhhh gotta love those loyal kids!

Way to train him early, Nicole! :lol::lol:

[lmilgram]

I've already scrapped on of my favorite conversations with DD:http://www.digitalscrapbookplace.com/gallery/data/500/thumbs/EMJ_200910_Leopard.jpg (http://www.digitalscrapbookplace.com/gallery/showphoto.php?photo=284229&ppuser=20717)
Am I a Leopard? (http://www.digitalscrapbookplace.com/gallery/showphoto.php?photo=284229&ppuser=20717)

but just recently as she approached her 4th birthday she came to me and said:
"Mom, according to my research, it has been determined that I need a pink Leapster for my birthday"

I want to know...when did she start doing conclusive research????

[GrandmaCrys]

I've worked for a fertilizer manufacturing plant for 30 years.

When my older son was in kindergarten, it came the day when each child was to tell the class about their parents' occupation.

DS proudly told the class, "My Mom talks on the phone all day and tells the truckers where to go."

:yikes: :yikes: :yikes: :yikes: :yikes:

(Dispatching is one of my responsibilities. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:)

[ReneT]

Oh here's one I just remembered: When DS was about 3 I guess, we were at my parents' house and my mom was asking Drew what he would like to eat. He said "mackey bonies". I had to explain to her he wanted macaroni and cheese.

[jpizel]

Okay, gals, hope this isn't too spicy!

A couple of months ago, my DD (who's 2 1/2 yo) and I were sitting on the couch and my tummy grumbled, so I rubbed my tummy and said "Mommy's hungry." Well, maybe a couple of days later, I was sitting with her and she reached up and touched both breasts and said "Mommy's hungry!" I started laughing so hard I almost peed my pants. Sure enough, she repeated the performance in front DH a couple of days later. I'm just glad that she hasn't had the urge to repeat that in public!

Sorry, gals, you won't see that in a LO! Ha!

[Chellie]

I am pregnant for the 3rd time. Michael, my oldest says to me, "You need to go to your appointment to push the baby out." He's anxious for the new baby to get here. He says he wants a "siser" (sister). The gender is unknown at this point.

[pinky7]

Thank God for mommies! MY mother wrote down something I said when I was about 5! We had bottled water that had fluoride in it and my mother overheard me saying t my brother, "Don't give the cat fluoridated water. It makes your teeth strong and he bites, you know!"

[MoldyMum]

I remember a couple of years ago, I had to go for an x-ray (which involved removing my clothing and wearing one of those "Beautiful" hospital gowns). My DS was in the very busy waiting room with my Partner. He saw me coming out of the x-ray to get changed back into my clothes, so he ran over to me ( I was in a cubicle with a curtain across). I was crouched down on my haunches to get my clothing from the plastic basket when he pulled the curtain back...well...(I hope it's ok to write this). at the top of his voice and within earshot of those in the waiting room he said...Mummy, why are your Boobies resting on your knees!!!:shocked:
I could hear the laughter from the waiting room...and I'm not putting that in an LO either :rofl:

[shazzt]

Me to my sons: "You are so cute"
Son #1: "We are not cute, we are handsome!"

So no self esteem issues there then :)

[lmilgram]

another quick one...

2 days ago I took the girls (aged 4 and 21 months) to a Memorial Day Parade. On the way home in the car my youngest had put her American Flag into her mouth and my older girl yelled..."Mom, Alaina is eating her flag...she can't do that...IT'S MADE IN CHINA!!!!"

[Jill W]

Great thread Nicole and wonderful "memories" that everyone has posted!!

My family just returned from trip to Florida with my 87 year old mom - my great nephew, who is 4 1/2 is not shy whatsoever. On the tram @ Disneyworld he said to everyone around him (the tram was full) "I am on vacation with my Great Grandma Dorfie (Dorothy). She is very very very very very old."


Hope the next one isn't too out of bounds ... When our son Jacob was in his latter days of grade school he wondered where babies "really" came from ... so we told him the "real" truth ... his expression changed - he made a funny face and said "Oh - YUCK!! Didn't I get hair in my eyes?" :rofl:

[just-pjz]

Oh, such a great thread idea, Nicole!!

I have a couple....
A couple years ago, I was thumbing threw some photos and came across some of me when I was pregnant with my oldest...They were the nice side view, showing the belly.
My oldest sat down next to me and I asked him if he know who that was in the picture.
him: "That's you, Momma, but you were fat!"
me: *giggle* "No, I was pregnant. You were in my belly."
him: *furrowed brow* *wide eyes* *panicked voice* "You mean you ATE me???"
me: "Nooo! You were growing in my belly waiting to be born."
we talked more about it and I thought he was ok....until later.
That night at bedtime, I was tucking him in and said, very seriously,
"Now 'member Momma, you can't eat me anymore. I'm too big."

Another favorite of mine is the discussion he and I had about the tooth fairy one night while we were waiting for Daddy to come tuck him in. He had lost a tooth and we had it placed under his pillow and he was excited about it. The convo went on and I asked him if he knew what she looked like.
him: "She has long hair. Curly."
me: "What color is it?"
him: "It's black. No. It's purple and shiny."
me: "What else?"
him: "She has a pink dress and wears sparkly red tap shoes."
me: *eyes big* "Wow! She IS fancy!"
him: "Where does she live Momma?"
me: "Oh..in Tooth Fairy Land, far away."
him: "How old is she?"
me: "I don't know. She's been around for some time...she use to visit me when I was little."
him: "Wow. She must be old..like maybe 32 or something."

[Corgi Lover]

this is so much fun!

Here is another quick one:

As I grew up on a dairy farm we always raised a few beef cows for...well...beef! LOL The day came when the cattle trailer back up to the barn to take the beef away. My mom kept us kids in the house and we could go out once they were loaded. Always afraid we would be upset she cautiously took us out. My grandfather was there helping load them. I was about three at the time walked up to the trailer peeked in through the slots and exclaimed, "WOW! Grandpa, that sure is a lot of hamburger in there!" LOL I guess it was just a fact of life for me.

