Archive 1 - For all the Grandmas! (longest thread in the history of mankind) '06-'08

Originally Posted by Cathiemarie

http://www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/fun/ thats the site for kiddies to play on Dags. Oh and thanks for the heads up on Manchester Airport since that's where I flew from and I am returning to via Philidelphia.

BTW, is anyone near to Philly airport cos I have a 4/5 hour layover there on my return and perhaps we could meet and have coffee and a chat???

Philly is my hometown and I sure wish I still lived there to keep you company. Don't believe a word about it being the City of Brotherly Love......that stuff died along with Ben Franklin. But.....you gotta have a Philly Steak and soft pretzel while you are there cause there's nothing like them anywhere else in this world.

Time to go take the test...keep your fingers (and toes) crossed for me.

[BethHardy]

Originally Posted by GrandmaScrap

Dear Ladies,

In deference to other valiant members of our most-esteemed thread, I will not be relating our funeral experiences to you.

Suffice it to say among misbehaving mourners (these were people ranging in age from 22 - 42); cell phone usage; the slobbering, kissing, fawning of one particular step-granddaughter over every man who attended; boyfriends sleeping and/or salivating over girlfriends; girlfriends returning favors in like kind; young women wearing strapless, slinky dresses; women in their mid to late 30's wearing embarrassingly short short-shorts; one incredibly misbehaving 5 yr. old wearing a tuxedo; a step-granddaughter of the deceased insisting on singing an off-key ear-shattering solo; a step-daughter of the deceased misrepresenting who's who in the newspaper obituary by naming the 3 step children as "children" and completely leaving out the deceased's own children; and the same step-daughter collecting all the memorial money and taking her family out to an expensive restaurant for lunch one day and dinner the next while DH & I paid the grave-opening expenses, it was one helluva couple of days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Really, the only thing missing was a knock-down drag-out fight, which was only avoided because my DH was one of the very few attendees with any decorum. How he rose above his "roots" and then spawned such disrespectful children and grandchildren I will never understand! If he had once uttered to others what he was chattering in my ears only, the experience would have been even more fraught with drama!

Sincerely,

GrandmaScrap

P.S. I am now stepping down from my soap box and going back to my "bad patch" of life, as some one (Inky!) so eloquently put it!

So this is the family where the writers of "Momma's Family" got their characters and material!!! If it had been on TV, it might have been funny, and, if not, you could at least have changed channels. So sorry that this was what really happened, Crys. I'm sure that in real life, it wasn't funny at all.

[nnylfs]

Originally Posted by kashateaparty

Here's what I have to offer up:

* male, 28 years old, steadily employed as a special ops US soldier, very muscular and physically fit, doesn't smoke or drink, great sense of humor, interests: flying, anything outdoorsy, guitars, and photography

* male, 23 years old, recent college grad that will hopefully soon be gainfully employed, very tall and muscular, doesn't smoke or drink, dry sense of humor, interests: guitars and playing music with his band, anything outdoorsy, computers, and travel.

Any interest, please call 1-800-GET-BOYZ

~ Kasha ~ maybe we can get your male 28 with my female 23 - she loves the athletic-types (she's a long distance runner) - and with two military sibs, she knows that route, she also talks a lot (really a lot, and fast really fast) ~

~ call me at 1-800-GIT-MGON ~

~ seriously, i read somewhere (or maybe it was on fox news) that back when families and matchmakers arranged marriages, the divorce rate was a lot lower ~ course, back then every rate was a lot lower :twins: ~

[nnylfs]

Originally Posted by GrandmaScrap

Dear Ladies,

In deference to other valiant members of our most-esteemed thread, I will not be relating our funeral experiences to you.

Suffice it to say among misbehaving mourners (these were people ranging in age from 22 - 42); cell phone usage; the slobbering, kissing, fawning of one particular step-granddaughter over every man who attended; boyfriends sleeping and/or salivating over girlfriends; girlfriends returning favors in like kind; young women wearing strapless, slinky dresses; women in their mid to late 30's wearing embarrassingly short short-shorts; one incredibly misbehaving 5 yr. old wearing a tuxedo; a step-granddaughter of the deceased insisting on singing an off-key ear-shattering solo; a step-daughter of the deceased misrepresenting who's who in the newspaper obituary by naming the 3 step children as "children" and completely leaving out the deceased's own children; and the same step-daughter collecting all the memorial money and taking her family out to an expensive restaurant for lunch one day and dinner the next while DH & I paid the grave-opening expenses, it was one helluva couple of days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Really, the only thing missing was a knock-down drag-out fight, which was only avoided because my DH was one of the very few attendees with any decorum. How he rose above his "roots" and then spawned such disrespectful children and grandchildren I will never understand! If he had once uttered to others what he was chattering in my ears only, the experience would have been even more fraught with drama!

