Chatting with Gundi

[>>aruaL<<]

Originally Posted by PQ

Like minds......if have been saying this for several decades now....
THIS IS A FACT OF LIFE. THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO GET TO UNILATERALLY MAKE DECISIONS ARE THE PEOPLE WHO PAY THE BILLS. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO MAKE ALL OF YOUR OWN DECISIONS, YOU NEED TO PAY YOUR OWN BILLS.

Almost every single one of the conversations where that was said involved children wanting us to let them live some place other than the dorm while in college. Everyone has their own opinion, but my husband and I both want our children to live in dorms while they are in college. The kids thought that we should "give" them what we would have spent on room and board. Hmmmmm.....I don't think so. Why would I pay for you to live in a place that I do not want you to live in?

Bottom line: If you are dead set on not living in the dorm, take out a student loan. When you pay your own way you get to make all of your own decisions.

I can't say anything about this, I just put my daughter into her own apartment right next to the college, which we pay for. However, I did so for many reasons, and it wasnt her who asked us to... she was fine with living in the dorms - her father and I were not fine with it. It took an emotional toll on her in many ways, it was pretty serious some of the things that went on, and while she tried her best to just move forward so as to not appear to be a wimp.... we gave her no choice other than "come home or go to an apartment". So she's in an apartment now, and now that she's been there exactly one month yesterday, she's extremely happy we did it. Her dorms are kinda cruddy, altho HER room was nice because we paid for a bigger room, DH felt like for the price we were paying... it was a dump. We have strict rules for her, even though shes off campus, and I have a key to her place. As a matter of fact, I just got back an hour ago from making a surprise visit ;-)

As far as Im concerned, its MY apartment since we are paying ALL the bills.... your just a guest in MY apartment... haha!

[PQ]

Originally Posted by >>aruaL<<

There is no privacy in this house.... you want to live under my bank account and under my roof.... you folllow my rules. If ya don't wanna follow my rules, well.....then ya got a serious problem on ya hands! My rules were not made to be broken or bent.... I don't care if your 2 or if your 200.... as long as I pay the bills and you live under my roof.... this is the way it shall be! Like it or lump it! :-)

I have noticed that once the kids got to middle school, MANY of the parents 'gave up'... they no longer are active in their childrens lives. I don't get that...... what the heck are they thinking!

Gosh, we really got on a high soapbox today.... hahahaah.

Before I started homeschooling Bia, there was a little girl in her class named Samantha who was a relentless bully. I called Samantha's mom to discuss what was going on at school. At the time both girls were 12 years old. When I told this mom the things that her daughter was doing (if any of MY children had been doing what her child had been doing, I would have snatched a knot in their head) she said, "These girls are 12 years old. Don't you think they are old enough to work this out between themselves?"

OMGosh! She thought that since her daughter was 12 that she no longer needed the guidance of a parent. The ONLY reason this woman finally intervened was because I told her that if she didn't, I would go to the principal and the school board. Her daughter's behavior is expressly forbidden in the school's code of conduct.

So, I think that you are correct....but I really do not understand it. Why are parents choosing to believe that middle schoolers should be treated like adults?

[PQ]

Originally Posted by >>aruaL<<

I can't say anything about this, I just put my daughter into her own apartment right next to the college, which we pay for. However, I did so for many reasons, and it wasnt her who asked us to... she was fine with living in the dorms - her father and I were not fine with it. It took an emotional toll on her in many ways, it was pretty serious some of the things that went on, and while she tried her best to just move forward so as to not appear to be a wimp.... we gave her no choice other than "come home or go to an apartment". So she's in an apartment now, and now that she's been there exactly one month yesterday, she's extremely happy we did it. Her dorms are kinda cruddy, altho HER room was nice because we paid for a bigger room, DH felt like for the price we were paying... it was a dump. We have strict rules for her, even though shes off campus, and I have a key to her place. As a matter of fact, I just got back an hour ago from making a surprise visit ;-)

As far as Im concerned, its MY apartment since we are paying ALL the bills.... your just a guest in MY apartment... haha!

Amen Sista.

[PQ]

Originally Posted by >>aruaL<<

PQ, I do the same with my kids. Scouts doesn't allow the to have their phones either... uh yah right, its in his pocket and turned off. Plain and simply put, if they don't like it ... too bad. If he's abusing MY rule, then I'll pull him out of Scouts, otherwise, I don't see a problem with it being in his pocket.

I have nearly gone to jail over the protection of my child, and I'll continue to do so until my time is up and I'm looking down from above. It is MY job to protect my children, and I'll do exactly that, at all costs.