[nekobus]

When my daughter was about 3 or so, she was out in the car with my Mom, who looked back at her and said "your shoes are on the wrong feet". My dd burst into tears and said "these are the only feet I have!"

[jpizel]

Lovin this....Gives me a chuckle and a smile on my face especially at those times when the kids are getting on your last nerve!

[renee s]

So many stories, where do I start?

When our youngest son and daughter were about 4 and 3, we had been teaching them to not just apolgize to each other when they hurt them, but to go to the other person and ask for their forgiveness.
So, one day our son was swinging something around in the house and it accidently hit her little sister, and of course she started crying.
Our son went right up to her and asked.. I'm sorry, will you forgive me? And with tears in her eyes, our daughter said, "No, thank you!"
I guess at 3 she handn't quite learned the lesson on forgiveness, but she was polite!

[cherebus]

I have one from just the other day. I've been jokingly calling Alex the crumb king because he leaves a pile of crumbs where he sits at the table, to rival my dad. The other night he was asking for more chicken after he'd already eaten quite a bit so DH asked him if he was chicken boy. He got all huffy and said "Nooooo Daddy, I'm the Crumb KING!!!!"

[nkscheid]

o.k. I have a story...
We went out for breakfast one morning with my niece and her two children Brody, then age 3 and Chandler then age 8 months.

(By the way, my niece breastfed both children for the first two years of their life).

Anyway, as we were getting the kids out of their car seats, I asked Brody "what are you going to order for breakfast?" Brody said "pancakes!!" I said "that's good, do you think Chandler will want pancakes?" Brody said "no, no, she likes boobies!!"

I just don't know how to scrap that one!!

[shazzt]

LOL - that would be an interesting page!! :)

[Nicole Young]

These are all so funny!!! So my DS had another great one yesterday!
A conversation while my DH and DS were vegging on the couch....
DH:"Isn't this fun Tyler, just us boys!"
DS:"Daddy? Your a boy? You not a man anymore????" (said with extreme concern!)


I guess once you have become a man you are no longer allowed to refer to yourself as a boy!

[Nicole Young]

bumpin this thread so I can hear more stories!!!!

DS in the car today with the winds rolled down adn the wind blowing in his face yells....

MOMMMY MOMMY....I DRINKING THE WIND!!!! I TASTIN' IT!!!!!!

wonder what it tastes like????

[renee s]

LOL! Bugs??




bumpin this thread so I can hear more stories!!!!

DS in the car today with the winds rolled down adn the wind blowing in his face yells....

MOMMMY MOMMY....I DRINKING THE WIND!!!! I TASTIN' IT!!!!!!

wonder what it tastes like????

[webfrau]

LOL! Bugs??

ROFLOL Renee! That sounds like the voice of experience.:lol:

[Scrapping4Him]

Megan gave me a whopper of one today.

She and I went shopping at Target for several things, one of which were some new panties for her. As I am looking for the right size and a style I am willing to have her wear on her little bum, she comments to me that she doesn't need one of the teen bras yet as she doesn't have any of "those" but that I do. I tried hard to contain my laughter but I just could not, she was so matter of fact about it. So I just said yes sweetheart you are right, you do not need one of those bras yet and away we went to go get the next thing on our list, bath bubbles.

[diturpin]

OK...Tina's New Outer Banks page kit made me think of this one and I think I'll have to scrap it if I can find some of those "real" pictures!

Savannah was about 3 when we went to the Outer Banks with my parents. My dad let Savannah carry around one of the room keys all week and she felt so important unlocking the door. When it came time to check out we were one key short. We searched and asked Savannah but no key turned up. We apologized at the desk (this was a real key - no plastic swipe card) when we checked out and they were gracious and told us not to worry. About two hours away Savannah and my mom are talking about the vacation and how much fun they had. Savannah says, "Yeah, I loved it so much I kept the key! We can go back anytime we want." Out of her stash of Barbie doll stuff comes the key like a treasure equal to the holy grail!! We still have that key, in a place of vacation honor awaiting our next visit to the OBX!

[cherebus]

Just a quick little quote from my older son. We were making waffles last weekend for breakfast using the new square waffle iron. As I put it on a plate inorder to cut it and divide it for the boys Alex takes a look. His eyes get very big and he says. "That's the biggest waffle I never seen."

[Frito]

Two of my girls had just had their armpits rubbed with a bit of my husband's deodorant. I overheard Megan say to her sister, Abbey, "Let me smell your pits. Ummm, smells good!" (both are almost 4)

It made me laugh because they were so serious about it all.

[Nicole Young]

LOL ohhhh that is funny Ruth Ann! It was so good to see you this weekend!!!!

[Nicole Young]

Cheryl, thats so cute!!!

[aj_trouble]

My favourite quote from my son who was tiny at the time (he's only four now)..

Scene: driving past a field of cows who are all lying down

Mommy: oh Jay look, the cows are lying down that means it's going to rain
Jay: (instantly yells out the window) 'WAKE UP!!!'

[Heidi]

Just as I was about to go to bed, I came across this thread & couldn't stop laughing - this is great, Nicole!!! So many cute stories! Ok. it's now WAY past my bedtime, but I better add mine...

We were driving in the van & my daughters were in the back seats. We passed a rather large person riding a bike wearing brown pants & a camoflaged jacket. Just after glancing out my window & seeing this person (& not thinking anything about them). I hear my 5 yr old say to her older sister: 'I think I just saw a tree riding a bike' in an unsure kind of voice. I still can't tell that story without laughing too hard.

Another time we were going into a store & it had rained so we were telling the girls to be careful because the painted areas on the blacktopped parking lot were a bit slippery. My daughter (the same 5 yr old but probably now 6) looked down at the handicapped parking space & said 'why is there a picture of someone going to the bathroom on the ground?'

Lastly, this weekend my 3 yr old son was taking a bubble bath at Grandmas house. He stayed in the bath long enough to get that wrinkled look. When it was time to get out he picked up his foot & looked at the bottom of it & said 'my foot looks like Gramma Miller's hands'

They sure do come up with the funniest things!! Can't wait to read more!!

[Kathleen]

Funny stories, Heidi! Kids really do say the darndest things!