Sincerely,

GrandmaScrap

P.S. I am now stepping down from my soap box and going back to my "bad patch" of life, as some one (Inky!) so eloquently put it!

~ Crys ~ i'm with Omi on this ~ some folks grow up right despite their roots ~ i'm glad you got a good one ~

~ glad your back, and good luck Monday ~

[PQ]

Originally Posted by GrandmaScrap
Dear Ladies,

In deference to other valiant members of our most-esteemed thread, I will not be relating our funeral experiences to you.

Crys - Your husband and you both are "keepers." You live what I try to live eveyday and what I try to get my children to do - QUIETLY LEAD BY EXAMPLE. WTG.
pq fran

[PQ]

INSTRUCTIONS ON THE BEACH LAYOUT

Here are the layouts to look at -

BEAUTIFUL - PAPER STYLE

BEAUTIFUL - GRAPHIC STYLE

1. I selected a photo that I thought would look cool if it was "dreamy." Then I took that photo and I cropped the edges with the feather turned up to 250. Then I pasted it onto an 8x8 canvas.

2. I selected a background paper that I thought would compliment the colors in the photo. The background paper is going to show through because the edges are sheer.

3. I used the antiquing overlay pack by Lauren Bavin - which I can no longer find in the store. I do not know what to tell you here - that antiquing pack is where all the scratches and wrinkles came from. I put one antiquing overlay on top of the background paper and one on top of the focal photo. Then I changed the hue/saturation of the top antiquing overlay to blend with the colors in my photo. I filled the second, bottom antiquing overlay with white. Then I decreased the opacity of both overlays until I had the look I wanted. I erased the antiquing that was on top of Bia - I do not like to scratch or distort the people in my photographs.

4. I extracted, copied and pasted Bia so that she would not go through the filter. (Again, I do not like to distort my people.)

5. I ran my photo through Virtual Photographer - Ambient filter. I used the factory setting. Virtual Photographer is free GET VIRTUAL PHOTOGRAPHER HERE. Then I made certain that my layer that had the extracted Bia was on top so that she remained filter free.

6. Remember how sheer I made the edges by cropping it with the feather set at 250? Well, I duplicated the photo and cut a large oval out of the middle with the feather set at 250 again - that makes a sheer, oval frame which I then filled with white. I took that result and ran it through an impression filter, then I decreased the opacity. That left me with kind of smokey white edges - I made certain this layer was underneath the antiquing layer.

7. Now how easy is that?

8. The font is called Romantically Yours and it is free at da font. GET ROMANTICALLY YOURS FONT FREE HERE

PQ FRAN

EUREKA!!!!!!!!!!!!! I FOUND IT. THE ANTIQUING PACK IS IN THE FREEBIE SECTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET THE FREE ANTIQUING PACK HERE

[Cathiemarie]

Oooooo Kasha thanks for the heads up on the pretzels and Philly steak, I will try those.

Lynnie just got home and looks not well, trying to persuade her to get some more sleep as we are off out tonight to meet up with about 10,000 women for a Women of Faith Convension.

Fran I'm loving your two LO's might have to scraplift or at least try out that technique it is way cool. (note the americanisms filtering into my language) you guys.

For those who might be interested heres my first LO using my new Laptop and using CS3 Final Resting Place . TFL.

[nanaclaire]

Originally Posted by photoqueenphoto

INSTRUCTIONS ON THE BEACH LAYOUT

Here are the layouts to look at -

BEAUTIFUL - PAPER STYLE

BEAUTIFUL - GRAPHIC STYLE

1. I selected a photo that I thought would look cool if it was "dreamy." Then I took that photo and I cropped the edges with the feather turned up to 250. Then I pasted it onto an 8x8 canvas.

2. I selected a background paper that I thought would compliment the colors in the photo. The background paper is going to show through because the edges are sheer.

