journaling:

My mom is a survivor of more than just breast cancer. She has survived the abuse of a family friend as a child. She also survived the life of a Navy brat. She’s come to the brink of financial ruin but has found a way past that is actually better for her health.



I know it was hard for her to move so much. She was shy because of the eye surgeries she had at a young age. She once told me, until high school, she gave up making friends. As soon as she got comfortable enough with people they would move and she would have to start all over again. Books became her friends.



She went to a Catholic Women’s college and majored in Math and Chemistry. This was a difficult field for women in the early 60’s. She was able to turn that into a job with the State of New York testing water safety. I think she got hired out of college before my dad did. Eventually she turned the math degree into a CPA, though I don’t think she ever finished her MBA.



The divorce from my dad was hard financially but much better for her emotionally. I think I was in high school the first time I really heard her laugh. Bill her second husband has been so good for her. He is her rock, he is thoughtful and caring. And when his health was better he took her dancing.



Having cancer and then the masectomy, made her change the way she thought about life. She let go of a lot of baggage that she felt there was no point in dwelling on any more. She even sat her younger sister down and told her to do the same, because it was slowly destroying her family. Once my aunt started to do the same, a lot of things in her own life became happier.



The change in outlook, changed how she delt with things at work. For years one of the partners in the firm she was in made her life miserable. All because she was never impressed by all the important people he knew and all the money he had. Even after the firm merged with another and my mom no longer had to work with him, ever, he did what he could to make sure she couldn’t earn a living. It all came to a head last spring, she gave notice and was given a good severance package. It took several months and her yearly physical to decide that if she did go back to work it would only be part time. Her doctor was so happy with her, all her numbers were down, blood sugars, blood pressure, cholesterol. I think in some ways the stress was killing her. Her work and business ethics, helped her make a lot of contacts as well as friends over the years. Soon she may be teaching accounting seminars at one of the local universities.



I am so proud of her. It makes me laugh that my son cries for her when he’s mad at me because either I won’t give in to him or I insist he do something he doesn’t want to. I laugh because she was so much more strict with me and my sister than I am with my boys. We always knew she loved us and I’m glad she raised us the way she did. I think by the time I was 12 all she had to do was give me an “I’m disappointed in you” look for me to know I was in trouble. She is the reason I am the person I am, and I wouldn’t change that ever.

Whack-A-Do Collection -Suzanne Walker

Sketch -N Beaudreau