[Penny M]

I have forgotten most of what my kids said when they were little (where was scrapbooking when I needed it!).

I do remember when my oldest was about 3 and I was pregnant with my 2nd child, he got this intent look on his face.

He said in such an earnest manner after looking at me, "That sure is gonna hurt."

I asked, "What is gonna hurt?"

He said seriously, "When they unscrew your head to get that baby out."

[RoadMap4Us]

These stories are hilarious!! This thread is a good picker-upper at any time of day!

Here's one from many years ago. My daughter was just starting to talk in one-word 'sentences' when she noticed her dad's jeans one particular day.

Daughter: Daddy? (pointing to her dad's jeans)
Me: Yes, those are Daddy's pants.
Daughter: Work?
Me: Yes, Daddy is at work.
Daughter: [said with a wrinkled brow and tipped head] Naked?

[Nicole Young]

Uhhhh THANKS MOM!!! Should I mention that I am an only child??? LOL

[webfrau]

HaHa - you started this thread Nicole - you should've known it was potentially dangerous territory. :)

[mariafer]

I was about to ask Deb how many daughters she had... LOL!

[Nicole Young]

LOL yeah yeah yeah!!! I know!!! But oh so funny!!!

posted a couple funnies on my blog in the last few days:

www.nicoleyoungdesigns.blogspot.com (and a freebie while you are there!)

[Frito]

Okay-today, I heard the new phrase of the week. "You ruined my life!" It's not really a funny phrase, but if you consider that my almost 4 year old said it to me in such a serious voice, it is hilarious! I don't know where they got this one, but we are having some discussions on what it really means. :-)

[Penny M]

Oh, Ruth, your child is too young to be a teenager!!! LOL!

[Carla]

This is just an AWESOME thread! Wouldn't you know it...I have a 30 year old son and two grandchildren and I am drawing a total blank! :no:

[Cathiemarie]

Scamp signposted me over here, I've had the best laugh in weeks reading this thread. TFS ladies.

[hoozieg]

These are all really funny! We should compile them into a book!

Before I had my daughter, I was going shopping with a friend who had a 2 yr old son. He was in the back seat strapped to his car seat and I was driving. I was cut off by a lady in the parking lot of the mall and, as was my usual behavior at the time, I cursed at her, "You dumb Bitch!" Less than a minute later, I hear in a tiny voice from the back seat...."You dumb bitch!" I sure curbed my mouth around kids from that point on!!

[lizzanne]

Seen this thread posted in the grannies and I just had to come and see what funnies you all have posted. I love it. What a great thread to come to and get a good giggle!

Here's mine.
A conversation between my two 5 yr old grandchildren, Zoe and Gaeten. One born to my DD and 2 weeks later, one born to my DIL. This conversation
just took place by them Thursday night while coloring at my dining room table. I was just a few feet away in the kitchen.

Zoe: Gaeten, do you know how to tell the difference between a boy and girl like us?
(Grandma's ears perk up a bit)

Gaeten: What do you mean Zoe?

Zoe: You know, we both have blond hair and blue eyes but your a boy and I'm a girl. Do you know how to tell the difference?
(grandma moves a bit closer to hear the punch line.)

Gaeten: How?

Zoe: It's so easy, you just have to look.
(now grandma really listens in!)

Gaeten: Look at what?

Zoe: The clothes, boys wear boy clothes and girls
wear girl clothes.

[Nicole Young]

LOL too funny Lizzanne! Yeah, I think my ears would be perked up on that one too!!!!

[bludlfn003]

Here's one, I thought it was so funny. I was fixing lunch today for my 5 year old. He wanted his ravioli's, but only wanted half the can...

Me: No Aaron your getting the whole can.
Aaron: No I only want half a can.
(now I'm putting food in bowl)
Aaron: (runs back in kitchen) Ok, ok I want a whole can, I'm an American, and American's eat the whole can of ravioli's.

I love it.

[Donut]

I just remembered this one, from years back.
Becky was about 3 or 4. We lived in an area where there were not many single level houses so she wasn't used to seeing them. One day we were driving somewhere, and went down a street of bungalows.
"Oh look Mummy and Daddy!" pipes up Becky, pointing out of the car windows.
"Those houses look like a giant has come and sat on them!"

[stitchmich]

Several years ago probably before my son started school I had to run out to the grocery store. I was in a rush and hurried out in my sweatpants, probably with little or no makeup on, which I don't ever do. As he and I are getting out of the car to walk into the grocery store I made a comment about how terrible I looked in my sweatpants and he said, "It's okay, Mom. It's not like you're a movie star or something."

[stitchmich]

I have forgotten most of what my kids said when they were little (where was scrapbooking when I needed it!).

I do remember when my oldest was about 3 and I was pregnant with my 2nd child, he got this intent look on his face.

He said in such an earnest manner after looking at me, "That sure is gonna hurt."

I asked, "What is gonna hurt?"

He said seriously, "When they unscrew your head to get that baby out."

These are all hilarious, but this one is my favorite so far... Well, also the "Marshall's" story on your blog, Nicole. I bet Tyler keeps you rolling!

[Nicole Young]

Bumpin' this thread, so I can here more funnies!!!

[Penny M]

We took our grandsons, 7 & 6, yesterday to eat at Texas Roadhouse (steakhouse). They have a bar in the restaurant where they serve alcoholic drinks.

After we had been sitting at our booth, our 7 year wanted to go sit at the bar so he could sit in the tall chairs. I told him that kids weren't allowed to sit at the bar, but didn't explain why.

He said, "So they only serve humans there?"

[diturpin]

Here's a July 4th one. DD Savannah is born on July 4th which is Independence Day in the US. Most towns have a fireworks display that evening. We were visiting my mom on the 3rd and some of her neighbors were shooting off fireworks a day early. Savannah, just as serious as could be said, "Grandma, call your friends and tell them it's not my birthday yet."

I guess at 5 she thought the fireworks were for HER birthday, not the birthday of the nation!

[Robin E.]

Once my husband went on a business trip to Pennsylvania for a week. When we were at church without him that week a friend asked my then 3 year old daughter where her daddy was. She frowned and said, "Oh, he's at some pencil factory."