3. I used the antiquing overlay pack by Lauren Bavin - which I can no longer find in the store. I do not know what to tell you here - that antiquing pack is where all the scratches and wrinkles came from. I put one antiquing overlay on top of the background paper and one on top of the focal photo. Then I changed the hue/saturation of the top antiquing overlay to blend with the colors in my photo. I filled the second, bottom antiquing overlay with white. Then I decreased the opacity of both overlays until I had the look I wanted. I erased the antiquing that was on top of Bia - I do not like to scratch or distort the people in my photographs.

4. I extracted, copied and pasted Bia so that she would not go through the filter. (Again, I do not like to distort my people.)

5. I ran my photo through Virtual Photographer - Ambient filter. I used the factory setting. Virtual Photographer is free GET VIRTUAL PHOTOGRAPHER HERE. Then I made certain that my layer that had the extracted Bia was on top so that she remained filter free.

6. Remember how sheer I made the edges by cropping it with the feather set at 250? Well, I duplicated the photo and cut a large oval out of the middle with the feather set at 250 again - that makes a sheer, oval frame which I then filled with white. I took that result and ran it through an impression filter, then I decreased the opacity. That left me with kind of smokey white edges - I made certain this layer was underneath the antiquing layer.

7. Now how easy is that?

8. The font is called Romantically Yours and it is free at da font. GET ROMANTICALLY YOURS FONT FREE HERE

PQ FRAN

EUREKA!!!!!!!!!!!!! I FOUND IT. THE ANTIQUING PACK IS IN THE FREEBIE SECTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET THE FREE ANTIQUING PACK HERE

Thanks for the instructions. What program do you use? I was wondering if this can be done in PSE-3??? I need to save the instructions for later when I can actually spend time learning how to do this. Thanks again { does this mean thank you?? not sure what the TUP means.

[evergreen100]

PQP, thank you so much for those instructions. What I also want to know is how on earth did you THINK to do all those things in the first place??????? Ive copied and saved them to have a go at later...but I think my programme might chuck a wobbly at feathering 250 . Big hugs for you, being in casts for so long...lucky you have digi scrapping to keep you occupied

Omi, :clap: :clap: , well done to you, hope that email sender gets what he deserves...he will then know NOT TO MESS WITH THE GRANS!!!!

Ineke, you could be the wafer, or the icecream in our banana split if you like

Grannyscrap, what a time of it you had, pleased you walked away intact.

I forget what else I wanted to say, but if anyone steals this post, I am going to send Omi after you. WOS!!!

Edit: Kasha, big hugs for your test, you will do great!! How could you not with all of us Grans GITS and Wannabes r**ting for you!

Off to check the LO links. Hugs to you Lynnie...get some sleep!!!!

[JaeDee]

Don't have time to read all 5 pages posted today! Just stoped by to say that ALL IS WELL!!!!!!!!! The ultra sounds found nothing to worry about!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!


JaeDee

[Carma]

Next time you think you have the worst job in the world remember this!The worst job in the world
Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana . He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.

Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea.. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.



Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It 's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.



Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes befor e I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.



When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job." Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day? May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana . He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.

Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea.. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.



Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It 's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.



Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes befor e I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.



When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job." Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day? May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!

[evergreen100]

Originally Posted by JaeDee

Don't have time to read all 5 pages posted today! Just stoped by to say that ALL IS WELL!!!!!!!!! The ultra sounds found nothing to worry about!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!


JaeDee

Yay JD!!!!!!

Carma....I LOVE my job, I LOVE my job (and I dont even have one)

[BethHardy]

Originally Posted by JaeDee

Don't have time to read all 5 pages posted today! Just stoped by to say that ALL IS WELL!!!!!!!!! The ultra sounds found nothing to worry about!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!


JaeDee

JaeDee!!!

So happy for you.

[Lynnie]

JaeDee - so happy about the ultrasound!!

WOS to everyone and WVS

[Carma]

Fran PQ, what a horrible situation you are in. My prayers go out to you. One person should not have to endure so many diseases. Casts fof 13 months...hobbible.
Crystal, I hope you are not planning any family reunions for that side of the family ever again. You do not need them. Jerks.
That Naked rat is horrible, about scared the you know what outa me.
Cathie I am so glad that you are enjoying your visit and have got to do so much shopping...way to go. Enjoy the laptop, can't wait to see it in person. Oh yes and don't worry about saving any chocolate for JaeDee, she can't eat it.
Been a busy day here for me...One phone call after another and email from family. Yikes.....wish I could say they were all good news. But most are things that can be taken care of fairly easily. My hubby has been sleeping all day today and slept most of yesterday and the day before. Hope he is not catching something.
WOS and WVS