You and me both.

[PQ]

Originally Posted by >>aruaL<<

I can't say anything about this, I just put my daughter into her own apartment right next to the college, which we pay for. However, I did so for many reasons, and it wasnt her who asked us to... she was fine with living in the dorms - her father and I were not fine with it. It took an emotional toll on her in many ways, it was pretty serious some of the things that went on, and while she tried her best to just move forward so as to not appear to be a wimp.... we gave her no choice other than "come home or go to an apartment". So she's in an apartment now, and now that she's been there exactly one month yesterday, she's extremely happy we did it. Her dorms are kinda cruddy, altho HER room was nice because we paid for a bigger room, DH felt like for the price we were paying... it was a dump. We have strict rules for her, even though shes off campus, and I have a key to her place. As a matter of fact, I just got back an hour ago from making a surprise visit ;-)

As far as Im concerned, its MY apartment since we are paying ALL the bills.... your just a guest in MY apartment... haha!

Our children wanted to live in an apartment because they wanted to be footloose and fancy free.

The first one wanted to live in an apartment so that he could drink beer.

The second wanted to live in an apartment so that she could have s*x with her boyfriend.

The third one wanted to live in an apartment because we wanted her to live in the dorm. LOL.

The 4th one is an R.A. in the dorm....we will see what happens next year with him....He says that "nobody" lives in the dorms after their freshman year....LOL...I already know that isn't true. I told him that he will go down in history as a pioneer! The first senior at Montana State University to live in the dorm! He did not think that I was funny.

[PQ]

By the way, when I finished my conversation with the mother who did not want to intervene when her daughter was being such a bully, Bia started crying and said, "I don't know about Samantha's mom, but you scared me."

Good. That bi!ch needed to be scared.

[>>aruaL<<]

Ha Fran! Your awesome... it's good you scared her!! People will know not to mess!

Remember my mess last year? Oh, I thought I was going to prison..... LOL!!

You know, when I hear about some of these stories on the news about parents having taken things into their own control... like the man who hopped on the bus and scared the bullies of his daughter, I UNDERSTAND their rage!!... Sure, I dont like other kids being scared... but when the other adults around who are in charge do nothing to fix the problem, then perhaps someone NEEDS to be scared! Maybe they won't bully another child after that huh! My daughters bully is no longer a bully.... she even goes to college with my daughter, and has told many people "dont mess with her or her brother...her mom, she will f'ing kill you"..... No, I won't kill you, your a child, I will kill the adults in charge who stood by and watched it all go down for over a year and did nothing about it, while my daughter became very ill and is lucky to be alive today! Okay.. I won't KILL anyone.... but I'll hurt ya! My daughters bully now calls her a friend, and is absolutely nice to her. DO NOT MESS WITH MY KIDS!!!!

[>>aruaL<<]

Originally Posted by PQ

Our children wanted to live in an apartment because they wanted to be footloose and fancy free.

The first one wanted to live in an apartment so that he could drink beer.

The second wanted to live in an apartment so that she could have s*x with her boyfriend.

The third one wanted to live in an apartment because we wanted her to live in the dorm. LOL.

The 4th one is an R.A. in the dorm....we will see what happens next year with him....He says that "nobody" lives in the dorms after their freshman year....LOL...I already know that isn't true. I told him that he will go down in history as a pioneer! The first senior at Montana State University to live in the dorm! He did not think that I was funny.

Sadly Fran, all of the above goes on in my daughters dorm.... ***, drinking, and drugs. My daughters friend ended up dropping out of school because her roommate would have *** in the room, while she was there - awake or 'sleeping'. She went to the housing office about it but was told there wasn't much they could do about it. She couldn't take it anymore, so she left school. Ugh! The boys in the room under my daughters room were expelled from housing, but not from school *makes no sense to me!* for having and doing drugs in their room, and drinking. Oddly enough, they were expellled from the dorm, while many others who do this same thing openly are not.

As for RA... oddly enough, one of the RA's they chose is a girl who has been written up several times for noise violation, has been sent up to the violation board, and has had to report for mediation because of issues she caused with other dormies..... but she gets selected to be an RA???!! THAT was the final straw for me, and I pulled DD out. Sent a letter to the housing office (she wasn't 18 yet, so I got to handle all of that.. and say my piece of mind!) and told them just how CR*PPY they are!

And that's just a few of the things on the list as to why we moved her out...however, I know this isn't the case at all schools. My best friends son has zero problems like this at his campus... well, not that he shares anyways lol.