This same daughter, a year later, told me how much she loved the honey sticks I would buy the kids as a treat everything we went to the herbal store. "Mama," she said, "they taste purple!"

[PQ FRAN]

My youngest son, Andrew (17), just got home from a trip to Spokane, Washington. When he got home I told him to unpack. I went in his room yesterday, and there was the suitcase in the middle of the floor, full of clothes.
"Unpack you suitcase."
"I did."
"No, you didn't."
"Yes, I did."
"It is still full of clothes."
"Those are clean clothes."
"So, unpack them."
"I thought I would just live out of the suitcase until it is empty."
"Unpack that suitcase and hang up those clothes. That means hang each item on its own hanger. No bags should be involved."
(The last time I told him to hang up clothes he put them in a bag and looped the bag on a hanger in the closet).

[PQ FRAN]

Andrew and Bia have to clean up the kitchen every night after supper. Here is what they said to each other tonight:

Bia, you have to finish washing the dishes.
I have.
You have not.
Yes I have.
What about the dishes that are left in the sink?
Those are the tupperware containers.
You have to wash those.
No I don't.
So who do you think is going to wash them? Do you think there are little tupperware gnomes that come out after we go to bed who wash them? There is no Easter bunny, there is no Santa Claus, and there are no tupperware gnomes. Wash the dishes. :rofl::rofl:

Then, as she is washing the tupperware, she starts trying to tell Andrew a story about the Jonas Brothers. (One of her most favorite topics of conversation). Then I hear, "Please stop. I would rather eat nails than hear another one of your long winded Jonas Brothers stories."

This does not deter Bia in the least, but every time she starts in on her story again, all you can hear is Andrew screaming, "Nails! Nails!"

[nvr.4.gtn]

I have two pages I have done that fit this. This is the one I did a few days ago!http://www.digitalscrapbookplace.com/gallery/data/500/VBS_I_saw_down.jpg
http://www.digitalscrapbookplace.com/gallery/showphoto.php?photo=322959&ppuser=86139

and this is one I did awhile back
http://www.digitalscrapbookplace.com/gallery/data/500/Say_What1.jpg
http://www.digitalscrapbookplace.com/gallery/showphoto.php?photo=262841

http://www.digitalscrapbookplace.com/gallery/data/500/oh_the_things_she_says.jpg
http://www.digitalscrapbookplace.com/gallery/showphoto.php?photo=278834&ppuser=86139

[webfrau]

You have some great layouts, I especially like the potty one! LOL!

[Marriedin79]

When my son, Alex, was in kindergarten, he asked his teacher how to spell his middle name. She went to the file, pulled out his folder, and spelled P-r-e-s-t-o-n and then said "Preston". He responded, "No, my OTHER middle name: Zander".

[wndyeliza]

:D I am VERY PROUD of this little exchange...

My daughter and 2 grands had to move in with me and my new husband. They were kicked out of the place that they were living late one evening. She called asking me to take them to the homeless shelter, rather than placing a strain on my new marriage. The kids have just started preschool and I have taken it on myself to drive them to school and picking them up since it would be a 2 hour bus trip for them.
With that said, I picked them up a couple of days ago...

Me: You ready to go home?
Ian: Yeah...

Ian: Grandma? I want to go to your house.
Me: You do?
Ian: Yeah.
Me: How come?
Ian: Its funner.

I"m the FUNNER Grandma!!1 :rofl::yahoo::rofl:

[Sparky1982]

Here is a layout I just did about my DS and one funny moment - there are so many more :)
http://www.digitalscrapbookplace.com/gallery/data/500/thumbs/cheeky_boy_for_web.jpg
Cheeky Boy (http://www.digitalscrapbookplace.com/gallery/showphoto.php?photo=323083&ppuser=84332)

[Sammimagoo]

Well I had an operation removing my v/veins last week and wasnt allowed to move for a week.

My youngest son Kobe says to me today...

Kobe: "mum, I'm the boss of you now"
me: "why are you the boss of me?"
Kobe: "I'm the boss of you and when you get better you are the boss of me again."
me: "oh you mean you're helping to look after me?"
Kobe: "yes"
me: "do you like being the boss of mum?"
Kobe: "mmm..yes..but you can boss me again now"

Made me smile...DH went back to work today after a week looking after me and the kids... he almost ran out the door to the office...being the boss is hard work :)

do you think I'll be appreciated a bit more now!!!

DOUBT IT!!!

[SuzanneCWalker]

OMG - i just SERIOUSLY LAUGHED OUT LOUD!!

YOU ATE ME???

bwaaaaaaaahahahaa, that is such a RIOT!

i am laughing SO HARD at ALL of these!!!

Oh, such a great thread idea, Nicole!!

I have a couple....
A couple years ago, I was thumbing threw some photos and came across some of me when I was pregnant with my oldest...They were the nice side view, showing the belly.
My oldest sat down next to me and I asked him if he know who that was in the picture.
him: "That's you, Momma, but you were fat!"
me: *giggle* "No, I was pregnant. You were in my belly."
him: *furrowed brow* *wide eyes* *panicked voice* "You mean you ATE me???"
me: "Nooo! You were growing in my belly waiting to be born."
we talked more about it and I thought he was ok....until later.
That night at bedtime, I was tucking him in and said, very seriously,
"Now 'member Momma, you can't eat me anymore. I'm too big."

Another favorite of mine is the discussion he and I had about the tooth fairy one night while we were waiting for Daddy to come tuck him in. He had lost a tooth and we had it placed under his pillow and he was excited about it. The convo went on and I asked him if he knew what she looked like.
him: "She has long hair. Curly."
me: "What color is it?"
him: "It's black. No. It's purple and shiny."
me: "What else?"
him: "She has a pink dress and wears sparkly red tap shoes."
me: *eyes big* "Wow! She IS fancy!"
him: "Where does she live Momma?"
me: "Oh..in Tooth Fairy Land, far away."
him: "How old is she?"
me: "I don't know. She's been around for some time...she use to visit me when I was little."
him: "Wow. She must be old..like maybe 32 or something."

[SuzanneCWalker]

Oh, those are WAY AWESOME!!! love the underpants one... i actually (and this is so not exaggerated) have to ask that question.... "does everyone have underpants?" we got to the bus stop not once, but at least FOUR TIMES with Molly going commando....................... jeeeeeezzzzzzz!

I have two pages I have done that fit this. This is the one I did a few days ago!http://www.digitalscrapbookplace.com/gallery/data/500/VBS_I_saw_down.jpg
http://www.digitalscrapbookplace.com/gallery/showphoto.php?photo=322959&ppuser=86139

and this is one I did awhile back
http://www.digitalscrapbookplace.com/gallery/data/500/Say_What1.jpg
http://www.digitalscrapbookplace.com/gallery/showphoto.php?photo=262841

http://www.digitalscrapbookplace.com/gallery/data/500/oh_the_things_she_says.jpg
http://www.digitalscrapbookplace.com/gallery/showphoto.php?photo=278834&ppuser=86139

[SuzanneCWalker]

omg, FRAN, you have me almost peeing in my pants!!!

okay..... trying to think of something funny one of mine has said recently...

well, there was the two year old trash-talking at the softball tourney today. he said the following:

"I'm a monkey in a tree, come on badder, lookit me. I will tell you when to swing. righhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhtttttttttttttttt abouuuuuuuuuuuuuutttttttttttttttttttttt NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWww!"

seriously. he said every one of those words. we were dying!

[Nicole Young]

Too funny Suz!!!!

Conversation from 4am between my son (3) and husband....
Tyler: "Daddy, I scared!"
Daddy: "What would make it better?"
Tyler: "A glass of juice!"
Daddy: "Fine, come on, lets go get one..."
(after the sipping the TINIEST sip of juice)
Tyler: "That way too much juice for me Daddy! You put it in the fridge and save it for me! I will drink it later, now go to bed Daddy!"

[Nicole Young]

Ohhh thought of another one from a while back...
as we were leaving Bible study and saying good-bye to the other couples my 3 year old yells...

"Bye Big People!!!! Be good!!!!!"

[Robin E.]

My 4 year old came up to me the other day with the most sad and dog eyed expression on his face. "Mom," he said in a pathetic disappointed voice, "I'm not a real cop."

I plan to scrap this one.

[Marriedin79]

When my son, Alex, was in kindergarten, he asked his teacher how to spell his middle name. She went to the file, pulled out his folder, and spelled P-r-e-s-t-o-n and then said "Preston". He responded, "No, my OTHER middle name: Zander". Here's the layout of this:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3658/3676992856_494a31409c_o.jpg

[idtwinmom]

I finally can share a couple of funnies: As some of you may know I just moved almost 3000 miles from Oregon to Alaska. This entailed a weeks worth of very long days couped up in the car with the 5 year old twins and their 3 year old sister. On the first long day of driving as we were finally approaching the town where we had a hotel reservation, my three year old speaks up from the back, "Hurry up Daddy, the sunset is rising!" When she got no response, "Mommy, you have to tell Daddy" (in a quite panicky voice) "Hurry up, the sunset is going to rise very soon!"

Earlier that same day my son was heard to say: "'I'm having the best day of my life because Uncle Mark gave me this present!" (his uncle gave him and his brother Hot Wheels cars and his sister a little stuffed dog).

[Sammimagoo]

OK here is one from my 3 year old Kobe.

We were going to the movies after Kobe's swimming lesson, I dropped my other sons off at our friends whom we were going with as we were going to be a little rushed for time...

Kobe: mum I want to go too
mum: you are darling we are going straight after swimming
Kobe: why isnt Baxter and Archie coming
mum: we might be a little late so they are going with Deb.
Kobe: does that mean I have to swim faster so we wont be late?
mum: hee hee hee no honey it doesnt matter how fast you swim the lesson is the same time.
Kobe: but if I swim faster we can get to the movies with Baxter.
mum: OK Kobe, you swim as fast as you can and I bet we make it

dont you just love their thinking :)

[idtwinmom]

LOL - yes, many of my kids funniest sayings are the mixed up logic of childhood. However, watching my 3 yr old DD assert herself can often give me the giggles too. She is the most independent child I know!

Recently we have experienced a rather warm spell with temps in the mid-70s F. Much warmer than normal for here in Anchorage, Alaska. Anyway, the windows were wide open and many of the neighbors were out enjoying the sun. It was nap time and we had been through most of the routine with potty/diaper/books, but I had gotten distracted with her brothers and had not yet "tucked her in" when I heard, "Hey down there, be quiet! I'm trying to go to sleep!"

I guess, thankfully, the brand new neighbor who I had met only once, did not here her. When I asked her later though, she did have a good laugh with me!

[just-pjz]

This thread always brings a smile to my face!
Thank you all for sharing your funnies!

We were grocery shopping and such the other day. Strolling along with our cart when my son asks:
him: "Mommy, what's beaver ages?"
me: "Hm? What? Oh..I, I don't know what you mean hon.." (<---bad, distracted mommy!)
him: "Beaver ages. What are beaver ages?"
me: "I don't know! Are you asking me how old beavers are?!??"
him: (exasperated) "No. BEAVER AGES!" pointing up
me: (looking up) "Oh....beverages!

Same boy also asked me a few days ago
"Do you think it would handy to have some camouflage for hide n' seek??"

[jennyharris28]

Today Emma said the funniest thing. We had a package of powdered donuts and I pulled them out to give to Ash and Emma. Emma said: Mine, my donuts. I replied: No they are to share. She then said: That's right. I will share them with myself. (well, cannot argue with that logic!)

[Heidi]

Too Funny!! Little ones sure do have a hard time figuring out that 'sharing thing'.

My 3 year old calls donut holes 'sugar Balls'. It took us a while to figure what he was talking about!

[Nicole Young]

Conversation between me and my 9 year old....

Maddie: Do you like my haircut Mom?
glancing up quickly to see she has pinned her hair up on her head
Me: You didnt use scissors....RIGHT???
Maddie: NO!!! Of course not! ....(long pause).....Buuuutttt what would you do if I did???
Me: Uhhhh ground you for life! (ok. slight exaggeration, but whatever!)
Maddie: Oh, well, then I probably wont be doing that anytime soon!