[PQ]

Originally Posted by >>aruaL<<

Sadly Fran, all of the above goes on in my daughters dorm.... ***, drinking, and drugs. My daughters friend ended up dropping out of school because her roommate would have *** in the room, while she was there - awake or 'sleeping'. She went to the housing office about it but was told there wasn't much they could do about it. She couldn't take it anymore, so she left school. Ugh! The boys in the room under my daughters room were expelled from housing, but not from school *makes no sense to me!* for having and doing drugs in their room, and drinking. Oddly enough, they were expellled from the dorm, while many others who do this same thing openly are not.

As for RA... oddly enough, one of the RA's they chose is a girl who has been written up several times for noise violation, has been sent up to the violation board, and has had to report for mediation because of issues she caused with other dormies..... but she gets selected to be an RA???!! THAT was the final straw for me, and I pulled DD out. Sent a letter to the housing office (she wasn't 18 yet, so I got to handle all of that.. and say my piece of mind!) and told them just how CR*PPY they are!

And that's just a few of the things on the list as to why we moved her out...however, I know this isn't the case at all schools. My best friends son has zero problems like this at his campus... well, not that he shares anyways lol.

At MSU the process for RA selection is four tiered and rigorous. Initially about 150 applied, but only about 90 were allowed to participate in the initial (six on one...6 faculty members met with each applicant and interviewed them ) interviews. After the interviews, about half were cut----down to 45 applicants ---- Each of the forty-five had to do a 10 minute presentation on what they were going to do to make the university an enjoyable, safe haven for students. After the presentations the pool was cut to 25. Those 25 kids had to go sleep in tents for two days and participate in leadership classes out in the wild. After the weekend wilderness trip the RA applicant pool dropped to 20. For the life of me I cannot remember what the last step was.......they finally selected 16 RA's.

Last but not least, an RA has to have at least a 3.5 GPA. As an RA Andrew has to provide representation for his building, plan activities for the building, and try to mold the students under his care into a cohesive family. I think that this is going to be a wonderful leadership building experience for him.

When they ask Andrew why he wanted to be an RA he told them that he was going to invite all of the students in his building to religious services once a week (I was shocked that they let that one slide), he was going to invite them to join him at the university athletic club to work out every morning before classes (he goes at 5:30 a.m.), and that he was going to invite the new freshmen to go with him when he volunteers in the community. (He volunteers as a manual laborer at the local cancer center and He goes once a week to read to elementary children during their library time).

All this sounds really nice....but just so you do not get the wrong impression, Andrew is not a saint. Oh the stories I could tell you.........

They knocked $8000 off of his tuition in return for him being an RA. That made me click my heels and grin from ear to ear.

[>>aruaL<<]

Originally Posted by PQ

At MSU the process for RA selection is four tiered and rigorous. Initially about 150 applied, but only about 90 were allowed to participate in the initial (six on one...6 faculty members met with each applicant and interviewed them ) interviews. After the interviews, about half were cut----down to 45 applicants ---- Each of the forty-five had to do a 10 minute presentation on what they were going to do to make the university an enjoyable, safe haven for students. After the presentations the pool was cut to 25. Those 25 kids had to go sleep in tents for two days and participate in leadership classes out in the wild. After the weekend wilderness trip the RA applicant pool dropped to 20. For the life of me I cannot remember what the last step was.......they finally selected 16 RA's.

Last but not least, an RA has to have at least a 3.5 GPA. As an RA Andrew has to provide representation for his building, plan activities for the building, and try to mold the students under his care into a cohesive family. I think that this is going to be a wonderful leadership building experience for him.

When they ask Andrew why he wanted to be an RA he told them that he was going to invite all of the students in his building to religious services once a week (I was shocked that they let that one slide), he was going to invite them to join him at the university athletic club to work out every morning before classes (he goes at 5:30 a.m.), and that he was going to invite the new freshmen to go with him when he volunteers in the community. (He volunteers as a manual laborer at the local cancer center and He goes once a week to read to elementary children during their library time).

All this sounds really nice....but just so you do not get the wrong impression, Andrew is not a saint. Oh the stories I could tell you.........

They knocked $8000 off of his tuition in return for him being an RA. That made me click my heels and grin from ear to ear.

I wish Kay's school did even HALF of the above mentioned for their RA selection! The requirements are LOW, only a 2.3 gpa is required! Yes.... you read that right. They had one group interview with all of the applicants, which lasted for all of 30 minutes and then they had one-on-one interviews which lasted all of less than 30 minutes. There were about 16 applicants and 6 were selected. Personally, of what I know of 4 of the 6, I wouldn't ask them to babysit my dead rabbit!