The joys of parenting!

[Muma]

Conversation between me and my 9 year old....

Maddie: Do you like my haircut Mom?
glancing up quickly to see she has pinned her hair up on her head
Me: You didnt use scissors....RIGHT???
Maddie: NO!!! Of course not! ....(long pause).....Buuuutttt what would you do if I did???
Me: Uhhhh ground you for life! (ok. slight exaggeration, but whatever!)
Maddie: Oh, well, then I probably wont be doing that anytime soon!

The joys of parenting!

Lucky you LOL .... Amy has cut her hair 3 times so far and school wants her to have neat and tidy hair ..... oh well where are those clippers I scalped DH with the other day??


This made me laugh .... Amy and I had just had a conversation about lieing. This next conversation happened after I noticed the tv had mysteriously changed channel, 5 mins later.

Me: Amy did you change the channel?
Amy: Look mummy its termilator
Me: Amy did you change the channel?
Amy: No the cheesie Dip did it ..... [voice gets all excited again] ..... LOOOOOOK MUMMYYYYYYY ...... Its the termilator.
I then fumble about trying to find the remote but alas its too late several cuss words later and a blown up terminator Amy is totally thrilled by it all ~sigh~ and no she can't pronounce the word Terminator correctly.

So apparently we now have a cheesie dip that can change the channel on the tv. I have no idea where the cheesie dip was cos we haven't eaten any in months. :think:I couldn't tell her off for not telling me the truth because I was laughing so much. SO much for the earlier conversation.

[Donut]

These are so funny! Love the Beaver ages and who knew cheesie dip was so clever?!!
I had this conversation with my 13 year old yesterday that made me laugh -

Her - I love you!
Me - I love you too!
Her - Even when you are old and boring I'll still love you.
I'm going to come and visit you in your old and boring old peoples home.

Nice to know where Im headed!! lol!!

[Sammimagoo]

Oh I had a laugh yesterday.

We were running late for picking up Kobe at preschool and then off to soccer training and as I am driving out the driveway I said...

ME: Archie, have you got soccer ball?
Archie: No
Me: Well its too late now, I'm going to be late for Kobe, you know you need your soccer ball...every Training and every game you need your soccer ball...it's not that hard (sheesshh!!)
Archie: Well you should of remembered mum.
Me: No buddy, you need to remember these things, it's not always up to mum (who am I kidding right)
Archie: BUT I"M NOT A GIRL!!!
Me:what????
Archie: I'M NOT A GIRL, I DONT REMEMBER THINGS!!
Me: Laugh (I have no come back for this...he is absolutely right!!!)

[diturpin]

Conversation between me and my 9 year old....

Maddie: Do you like my haircut Mom?...

The joys of parenting!

Well, Savannah has cut her own hair several times. Last time was last year (yes, she was 12) and it was horrible. I plopped her in the car and took her to Walmart and told the girl, no matter how short her bangs were, I wanted them to look at least normal. Well, they were short, short, short.

Moving forward - Monday, she was talking about her hair and wanting to change her cut. I reminded her not to do it herself, to let me know and we'd go get it cut. She replied, don't worry, I don't want to get scalped again.

So apparently we now have a cheesie dip that can change the channel on the tv. I have no idea where the cheesie dip was cos we haven't eaten any in months. :think:I couldn't tell her off for not telling me the truth because I was laughing so much. SO much for the earlier conversation.

Did you know that turning off the manual power button has a miraculous way of getting the cheesie dip to show up with the remote? (BTW our chocolate lab who lived outside had a tremendous ability to sneak into the house and do stuff.) Also, unplugging the cable because "the TV won't work for liars" worked for me one day (you have to be a bit sneaky with the unplugging). Also, taking the TV to the garage and placing it by the trash bins had a profound effect. Can you tell we went through a rebellious stage???


Archie: BUT I"M NOT A GIRL!!!
Me:what????
Archie: I'M NOT A GIRL, I DONT REMEMBER THINGS!!
Me: Laugh (I have no come back for this...he is absolutely right!!!)

Oh, to have been so wise at such a young age!

[Nicole Young]

Boy I keep forgetting to update this! I added a bunch to my blog!!!

www.nicoleyoungdesigns.blogspot.com

[idtwinmom]

I am desperately trying to teach my children to turn off the lights in an unused room. This morning I set them down to the table for a snack and reminded them to turn off the light when they were done. I proceeded back up the stairs and waited to see what would happen. Of course, it was the youngest (only 3) that finished last and of course, she forgot to turn off the light. I asked her older brother to go and turn it off and she stomped into my room. "I am big enough to reach. See! See how much I've grown!" (as she spread her arms and pointed to herself trying to make her point). I couldn't help but laugh and give her a big hug. "Yes, honey, you are such a big girl. Next time, remember to turn off the light!"

This is posted on my blog under "Kids really do say the darndest things!"

[Sammimagoo]

You could of knocked me down with a feather...I cant believe Baxter is counting down christmas by the days already!!!
http://www.digitalscrapbookplace.com/forum/../gallery/data/994/thumbs/Christmas-countdown-100.jpg (http://www.digitalscrapbookplace.com/forum/../gallery/showphoto.php?photo=330176)
Christmas Countdown (http://www.digitalscrapbookplace.com/forum/../gallery/showphoto.php?photo=330176)

[Shana34]

Oh my gosh. I just started reading this and I am LOVING it. I'm laughing over here and can't stop! I don't have any kids, but I do have some funny stories about my niece and nephews.

A few years back, I took my niece to go see a movie for part of her birthday present. I wanted her to have a special girl's day, so after the movie I asked her "Do you want to go to the mall and do some shopping?" Her response: "Aunt Shana, write this down. I CAN NOT go shopping without my purse." I just babbled for a few minutes. LOL

Another movie episode. This time I took my oldest nephew and my niece to see a movie. Nephew was about 10, niece was about 7. While I was waiting in line to get tickets, they were milling around the entrance looking at movie posters. They found the one that had the movie ratings and were looking at it for a while before I got the tickets and called them over. Nephew walks up and says "Aunt Shana, what's NC-17?" I'm pretty surprised but I quickly answered "it's worse than R." My niece looks up at me and says "So mommy and daddy watch NC-17 movies." All I could say was yes! LOL I must have been 5 shades of red when I warned my SIL that they may talk about her and my brother watching NC-17 movies.