[GrandmaCrys]

I just got the word that Margie agreed they should have a chat on Friday night, Sept 9, from Las Vegas. They will sign on at 10PM DSP time and hope to see you all there.

How cool is that???? Be sure to mark your calendars for Sept. 9!!

[bendipez]

Originally Posted by GrandmaCrys

I just got the word that Margie agreed they should have a chat on Friday night, Sept 9, from Las Vegas. They will sign on at 10PM DSP time and hope to see you all there.

How cool is that???? Be sure to mark your calendars for Sept. 9!!

Cool!!! And it won't interfere with our midnight photo walk

[Tara]

Originally Posted by PQ

Honey hush. I know EXACTLY what you are talking about!!! When Andrew was a senior one of his teachers (This teacher was in her early 40's and dressed VERY inappropriately. A group of irate mothers went to the principal about her because the rumors were rampant that she was having some affairs with a few of the male students) invited him to her house for "extra help" in math. WHAT????? Andrew was a 3.8 GPA student, and at that time he was taking AP calculus - he finished that course with a 4.0. What was she going to "help" him with ----- I don't know, but I have my suspicions.

AND NOW THE PLOT THICKENS - that teacher quit at the end of last year, right when Andrew graduated (she left because of all the rumors) and moved to Texas WHERE SHE IS STILL TEACHING. AND I JUST FOUND OUT THAT SHE IS TEXTING ANDREW AT COLLEGE ON A REGULAR BASIS. I almost came unglued. I notified our principal and I hope that he is going to notify the school in Texas. (I would call them myself if I knew where in the heck she went.)

And yes, this same teach has a FB account so that she rub shoulders with her students. I considered flying to Texas and knocking the crap out of her.

Um...wow....that's all I can say about that. Wow.

Originally Posted by PQ

About seven years ago the bulk of my hair (from head to toe) fell out as a result of illness. The first place that the hair loss was evident was my eyelashes, and from there it spread to my entire body. I wore a wig for almost 2 years, then some hair returned and I was able to give up the wig (and boy was I glad because that stinkin' thing was SO hot), but my lashes remained very sparse and there were gaps where there were no lashes at all. Having normal lashes again makes me feel so much more "well".............optical illusion I know, but it really has done wonders for my self esteem.

You are allowed to grow your lashes! I just got the sense from this particular commercial that it was trying to convince people that "inadequate lashes" is a new problem they must take care of. If your lashes are sparse and you want to change that (you being anyone) - - go for it! But I don't want more commercials implying that we need to fix more things about ourselves!

Originally Posted by >>aruaL<<

I have noticed that once the kids got to middle school, MANY of the parents 'gave up'... they no longer are active in their childrens lives. I don't get that...... what the heck are they thinking!

Gosh, we really got on a high soapbox today.... hahahaah.

You should hear the parents at conferences and such. "I told him, 'You are in middle school now. It is up to you." Um...no...6th grade is when your kids (often sons especially) NEED mom to keep on them, teach them, guide them. PLEASE don't ditch your kids in middle school!

Originally Posted by >>aruaL<<

PQ, I do the same with my kids. Scouts doesn't allow the to have their phones either... uh yah right, its in his pocket and turned off. Plain and simply put, if they don't like it ... too bad. If he's abusing MY rule, then I'll pull him out of Scouts, otherwise, I don't see a problem with it being in his pocket.

Makes sense! What drives me crazy is the parents who call/text their kids during the school day. And I'm not talking about emergencies either! If there is an emergency and a parent needs to contact the kid - - call the office! Of course, that is just the teacher perspective. I'm not a parent!!!

Originally Posted by GrandmaCrys

I just got the word that Margie agreed they should have a chat on Friday night, Sept 9, from Las Vegas. They will sign on at 10PM DSP time and hope to see you all there.

Cool! I have a training for work that night (and the next day...ugh), but if we are done by then I can pop in and say hi.

[PQ]

Originally Posted by >>aruaL<<

I wish Kay's school did even HALF of the above mentioned for their RA selection! The requirements are LOW, only a 2.3 gpa is required! Yes.... you read that right. They had one group interview with all of the applicants, which lasted for all of 30 minutes and then they had one-on-one interviews which lasted all of less than 30 minutes. There were about 16 applicants and 6 were selected. Personally, of what I know of 4 of the 6, I wouldn't ask them to babysit my dead rabbit!

Just so you know, I am still giggling over the dead rabbit crack.

[diturpin]

Originally Posted by PQ

Oh, I love you too Fran!