Another niece story (she's a hoot.) The family was in Wal-mart one day shopping. She was about 4 or 5...and the woman at the checkout counter starts a conversation with her. Somehow she asked what daddy does. Niece responds "he drinks beers and gets fuzzy." LOL

Yet another niece one. For some reason around that age she had a fascination with drinking beer. We were all sitting around one night at my brothers, and my dad and brother were having a beer or two. My niece asks me why daddy drinks beer and Colin laughs and tells her because it makes you tall. My niece looks back up at me (I was standing and I'm about 6'1") and her eyes go wide and she says "Aunt Shana must drink LOTS of beer!"

My youngest nephew has always been the kind to cuddle with me and never want me to go. One night when I was leaving, my SIL told him he should give me a hug. I'm a bigger woman. He looks up at his mom and says "but I can't hug her, she's too big!" Talk about wanting to go on a diet! LOL

I'm sure I'll think of more...and I'm sure they'll give me more material! LOL

[Aftershockgirl]

Oh there are so many. I'll just post one for now. This was a conversation that took place between me and my youngest son Dakota. He was around 4-5 yrs old at the time.

Dakota- Mommy was I in your tummy?
Me- Yes you were.
Dakota-How did I get out?
Me- Well one day you were born.
Dakota- Where did I come out at?
Me- Well one minute you were inside me, and the next minute you were born.
Dakota- Did I come out through your leg?
Me- No.
Dakota- Well where at then?
Me-:think: Well hon the thing is... I ummm... can't really remember:think:

[StacieMac]

This is such a cute thread, I had to share.

My husband and I are both attorneys, a fact which often affects our parenting style, for better or for worse, and we have always known that our profession would lead to some interesting conversations with our children. What we didn't know is how soon the children would catch on.

Last month, my eldest daughter turned 2.5. In the throws of the "terrible twos" there has been much use of the phrase "that's mine." One day I sat her down and explained to her that she could not say "that's mine" anymore as it is not polite. The very next day I took a toy away from her that she was not supposed to have. She looked at me, stomped her foot, and thought for a moment... then she said "that's not yours, mama."

I stuttered for moment, being caught off guard by the clarity of her argument, said "you're right," and handed the toy back to her.

[idtwinmom]

This is such a cute thread, I had to share.

My husband and I are both attorneys, a fact which often affects our parenting style, for better or for worse, and we have always known that our profession would lead to some interesting conversations with our children. What we didn't know is how soon the children would catch on.

Last month, my eldest daughter turned 2.5. In the throws of the "terrible twos" there has been much use of the phrase "that's mine." One day I sat her down and explained to her that she could not say "that's mine" anymore as it is not polite. The very next day I took a toy away from her that she was not supposed to have. She looked at me, stomped her foot, and thought for a moment... then she said "that's not yours, mama."

I stuttered for moment, being caught off guard by the clarity of her argument, said "you're right," and handed the toy back to her.

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

[Penny M]

Stacie, what does it feel like to be one-upped by a 2 & a half year old??!!:lol:

[Jenni]

OK, I was just informed of this thread and I have to start from the beginning, but Kathleen pointed me here to add Brooke to the list. Some of you know this, but Brooke was "lost" on her first day of Kindergarten yesterday. She was put on the wrong bus and I ended up driving to the next town over to find her waiting at a Catholic school. Good Grief! Last night I highlighted her bus number card (which was hanging around her neck yesterday by the way) in pink and told her that it was so the correct number would stand out for her teacher. I got a call from the teacher (apologizing again) and she told me that Brooke got off the bus today, walked up to her and said, "My Mom highlighted the bus numbers for you.....pink is for pay attention". OMG, I was the one apologizing at that point..... although she did make it home today on the correct bus. :-)

[MarsOlson]

David just started kindergarten.. he called me the same day, I could tell he was excited so I first asked how he liked school. He said, "grandma, no I can't talk about THAT right now... something MUCH more exciting happened today!... I lost my tooth!" we had quite the chat about the whole losing tooth thing, he is very impressed with this big event. LOL I asked him if he was going to tell his teacher about it the next day. He said, "I'm going to tell EVERYONE in the world!" I asked him when the toothfairy was coming and he said "right now... I'm going to go to bed now" (it was afternoon) I asked him what he was going to do with the money she left. He said "I think I'll buy a Camaro"

[idtwinmom]

OK, I was just informed of this thread and I have to start from the beginning, but Kathleen pointed me here to add Brooke to the list. Some of you know this, but Brooke was "lost" on her first day of Kindergarten yesterday. She was put on the wrong bus and I ended up driving to the next town over to find her waiting at a Catholic school. Good Grief! Last night I highlighted her bus number card (which was hanging around her neck yesterday by the way) in pink and told her that it was so the correct number would stand out for her teacher. I got a call from the teacher (apologizing again) and she told me that Brooke got off the bus today, walked up to her and said, "My Mom highlighted the bus numbers for you.....pink is for pay attention". OMG, I was the one apologizing at that point..... although she did make it home today on the correct bus. :-)

First - Oh my gosh! Is that ever funny! Second - I really don't think you should apologize! That teacher should be totally ashamed that she put a 5 year old on the wrong bus!

[webfrau]

Brooke got off the bus today, walked up to her and said, "My Mom highlighted the bus numbers for you.....pink is for pay attention".
:rofl::rofl: That's telling her!

world!" I asked him when the toothfairy was coming and he said "right now... I'm going to go to bed now" (it was afternoon) I asked him what he was going to do with the money she left. He said "I think I'll buy a Camaro"

My goodness he has a rich tooth fairy:lol: I hope he wasn't too disappointed.

[Nicole Young]

OK, I was just informed of this thread and I have to start from the beginning, but Kathleen pointed me here to add Brooke to the list. Some of you know this, but Brooke was "lost" on her first day of Kindergarten yesterday. She was put on the wrong bus and I ended up driving to the next town over to find her waiting at a Catholic school. Good Grief! Last night I highlighted her bus number card (which was hanging around her neck yesterday by the way) in pink and told her that it was so the correct number would stand out for her teacher. I got a call from the teacher (apologizing again) and she told me that Brooke got off the bus today, walked up to her and said, "My Mom highlighted the bus numbers for you.....pink is for pay attention". OMG, I was the one apologizing at that point..... although she did make it home today on the correct bus. :-)

Go Brooke! I love it! I would have been FRANTIC if I were you on that first day! And totally ticked off! I love Brooke's reaction though! That is SO awesome! (Ok, maybe not to YOU, but I think its GREAT!)

[jessjgh1]

Oh I have to think of some for this... but just had to subscribe.

...I know I've been wanting to scrap about the time my husband came home from work and said out loud, "I'm pooped." The eyes on my son Josh's face (about 3ish) got so BIG and he, very seriously, said, "Oh, you did. Oh no."
For context, although it is mostly pretty obvious, he was potty learning and the only poop accidents he had were rare, if he was sick, something was off, or he tried but couldn't get a button unstuck or something. These occasions were usually pretty upsetting or sad to him, so he was actually quite concerned about his daddy being "pooped".

It took us both a while to stop laughing before we could explain to him what the fuss was. He though it was pretty funny (eventually) and sometimes remembers it when someone says they are pooped.

Jessica

[lmilgram]

Last night at dinner my 4 year old DD was having trouble focusing on eating as a result upsetting both her dad and I.

At one point she looked at me so seriously and said, "Mom, can I have word with you?"
"Sure", I replied, "what's would you like to say?"

Then she asks, "Mom, does my life have any purpose other than just listening to what you and dad tell me to do?"

Why is a 4 year old wondering about the purpose of her life anyway? All she had to do was eat her dinner.

[idtwinmom]

Last night at dinner my 4 year old DD was having trouble focusing on eating as a result upsetting both her dad and I.

At one point she looked at me so seriously and said, "Mom, can I have word with you?"
"Sure", I replied, "what's would you like to say?"

Then she asks, "Mom, does my life have any purpose other than just listening to what you and dad tell me to do?"

Why is a 4 year old wondering about the purpose of her life anyway? All she had to do was eat her dinner.
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

Well, I suppose the introspection is better than what I got the other day. I apparently get frustrated way to often with being "ignored" or what ever word you use for the child that just plain will not listen to you. I'm sitting talking to my husband when DS#2 comes into the room with his K'nex creation and says, "Mom, I know you are tired of talking to brick walls, so I built two of them for ya'!" I nearly fell off my chair laughing!

[Shana34]

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

Well, I suppose the introspection is better than what I got the other day. I apparently get frustrated way to often with being "ignored" or what ever word you use for the child that just plain will not listen to you. I'm sitting talking to my husband when DS#2 comes into the room with his K'nex creation and says, "Mom, I know you are tired of talking to brick walls, so I built two of them for ya'!" I nearly fell off my chair laughing!

:rofl: both of those stories are great! My nephew is a fountain of good ones. I took him to a local cider mill the other day and he was looking at the apples. I told him he could pick some out to take home and he goes to each one of the bins (thank gosh they were the same price) and starts picking through them. After a little while I went over to help him and picked out a nice big one. He looks up at me and says "No Aunt Shana it has to be my size." So he spent the next half hour or so picking out the smallest apples he could find. I was fine with that...they weigh less therefore it would cost less. LOL

[Jenni]

Quote of the day......

"Bill, I just got an e-mail from your Social Studies teacher......do you have flash cards to go over tonight for a test tomorrow?"

"Yes"

"What is the test over, Bill?"

"ummm......early people"

?????????????????? Do ya think he could be just a bit more specific????????????????????

[Kathleen]

Here is one from my darling daughter (Delaney, who is 4 1/2 - the 1/2 is very important, just ask her!)... we spent last weekend in the Bahamas. On our flight home we were talking about our trip, and we asked Delaney what she would tell her friends about the things she did and where she went. Her response? "We to visit the Obamas." Obama, Bahamas ... same difference, right?

[emandlivsmom]

Here is one from my darling daughter (Delaney, who is 4 1/2 - the 1/2 is very important, just ask her!)... we spent last weekend in the Bahamas. On our flight home we were talking about our trip, and we asked Delaney what she would tell her friends about the things she did and where she went. Her response? "We to visit the Obamas." Obama, Bahamas ... same difference, right?

That's awesome!!!!

Olivia (5 yo) ..."Mom, when I die, will you try and die too? I am going to miss you when I am in heaven." :love3:

Emma (7.5) tries to make her feel better..."Don't worry Olivia, Mommy is going to die first."

Gee. Thanks.

[Sammimagoo]

OK, havent been here for a while but Kobe said a doosy yesterday.

We were at swimming lessons and he was in a make up class and playing up with the other boy...not listening..you know, the usual things a 4 yr old does!!! When he finishes he usually get a lollypop if he swims well.

KOBE: mum can I have a lolly?
ME: no mate you werent listening today and didnt swim very well did you?
KOBE: yes I did, I swam!! (like... weren't you looking mum)
ME: yes but you were playing and not listening and learning
KOBE: but muuuuummmm...I'm sick!
ME: your not sick, what do you mean?
KOBE: my BRAIN is sick, it just wanted to play..I couldn't learn...really!!!

:yikes::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl: :think: How do I beat that!!!!

[aj_trouble]

My 5 yr old DS asked Nanny during a role play game if she would pretend she was a girl in his class, when we asked why that particular girl, he said it was because she was 'very pretty every day' :love3:, we thought this was sweet so we asked if she liked him and he said, 'no she doesn't see me' (:cry:).

In an effort to get him talking, I told him it was nice to like someone, and when I was five I loved a boy called James who made my heart go all funny. He said ...Mommy, was that Daddy's name before you married him???' :rofl:

My husband is Adam!!!